I have lunch and occassionally drinks with a friend. She recently told me that she does not tell her husband?

Question

Does anyone find this problematic? Should I end the friendship? How should I inerpret the fact that she doesnt want to disclose this to her hubby? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Sounds like she could want more. She is being more open with you than her own husband. I have a thought that no one has touched on here...what if the hubby finds out? Do you know him? Does he have a temper? I would be very careful before stepping into a bad situation with a very angry husband, cause he may come looking for you and the sad things is that you didn't even do anything. If she is a true friend, she should not put you in this position. Think about it and good luck!

Answer 2

Hmm... well, she disclosed the fact that she doesn't tell her husband about your meetings, so there is an aura of guilt there within her, no? That cannot be good.

Maybe you can casually ask her the next time you meet up WHY she doesn't tell her husband about your meetings. Perhaps that will shed some light on what's going on in her marriage. If you feel uncomfortable at all after that, let her know that you think her husband should know that you hang out now and then because you feel it's right that he knows. If she is hesitant, then just cut the relationship off.

Answer 3

I have so many male friends that at first would not tell their girlfriends or wives that we were still great friends. More times than not, the spouse is too insecure to accept a friendship of the opposite sex. It can be territorial, often it's lack of trust based on their insecurities or past. What I did, was tell them I was uncomfortable being a secret.. that can only lead to problems. If she can't communicate with her husband, that isn't your fault or your problem. Most of my friends ended up talking to their spouses and easing them into it, helping them through any insecurities.. others were to afraid to bring it up and sadly, I had to let them go. I refuse to feel like the "other woman" when I'm not and that could only lead the spouse into believing that more is going on than actually is, when they inevitably find out.

Answer 4

Well Jack, I'm kinda reading between the lines here and I may be waaaay off base. But this is what I see as a possibility. She may not be telling her husband (and relayed this fact to you) on the off chance that she is wanting it to go further between you. If she hasn't told her husband about the lunches, then an affair would be much easier for her to conceal.

Answer 5

She probally doesn't want to have problems with her husband. I have a husband that I can't do anything. He gets mad if I go out of the house for anything besides work. I sneak out and not tell him what I am doing just to avoid the fighing. If she is your friend and nothing else is going on, what is the problem?

Answer 6

If she has to hide it from her husband...she knows that he wouldn't approve and thus she is being dishonest. She is lying by omission. It could become problematic if her husband should find out and comes after you. Only you know if it would be better to end the friendship.

Answer 7

maybe she feels as though it is innocent enough to just each lunch with a co worker and go have some drinks that she doesn't need to worry her husband about it if she starts to come on to you then I would break off the relationship

Answer 8

Her husband is probly really jealous, my ex was like that. Thats not cool, I wouldnt quit being friends with her though, unless shes acting out while you guys are hanging out, like picking up on other men. Just talk to her about it and ask why?

Answer 9

i wouldn't interpret it as anything. just enjoy your time together. it's her choice not to tell her husband. she isn't doing anything wrong unless you're a guy.

Answer 10

i think her husband could be jealous. that why she wont tell him. just keep on enjoying her company.