I broke it off with my ex fiancée about 5 months ago. This was after a tumultuous 3 years of long distance and up and downs. Part of the reason for the break up was that I found out that he had been unfaithful to me both physically and emotionally. He had also begun to pull away and stated that we were lacking a spark in the intimacy department.
During this time I've been doing my best to get over the heartache of my break up. A few weeks ago an old flame came back into the picture. We got together during one of the breakups between my ex and I. The chemistry was unbelievable between the two of us and I developed feelings for him (not love), but my ex came back into the picture and I made a choice to try and work things out with him. Thus breaking my old flames heart. My old flame has admitted to me that he still has feelings for me and that he would like more then just a friendship. What should I do? I still love my ex but it seems to be that it is really over this time a
2007-09-24 02:32:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
s he not longer call or answers my attempts to communicate. At the same time I don't want to hurt my old flame.
2007-09-24 02:34:03 · update #1
Ouch.......some of the answers are rough but to be honest I appreciate the brutal honesty. To defend myself I am not a retard or a silly school girl. I am just a human woman who has been burned in love and is seeking feedback from strangers. Sometimes feedback from stranger jolts a person take a look at reality instead of fantasy. I appreciate all the advise that I have received.
2007-09-24 03:13:50 · update #2
You don't seem to have anything to give to your "old flame" emotionally right now.. You are still in love with your ex...and clinging to another man right now would just be a needy and selfish act... Not that you are either one of these things, but really, you don't have anything to give... YOU are STILL GRIEVING the loss of your ex fiancee.....
When people break off a long-term relationship, they really need time to readjust to life and recover from their loss.
Please take time for YOU... and allow yourself to heal. There is nothing wrong with socializing, getting out with friends, or even some casual dates. But be honest with yourself... you are not prepared for another relationship, and won't be for quite some time.
You could do a Yahoo search on REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS for good information. and also try SURVIVING A BREAK UP or LIFE AFTER BREAKING UP.
You will find a lot of good advice and information about healing and moving on, if you do some searches.
I wish you only good things! take care.
2007-09-24 02:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Ex is just biding for time. I dont think he knows who or what he wants. But the fact still remains that he has cheated on you and told you that you lack a certian spark in the sexual area. Your Ex is playing games and you fell for it. I would just take time away from the old flame and get rid of the ex. Take some time to get your mind and your head rught. Your heart has nothing to do with this. You need to be able to make life changing decisions and the heart will jack you up everytime. Good luck.
2007-09-24 06:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a typical example that if a woman full around at early age she never forget the first flame.evening after she get merit she will not stop see her old flames. this is a proofing fact ,the university of Iowa and the university in England seed and profit.a woman is dissing by nature to love to persons equal, one as a lover and one as a provider. so i suggest to all the guys wen you get married to pick the cloths and, move fare away from the place where the wife grow and when to school, if you wants you marriage to continuous. never stay in the same place withe same people.if you do not move, then better not to get married .never live a wife Alon for long period .1 or 2 months. you macking a big mistake
2016-05-17 09:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad idea, if your ex was unfaithful then wat r the chances that he'll do it agen. Take a break frm all boys and clear your mind if you still feel u want your ex then all i can say to you is good luck, if you wanna try with your old flame then don't get to far into a relationship, take it slow. Or even better leave both of them and enjoy the single life for a while, U r sure to fine 'the one' for you sooner or later... Good luck! xxx
2007-09-24 02:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Just _ A _ Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all do respect, are you retarded? I'm sure you've seen soap operas with these same scenarios, and i bet you would be the one to tell the girl "DONT BE DUMB, DUMP THE JERK, and STICK with the good dude. Im a dude and even i can say that "once a cheater, always a cheater." The only reason why he actin right now, is cuz he probably found out you interested in somebody else, and he wants to stake his claim on you. You deserve better then that.
2007-09-24 02:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Yahoo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. Can't you see what's going on here? Your ex fiance only wants you when you have someone else. I can promise you that this will not last. You need to get rid of this guy and continue wiht your old flame. He sounds like a good, stable man. You do not need this drama that the other guy gives you! You say you have feelings that aren't love? Well, give it time and it will become love. Love isn't like instant pudding! You have to work at it a little, but do get rid of that jerk who cheated on you. Please! I beg of you!
2007-09-24 02:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it slow with him. But make a choice now that you don't want to get back together with the ex. There really isn't much there to build on anymore, he cheated on you and you've been broken up for 5 months. Take a chance on the flame, maybe he's what you've been needing all along!
2007-09-24 02:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your ex is a jerk off and you need to choose the old flame I mean he came back and he says there is still a flame . go for the good guy and dump the jerk ex. Hello ,he was unfaithfull and cheated on you what more do you need to convince you that the ex is not for you . Make the move on the old flame and stay there because he sounds like a good guy . good luck .
2007-09-24 02:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're full of crap and a confused mess.
You never go back. One chance per person per lifetime. If you had been interested in them enough to maintain a great relationship and vice versa, you wouldn't have broken up in the first place.
You need to move on and dump all this silly baggage you are carying around. You sound like a silly school girl.
2007-09-24 02:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋