Sex education in primary school?

Question

I have two boys. The eldest is 9 and soon will be given sex education at school. Do you think I'm right to be concerned thinking that's he's too young? It may be his last year in believing in Santa but now-a-days they're gonna end up learning about the birds and the bees first.

There's such a problem about mothers getting younger and younger. Is teaching them in a Junior school the right answer? I don't think so.

Why can't kids be allowed to be kids now-a-days? Do you think I should ask the school not to include him in those lessons?

Answer 1

As a mom my answer is you should let him sit with his class friends to listen to the class sex education pull him out his friends will laugh and not only that they will also fill him with a lot of rubbish that was not said making him confused.
I agree today our children grow up quick however it is a fact that they mature much more quickly nowadays i would imagine your son knows a lot more than you think he does my girls knew more than me when they were young!!
i have always talked open and honest as I felt age appropriate and I am sure school will let you know prior what is happening in that class if not ask so you can for armed for any questions.
A friend of mine had a daughter that started periods at 9 and that was difficult for her.
He can still be a kid and do all the things that they do we all have the same worry as moms what ever age or sex of our children. As long as you are there to talk to him when needed and he feels loved, safe and secure he will be ok.

Answer 2

When I was your son's age, a bunch of the other kids were always joking about sex and whispering about it not because they were doing it, but because it was a taboo subject. When we actually learned about it (age ten) it was kinda funny for awhile, then just another subject in school. Unfortunately kids are experimenting at younger and younger ages according to a lot of surveys. But just with anything else, I think that if something is Taboo, kids have a lot more draw to talk about things and perhaps even do them than if thigns are just discussed honestly.

When kids are allowed to make up their own information on subjects that are only whispered about, they come up with some pretty bad information. I guess the question is whether or not it's better to have good information on a subject, or bad information.

You could potentially teach him yourself before the class does if you are worried about HOW the information will be given. If you exclude him from lessons though, do think about how this will look to his peers- will it cause him embaressment or grief or teasing? If the other students "learn this stuff" and he doesn't consider the repercussions positive and negative that he might have.

This isn't a new thing btw, I learned this stuff in 5th (age 10) grade back in the 80's.

Answer 3

Well this is actually a 2 part question: First part being the unappropriate touching. My daughter who is only 3 yrs old just learned about it Preschool. In this day and age children need to know it's not ok when people touch them in that way. Now with sexual education i learned it in the 6th grade. Most of which i already knew. A few friends of mine were already having sex by that time. In all honesty i feel that the kids should be aware of it about the age of 8-9 then each year it gets approched throught the year to refresh their memories. You have kids have kids! It's getting to the point that 7th graders are having kids! It never happened that way when i was in school but it does now! With everything the way it is kids need to be aware of the consequences of their actions! Sex is fun, enjoyable and all but at some point there is a danger involved. It's that danger that kids dont really see. I think more emphasis needs to be brought up about pregnancy, protection and STD's! Knowledge is power. I personally will see to it that my kids are educated when they become curious about sex. I don't want grandkids in 10 years from now!

Answer 4

Hi there,
As a primary school teacher who has to deliver this subject to the boys and the girls (separately) i know why your are concerned.
However, a good school should allow you to view ALL the materials that will be used such as videos, posters, etc.
The main sections of the lessons are actually about puberty and the changes facing boys and girls, so that they are not so confused when things start to happen. We only have 1 lesson on Sex and it is very briefly the machinics, and much more "how 2 adults love each other very much" make a baby!
It is a sad fact but something is changing and our children are physically maturing earlier. I teach year 6 and have 16 girls in my class, I did a confidential survey with parents and 7 of my girls have started their periods, in year 6 - how depressing!
Every year it shocks me how much absolute trash they think they know, you may think your son is too young but the adult content of prewatershed TV, if not for him then for his friends, will have already opened his eyes to things he doesn't undertsand propperly.
Education is our only key to helping children understand their bodies (many parents just don't feel comfortable talking to their children about Penis' and Vaginas - I don't even blush saying those words out loud now!) which is maybe why our teenage pregnancy rate is going up not down, also it is the highest in Europe and yet many countries do Sex ed in year 3.
My last reason for you not to remove him is it tends to make them feel a bit left out and then.....
his very helpful friends will give him the not so accurate, much grosser description which will really confuse him. (Has happened every year, even though we ask them not to talk about it on the playground as it is personal!)
I would see the materials the school will be using and make sure you set some time aside to discuss things with him after.
Hope that helps a bit! xx

Answer 5

As much as I hate to hear about it, kids these days are learning about sex earlier and earlier. If he hasn't already, he will probably hear about it from his friends. So who would you like to teach him about sex? His 9 year old friends? Or an informed teacher who can give him real information and not fill his mind with the idea that a girl can't get pregnant if they have sex in a pool? (I read an article about a 12 year old girl falling for this and getting pregnant from a boy the same age).

Honestly, if they're asking about it, it's time to sit them down and have a frank talk. Because if you and their teachers don't tell them, they'll move onto their friends.

It's sad that kids are growing up so fast these days, but sheltering them isn't the answer. They need to know the facts and know that they can ask their parents anything without fear of getting punished or ignored because they're "too young to know stuff like that." Talk to you son and open up communication with him, be frank and honest and only answer the questions he askes, then you don't have to get into the nitty gritty details that can be saved until he's a bit older.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

I'm not sure what people think is presented in 4th grade sex-ed classes. The do NOT teach how to have sex, at least that wasn't on the agenda when I taught it using a specific school set cirriculum. They teach parts of the body, what they do and why, puberty, menstruation and ways to minimize associated pain.

In the past decades, children have started physically maturing earlier and earlier. Their bodies are changing, and they need to know why. Often girls as young as 9 (and frequently younger) are starting to menstruate whereas the general age 50 years ago was closer to 14.

Pulling your son out is your choice. Before you do that though, talk to the teacher and ask to see the actual material that will be presented. Then make your decision.

Answer 7

First - without looking it up on the internet, do you even understand what is meant when discussed about the birds and the bees and the relationship BOTH have as an analogy to human sexuality?

Most grown adults can't answer this question, and even if they think they can, more than likely they'll under-complicate the reference and refer to the singular act of pollination but they'll sit there scratching their head on the intended contrast to birds.

The act of sex is PRIMARILY about pleasure and few on this planet regard it as an act of procreation. Pollination occurs in MANY ways, and sex is but one possible way of exchanging genetic information, hence the analogy to birds and bees but it's A CHOICE and not just a function of biology as many would choose to believe.

Did you know bees actually get pleasure from copulating with flowers? Did you know the bees receive genetic information that's integrated with them biologically and becomes a part of the food they generate as a colony (honey)....

Here's the thing. With children's access to pornography and the internet, they're being taught that the reason you have sex is pleasure and that there are other methods to creating life (ie: genetics) which is creating a statistically relevant rise in sterility and fall in populations where the internet is prevalent.

What this means is - it's this NEXT generation - your children - which will be creating rules regarding life, sex for pleasure, and morality laws and rules that if you let it be an active part of these children's lives from a very young age, they won't have the discomfort and hangups (and naivety) regarding sex and pleasure than the prior generations. While this may not be a society you wish to partake in, guess what? You'll only see it on your way out that door of life.

As for these kids. In my opinion, having grown up as a programmer and having been exposed to all of this starting at a very young age, all I can say is - it 'feels' like - to me at least - that the way relationships have been treated has been controlling and seems to be there to induce drama.

The next generation i suspect is out to fix this. And to become something their parents weren't.

Freer to do what they want.

These kids are influencing the curriculum moreso than you might understand. Then again, you'd have to understand the birds and the bees rather than the single act of poking that stick in a hole.

Answer 8

I work in primary education an think sex ed is a total no no! They are far too young to understand it and it's complexities. They may well know the words 'sex' 'gay' etc but don't really know what it means. I think when they are making the transition to secondary school, it may be the time to take them aside and explain as well as you can because they will be far more exposed to it in that situation. It may be better coming from you than in a hushed, giggled situation in the playground. But not in primary - no way!

Answer 9

Our "sex ed class" was when we were in fifth grade. I was 10. They split up the boys and girls. I don't know what the boys did, but we watched a movie called "My Mother's Having A Baby" that looked like it was produced in the 50's.

I wouldn't be too worried. Ask the teacher what they'll be talking about. Hopefully they don't have kids putting condoms on bananas or something...

Answer 10

I remember when they gave us the same lecture in 5th grade. Personally, I think that it's better they start learning from a responsible source. Like you said, kids are growing up faster and faster and it's always harder to try to 'shield' them, but if you want to give him the talk yourself when you feel ready, that's fine. Just make sure it doesn't happen too late. He's gonna find out sooner or later,