Here is how it goes...
She is married, he is married...they are work colleagues...somethings' is in the air...nobody knows exactly what, but whenever together time passes by quickly and both of them cannot let go..simple as that. There is nothing intimate between them, nothing at all, just some intensity..however....
All of a sudden he changes his attitude towards her, he ignores her, he cannot or just won't look at her, they do not even speak any more..with no explanation or whatsoever...he just started acting as a completely different man, meaning he talks with everyone else but her.
How can she find out what in fact happened, or just make him tell her what is wrong..just to clear things up, for the sake of the good times??! And this without being pushy or annoying
2007-09-24 05:21:26 · 17 answers · asked by Senka M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is always disturbing when someone has admired and respected you, and then suddenly becomes stand-offish for no reason that you can pinpoint.
However, it is a COMMON human experience. Maybe he had a religious experience (or attended a lecture in which a speaker convicted him of his unfair treatment of his wife), or maybe a lot of other possibilities.
He is unlikely to be truly candid in telling you what happened. For one thing, you would argue right away, and he might not be able to deal with ANY level of argument.
I'd say you should continue to be your sweet self, say hello to him even if he refuses to meet your eyes, and act as though this isn't bothering you at all.
I've been through it, and the issue is usually unfixable. Shut off the portion of your brain that still finds him exciting.
2007-09-24 05:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by SaturnMan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best guess, he felt guilty, maybe he was developing feelings that shouldn't have been there or something and he is over correcting.
Advice:
1. Give him time. Once he gets over feeling guilty and over his feelings, he'll probably treather like a co-worker again.
2. Send an email or write a note. It's a non confrontational way to ask. Maybe he'll be able to say what's going on if he doesn't have to look her in the face.
3. Move on. You say for the sake of the good times, i say for the sake of the marriage. That kind of relationship is not really healthy for a marriage.
4. Ask someone that he works closely with. "Hey, what's up with (guys's name here)? He's been afwully quiet lately" something simple and generic.
Good Luck
2007-09-24 05:29:39 · answer #2 · answered by melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possible scenario: Someone had an epiphany that they were developing feelings for the other one (or maybe had that notion suggested to them by a spouse during a family argument) so this knee-jerk reaction has developed to avoid the appearance of impropriety or to evade a tacit realization that there "really is something to this"...therefore this abrupt attitude change is overdone to compensate for the emotional component. Seems plausible, right?
2007-09-24 05:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did the right thing by cutting his feelings off before they developed. He would like to remain friends but knows that he is riding a fine line that he may want to cross. But because he loves his wife knows that he shouldnt and should work extra hard at letting his stirrings die down before he takes it too far. What a comendable man. Bet you didnt think guys had it so hard huh?
2007-09-24 06:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as his lack of communication with her is not affecting any projects they are working on together, then it's none of her business. My guess would be, he's decided that his marriage means more to him than an office romance. I would also guess that he does not want to jeopardize his standing with the company he works for, many frown on this sort of thing. My suggestion to her would be to simply keep any and all communication with him strictly business, and to possibly consider why she's looking outside HER marriage for meaningful conversation with another man. That leads to infidelity, and broken hearts and lives.
2007-09-24 05:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is married, she need to keep her mouth shut. This relationship can go nowhere.
Is it possible that this woman mentioned to some others about the wonderful magnetism between them...and he got wind of it? So he has pulled back because he loves his wife and saw the danger?
2007-09-24 05:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe he was told by the boss to may be cool it? OR may be he heard a rumor or he found someone else and when most men do, they treat the last one like **** or ignore them completely.
when given the time allows, pull him to the side and ask what's up. easy as that!
2007-09-24 05:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him. It would clear the air. And maybe it was just something that he has misunderstood and talking about it could restore the friendship.
Good luck.
2007-09-24 05:46:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows he is treading on thin ice and he is moving to safer ground. He knows the feelings are there but has chosen not to pursue it farther. Let it go.
2007-09-24 05:32:03 · answer #9 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm, let me see, perhaps HE WANTS TO KEEP HIS MARRIAGE INTACT???? Do you think THAT could be the reason????!!!
Besides, this man is some other woman's HUSBAND! What business is it of the nobody in the office who he talks to or not?!
Geez, stupidity at its finest.
2007-09-24 05:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋