A serious question to women about PMS…?

Question

My girlfriend gets extraordinarily bad cycles, and for a week every month it’s hell on earth. Seems like I get blamed for every little thing, the faucet dripping, the alarm clock being too loud, not having enough mustard in the house, etc… it’s a seriously emotional roller coaster for her and it is weighing down the relationship for me. What do I do? How does a man responsibly approach this subject given the circumstances?

And thanks, this is a serious question…

Mel- she is supposedly on treatment.

Answer 1

PMS is awful - for everyone including your girlfriend. There you are every month having an outburst and only realising why after the fact.
Visit the website:
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/pms/index_2.htm
for tips on how to cope - for you and your girlfriend.
Vitamin B and Calcium supplements are important.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I'm wondering if your girlfriend has PMDD, which stands for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It's not just "bad PMS", but moreso a debilitating, serious condition.

Have your girlfriend track her symptoms on this site...
http://www.yaz-us.com/BodyDiaryYaz/logon.jsp

I started out with a very severe case of PPD (postpartum depression), and was on many antidepressants, antipsychotics, and antianxiety meds for it. They did help with the PPD; however, once the PMDD came about, none of those meds, for some reason, helped me in the least bit. Even those that help many women with PMDD symptoms didn't do anything for me.

I was suicidal every month. It was a nightmare. I was hospitalized at one point with the PPD, and also once with the PMDD.

I started taking Yaz (birth control pill) last October, and it really helped alleviate the PMDD symptoms. I no longer take anything else, other than the occasional Ativan (antianxiety med) and my thyroid medication.

There are many women who do take antidepressants during ONLY the PMDD phase and have found that it is of help. Some women take both Yaz and an antidepressant, some take Yaz and an antianxiety med, some just take one or the other only, or just Yaz. I myself, like I said, am just pretty much taking Yaz, the Ativan is a rarity for me.

Here is my personal story of my PMDD...
http://www.heartbeatthemagazine.com/091806/091806inspirations.htm

Here is some major info regarding PMDD...
http://www.heartbeatthemagazine.com/091806/091806health.htm

Here is the Yaz website...
http://www.yaz-us.com/home.jsp

I feel for you, I know that you are going through a difficult time, as is your girlfriend. Let her know of your concerns, gently. Don't blame her, don't just say it's just "bad pms".

Good luck, I wish both of you the best.

Answer 4

Wait till after the roller coaster and calmly say "Honey I love you but during your time of the month you are not easy to live with". Or maybe try talking to one of her friends to bring up the subject. Her hormones may be out of whack a little bit or you might want to have midol laying around and suggest she take one. Good luck to you. I used to be like that with my husband until I went on birth control to control my hormones.

Answer 5

Unless she's willing to do something proactive (like starting a different birth control regime or going on whatever anti-depressant it is a couple weeks a month to alleviate symptoms) I really don't know what you can do. I'm in the same situation, only the other side (obviously I'm the woman), and I don't know how to control my anger and evil reactions either. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but you are not alone.

Btw, I am slightly amused to read her sample rants. Sounds like me, sadly. But it's amusing to read it in someone else.

Answer 6

talk to her when shes not pms ing. or get a freind of hers to talk to her. there is a birth control that helps control moods. tell her how u feel about the relaionship and how much her personality changes when its that time to the month.dont use words that would sound like ur attacking her. use words like acting, or personality, mood swings ect. she maynot realize how much she changes. ask her to keep an open mind and let her know you are just trying to make things better so ur relaionship will be better.
i hope shes able to reason with you and things get better.

Answer 7

Just talk to her about it. Just because she's pmsing that doesn't give her the right to be mean towards you. Maybe she needs something to help control her pms like meds or needs to change her diet. Confront her but in a kind matter.

Answer 8

Sounds like she needs to talk with her doctor. There are treatments for women who get really bad PMS symptoms like your talking about. Talk with your girlfriend about this when she is NOT PMSing.

God bless.

Answer 9

maybe she needs a different birth control method, or some (additional?) xanaxy-type thing for those days of the month.

Answer 10

If your girls symptoms are that bad, she may be suffering from PMDD, you might suggest that she see a Dr. which would benefit herself as much as you.