I recently started an affair with a man that I have only recently met. When I met him i found out he had children with his girlfriend but they had not been together long. I had been going through a break up with my boyfriend and father of my children after he cheated on me.
I found the man very sexually attractive and started flirting with him. We ended up having sex after about a week of knowing him and it was amazing. So I did it again. after the third time he casually tells me he's acctually getting married. So I think, ok so his lady had a baby, thats bound to put her off sex and he's just getting it out of his system before getting married. Neither of us are interested in the other, in a relationship way, and since I have started a new realtionship but my new boyfriend lives in france. And whenever the man suggests something i just can't say no. I have called the affair off after seeing him out with his family. but i don't know for how long...
2007-09-24 04:58:28 · 27 answers · asked by hopeless_romantic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you are inviting those things in your life:
cheating
over pride
betraying
selfishness
thoughtless
unmorality
indifference
and as result: unhappiness and loneliness.
You have to change your attitude and thinking. Otherwise, yes, what goes around, comes around.
You have to love yourself, but you have to have love for others too. You have love only for yourself.
2007-09-24 05:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll start off nicely to you because none of the other answers did. Alright first thing you do, end it immediately. It's better for you, your family, him and his family. The relationship will only cause turmoil. If he calls you just ignore it. You are better than that. You don't need to keep someone around just for sex no matter how great it is. If you really need sex then go find a single guy who is looking for a no strings attached relationship too. However, you said you have a boyfriend in France though. I bet he wouldn't like to know that you are cheating on him. Would you like it if he was doing it to you? The answer should be no. Lastly, your trying to lie to yourself to make things easier for yourself. You say he has children with he fiancee but then you say they haven't been together long. It takes nine months to create a baby and thats if it happens on the first time. Plus however old the child is so that means they have been together for a semi-long time. And your also lying to yourself when you say that you cant tell him know. That is a major problem for a lot of women, they cant tell a man NO. If you dont learn to say no to him or any other man, things will get out of hand and will get worse. I guarantee it. So my advice end it. Leave your current boyfriend and move on with a new life with your children.
W.
2007-09-24 12:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by _ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You used the "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" approach when your boyfriend cheated on you and the guy you chose was just like your boyfriend A GOOSE. I would imagine that you were looking for comfort for your aching heart but quickly fell head over heels for his guy because he happened to be pretty darn good sexually and he probably said ALL THE RIGHT WORDS, the ones you had wished your boyfriend had said. Sadly, that was just A TOOL, a set of words that this guy knew worked on women and you fell for it.
I understand that you want to feel loved and need comfort from your recent breakup (father of your children) boyfriend but this is just a rebound affair and they don't work.
Think about how this women would feel if she knew you were trying to have sex with her new husband (the father of her children) HOW YOU MUST HAVE FELT in the same situation. Do you really want to cause another relationship to have these problems, another women to feel hurt and lost like you do?
Be thankful you have a new boyfriend (even if he is in France) and think about this new relationship as a stepping stone back into the world after your heart was broken.
Rebound relationships happen way too quick and most turn out horribly. You need time to know yourself, to believe in yourself, and time to figure out who you really deserve to be with, someone who is actually loving, supportive, trusting, and all inclusive to you and your children.
Go slowly, ask family and friends for support right now. You don't want another cheat for a companion as it's a pattern with some people that never stops.
Remember to tell yourself that you are worth a lot better than the likes of these cheating men and believe in yourself. Good luck.
2007-09-24 12:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by Twilight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has made you his cheap booty call. Don't assume he isn't having an active sex life with his soon to be wife. He wouldn't be marrying her if he didn't, child or not. Rationalize it all you want to make yourself feel better, but he is marrying this woman. It's not just about the kids. And, most likely, he will cheat with ANY available woman, he is that kind of man.
You can always say no, and for as long as you want. It's your choice. You are cheating on your 'new boyfriend' if he thinks you are committed to him.
You left a man for being this way, why invite another cheating man into your life? His girlfriend, deserves better and so do you? Why do you keep men in your life who cheat on you, treat you this way? It's your choice to make him a part of your life. Most likely, he will continue to call on you once he is married, he will make you his free prostitute. Do you want to live that way? You will have to keep his dirty secrets and stay in the shadows.
Now, did your ex boyfriend cheat on you even though he was getting plenty of attention from you? I bet he was. It's an ego game for him. Some people are serial philanderers, they need that ongoing ego boost.
Figure out what you want for your own life. Don't blame him. You CAN say no if you want to.
2007-09-24 17:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did say... "my boyfriend and father of my children" correct? Meaning that you are not married to this man, correct?
The fact that you went and had sex with another man (let's forget for a second that he is getting married) only means you are not ready to make a commitment and be in a steady relationship.
It would be better if you broke up with both your boyfriend and this soon to be married man (he is not definitely off limits). Take some time to yourself, explore, mess around, get it out of your system and then maybe you will find someone that will actually want to be with and will make you forget about ever cheating.
Good luck
2007-09-24 12:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anthonylikes2...☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the question? Wow you met a man who has children with his girlfriend but they have not been together very long. How interesting that it takes up to at least 9 to 10 months to have one and if its more than one, longer. Suddenly you spread hurt around doing exactly what hurt your relationship. You have called off the affair but do not know how long? Wow you really are calling all the shots here.
2007-09-24 12:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all we all have been or will be hurt one time or the other by a man.. I do not suggest keeping the relationship going as for one day you will want to get married and the same thing will happen to you, if you mess around with someone's elses husband. Put yourself in the wife's shoes, if she knew she would be hurt.. Just break it off so you can one day have a happy marriage and your mind at ease, not only that I dont think any women should be second to another, I should hope all women would want to be FIRST. Because when its all said and done the wife gets everything and he will not leave his wife for you.
2007-09-24 12:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by hershey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't ask a question in your posting. What do you want to know - are you wrong? - YES 1,000 times. You were cheated on and it hurt so much that you broke you with your man. What would you do if you ran into the girl he cheated on you with and broke up your family? Kick her *** probably. Well you must be looking for the same. Why would you want to make someone else feel the pain you felt. It's wrong of you and the man - even if it is only sex.
2007-09-24 12:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Hope I Can Help :-) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave well enough alone! Why because it's damaging to you if you caught feelings on seeing him with his family, and yes you did catch feelings because it would not had took for you to want to call it off after seeing him with his family! You took your feelings and stored them and put on a front, just as I had like you had it all together, but you really didn't! LOL, and I think you do have morals so don't belittle yourself anymore with the situation and get out of it! Trust me it's not healthy at all! I know first hand! On an honest note, it almost destroyed me! I regained confidence that I lacked in me and got it together and the guy that your feeling, trust me isn't all that he's cracked up to be trust me! He's selfish and self-centered! He don't care about you or his wife so be glad he's not your husband and feel sorry for her!
2007-09-24 12:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eeeaaayyy, Bravo, lets give her a round of applause, come on people clap your hands with me!
What the hell was that I just read? so you thought that the best way to get what you're going through right now out of your system was by paying attention to a moron who goes around to find weak people like you just to cheat on his fiance + baby! Come on, you have got to be kidding. What did you felt when your stupid husband cheated on you? Now, tell me what would you think she will feel if she finds out about what he is doing? Is she going to be happy? there is no excuse for what you've done, however you are still on time to just called it quit, I know you can do it. Besides why do you want women like her to pay for what your husband did to you? Why is it enough for you to be the second plate on the table instead of finding a man just for you and always be 1st? I really hope that you think things over and put up your self esteem and don't be another DUMB Bi*** who don't give a F*** about others people feelings. I know you are smarter than that and you know it too.
Good luck and take care
2007-09-24 12:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by D1NONLY 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So, how does revenge taste?
Does it make you feel better to be the other woman?
Ok, they did it to you, but what you have to understand is two wrongs are hardly going to make it right.
In one case you were the legitimate, and now you are the bit on the side.
You didn't upgrade from what I can see.
What is it you want from life?
How do you go about getting it?
I doubt you've chosen the best, easier, safest and most fulfilling way.
Good luck and get your acts together, before you find yourself among the rubbish!
2007-09-24 12:51:41 · answer #11 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋