i been married 27 years, was very in love at first, i noticed a red flag in that he was verbaly abusive, but i thought it would go away, and even now it has still been there, his abuse killed the love and passion i once felt for him, i now realize that i dont and never deserved that. except now i cant leave him, he is alot older, i feel responsible and that he needs me because he is older and has basic medical conditions, but i feel i want to be there for him when he needs me for his health. Yet, i feel very alone and lonely. Thank you for listening and for your input.
2007-09-24 03:57:58 · 18 answers · asked by para_servirle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have been married 27 years and just now are wanting to leave? Well, not leave cause you feel guilty in someway cause he has medical needs. How old is he? I mean you lasted this long there has to be something. I think you need to get some counseling on being a stronger person and, learning to love yourself. Go from there......
2007-09-24 04:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've lasted 27 years.... that is a long time to devote yourself to someone. Be there and be his wife... that is the promise you made.
But remember, you can have a life outside of your home. Don't you have any friends to go hang out with or family to visit to get a break from all the pressure??
Ya know, I may be married but my hubby works out of town. I am not lonely when he is gone. I have friends, a job, things I can do on my own that bring me happiness even when he is not here. There are so many other options to cure loneliness than leaving your husband. It just depends on what you want for your life and if you are willing to realize you can have a life of your own while married.
2007-09-24 04:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sucks when this happens, because sadly u confused pity for love.
when a person is verbally abusive or physically, its just marked for a rocky relationship. now, uve been married for 27 yrs, i dont understand why u've put up with it for so long? honey, its never too late to get out. im sure u can end this with dignity, talk to ur hubby and tell him ur not happy and havent been for so long. about his health, u will always be there, im sure of it.
i think its time to put ur self first, let these strings go , and be happy.
i wish u the best.!
2007-09-24 04:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey it sux Being codependent!
I watched my mom -n- stepdad go through it all the beatings ,verbal abuse, him cheating etc. You and her are codependent. I know if I start seeing some one and afte 3 or 4 months their additudes change in any way from too clingy or Dominate or abusive in any form I am gone. You could leave him it is you due not think you will be able to find your favorite relationship,
and it is excatly how the one your in is right now.
2007-09-24 04:17:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can leave him, NO one should be put in this situation of abuse, he's playing the guilt trip card on you, you need to wake up. I put up with this and the physical abuse also for over 30 years, and I'm disabled, and I filed for the divorce, if I can do it so can you, if this is what you really want,.. email if you want to talk.
2007-09-24 04:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well part of marriage is to honor and cherish to death do u part but this is something that you should have worked out b4 u 2 walked down the isle...how did u think he would change if he always have been this way...u need to talk to him about it or tell him it's over if he can't change for the best of the both of you...and as far as him being older as long as he ain't incompetent or handicap he will be just fine without u if you plan on leaving him...blkbeautygrl07
2007-09-24 04:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by blkbeautygrl07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, everyone does not keep bashing you. Speaking of "not knowing what you are saying," you are doing just that in at least 3 ways: You are generalizing and stereotyping. Secondly, Mormons are one of the main groups who go door to door preaching and trying to convert others. That does NOT qualify as "leaving other people alone." Thirdly I have indeed seen SOME Mormons bashing other religions,
2016-04-05 22:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop making excuses for staying because of his medical conditions. You are not, and have never been responsible for this man. If you feel like you need to leave him, then just leave. You are right in saying that you do not deserve it, be true to that. If you are not true to yourself, and respect yourself enough to put yourself firts, then who will?
2007-09-24 04:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by seaelven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you tell him all that medical stuff is happening because he is so darned mean, and when you leave he will be sick and alone. Have your bags in the trunk, and just leave. Tell him you only get one life to live, and from now on you are going to live it. Who knows if you will be here tomorrow? Don't waste your life with this ******.
2007-09-24 04:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what'll it take to make you happy about yourself? You'll always feel guilt. Normal you know. How can you not after all those years? However its no easy step to take. Unfortunately you can't have it both ways. Guilt will pass. Usually always does. The question is how much longer you can tolerate the intolerable.
2007-09-24 04:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋