I am married and so ready to get out of this relationship but my husband wont take a hint. I have told him over and over how I feel and still he won't leave. I want to be free to have a relationship with someone I met but cant because my husband is always stalking me and acusing me of something i haven't done. I have told him i dont love him anymore but he insists on trying to work it out and won't leave. I dont want to be ugly to him but he doesnt get the hint and because of our son i would like to separate on friendly terms. Someone please tell me what do i do? This man is driving me crazy.
2007-09-24 03:09:42 · 13 answers · asked by BETTY A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well you're thinking of infidelity so why shouldn't he be suspicious.. You are unfaithful because here you are married and the next guy comes along and you're willing to leave your marriage,
Clearly you don't take commitment seriously..
2007-09-24 03:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by brenda 2 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I didn't want to answer this question since i prefer to save my ppercentage value but looking at all the crazy answers you're getting, i have no choice but to answer. First of all i don't think people like Josie d really read the freaking question before answering them!
No matter what anyone says, it's hard to give you a better advise on this site since most of us have never been married and we don't really know you, so we base our advise on moral values. I agree partly with zelle in the sense that wanting to leave your husband for another man shows a lack of commitment in your part. But if you feel that you will truly be happy with someone else and away from him then it's probably best for you to speak to a counselor and to discuss this with a family member and have a talk with your husband. Make sure you let him know that you're leaving for another man.. I still think you should reconsider your marriage but at the end it's your happiest that's most important.
Take care!
2007-09-24 10:45:12 · answer #2 · answered by melody 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know, that you are the one that has "found somebody else" and he is the one trying to keep the marriage going. For this he is driving you crazy and being a stalker? I would suspect that his accusations are pretty correct from what you have posted and even after all of this, I would also suspect that you try taking him for literally everything that you possibly can when the time comes. If you want out so badly, then do the man a favor. Pack and leave yourself. After all you are the one that is dissatisfied and wanting another relationship. Why should he leave so that you can bring your next partner under the same roof?
2007-09-24 10:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Take a deep breath, and ask yourself, if you cannot make it work with your first husband, what make you think that you will make it work with the new guy? Won't you sooner or later fall into the same pattern with him, and you will be wanting out of that relationship too?
You did promise to love your first husband through the best and the worst, until death do you part. Sound familiar?
The one common factor in all of your unhappy relationships is you; think about that.
See "8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage" At the link below. The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths we all face after we walk down the aisle — and how they teach us about what love really means.
2007-09-24 10:23:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ned F 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why did you marry a man who drives you crazy?
You made a vow to love him for better or for worse. This is apparently worse. You owe it to your husband and your little one to try and work things out. Love is a choice, not something that bops you on the head.
The fact that you "want to be free to have a relationship with someone you met" means that even if you haven't cheated on your husband, you have misdirected energies that should have been spent on your marriage.
You should see a marriage counselor before you do anything else. Then, even if the marriage cannot be saved, the counselor can help you to part on friendly terms.
2007-09-24 10:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by Theresa 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There is no law that a man has to leave his house whether you want it, hint it, or even demand it. Only a judge's order or divorce decree can accomplish that. Since you are the one who wants to have a relationship with someone else, it is you who should go through the inconvenience of leaving if anyone does. Make sure you leave your son with your commitment-minded husband while you're out discovering that the grass is actually not greener on the other side of the fence.
2007-09-24 10:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am not sure what are you really up to but make sure is worth it. If you just bored with your husband becuase you've been together for a long time, you better find a way to work it out. No how old is you kid? is it he or she, whatever the case they will need him. You just can't tell him to leave if you are the one that is looking for something else, can you leave and leave the kids to him? can he take care of them? Wont you go to a marriege consuling cession so you or him can open you eyes and wake up from each others dreams and desires and or real feelings. When things are not going right in a realation ship we become irrational and tend to defend out points and ideas to strogly that we just end up hurting each other, you need a profesional to help you straigthen this up and help you figure out what is the best decission. Is this new guy promissing somthing new, for how long do you think it will last? will he commit to you fully? does he love you or you two just having a good time, does he knows all of your defects and loves them, has he waken up with you in the morning without make up, smelled you breath, has he heard you snowrring, husbands like and get used to these things, do you love his defects... My ex, wants to come back, and is too late, she looks older and worn out her ex told her, she to old for him, too much cellulite, she looks like a gelatine, small and an even breasts and he brough all of her past to her, so becareful, you might get lucky, but be careful you migh end up like many out there alone and unloved
good luck
2007-09-24 10:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by Mickey 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
let me try to explain something love never stay the same but it takes different shapes . maybe he looks to you as wife , sister , lover ,daughter & Friend all those sapes of relationshipes you keep loving without waiting you give your all you becaome a slave to your lover you love and forgive all the time . I wanted to ask you do you have children or not yet if yes then you will understand you love your little angels what ever they do they are your responsability? .... try to look at it from that point of view . if it comes to end you should both separate imidietly
2007-09-24 11:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by kharbouch 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it looks like you're going to have to be the one to leave. he's clearly not getting the hint and seems set on not leaving. make sure you have a safe place for you and your son and just leave one day when he's not there. if you've already discussed how you feel and what you want to happen, it won't come from left field. I'm sorry for what your going through...hope it gets better
blessings and luck to you and your sons future:)
2007-09-24 10:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by bishop 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If he won't leave, why don't you? He has a right to try to make it work, but you also have a right to leave if that's what you want to do. It may take some planning, but if you feel you are going to be happier on your own, then take the necessary steps to do that.
2007-09-24 10:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
pack your things and MOVE OUT... take your child to a safe place. and seek counseling and an attorney asap... get a protective order now and get it in place NOW... if you have no family and no place to go and don't want to disrupt your child's normal routine then get the protective order on a early Monday morn when he is at work and have it served on him at work... then get the locks changed on all the doors and windows and if he comes by the house then call the police and have him arrested... have an alarm system installed as well... first and for most take all the money out of your accounts and put it into another account at a different bank. then he cant wipe you out of money...its time to get mean and very protective of your child.. have the judge order only supervised visits with the child as he will be mad enough to take him from you.
divorce under grounds of irreconcilable difference..... is the verdict....
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE... BE INDEPENDENT...
you owe it to your self and your child to feel safe and stay safe and be free...
heres to you and your child
cheers
Jo
ps email me and let me know how all went.
2007-09-24 10:27:27 · answer #11 · answered by josie d 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋