When ever I'm upset about any given situation there's always some idiot who seems to think that pointing out that I have no control over the situation will make me feel better when in reality, having that fact pointed out only serves to increase my anger.
2007-09-24 02:21:15 · 12 answers · asked by tas211 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
In my case I am not talking about the male female relationship. In my case I'm talking about a woman to woman relationship.
2007-09-24 03:08:56 · update #1
By the way, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus is a bunch of junk....they guy who wrote it is now DIVORCED.
2007-09-24 03:09:57 · update #2
That's a good question. I feel exactly the same way when I'm in that situation. I guess they think that we'll somehow feel better if they tell us that it's pointless to get upset about something that's outside our control. If anything, though, it usually makes me feel worse.
2007-09-24 02:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by tangerine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you that you have done your best and that if anything, whatever you are going through may serve to make you smarter or stronger when you approach a similar situation either in your life or the life of another during your lifetime!
You must be careful not to expect others sometimes to be able to comfort you. You should not expect them to be comforting at all times. Humans are flawed. Your anger over their comments, although it is yours, may be damaging to your health. Try to see people as attempting to do their best all the time. Expect that many won't know what to do.
Let them be what they are, and consider that if you do get that something special from someone that really does comfort you, you are damn lucky, and you should put that friend in some special place in your heart, and tell that friend what a wonderful thing they did for you when that comforting thought came from them to you!
Let's encourge each other to increase the niceness we have to offer!
Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine
2007-09-24 09:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do that to me and that fact I have no control over the situation does make it worse- I don't need to be reminded! However, I have come to learn, if I really can't control a situation then I need to work on how I react to the situation. So far...... well I'm still working on how I react to situations I can't control. If I can do something about the situation and someone tells me I have no control over it, I tell them "I believe I do". I'm glad I don't get upset very often!!!! lol Best of Luck!!!
2007-09-24 09:35:04 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, people are just trying to make you feel better! It is human nature to try and fix things, and as you pointed out, sometimes stuff can't be fixed!
Many years ago I learned a prayer (no I am not really religious, it just made sense!) and decided it was the greatest piece of advice ever....
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference."
I tell myself this when ever I come up against a problem, then I decide if I can change it and if I can't I try to weather it instead and relax.... after all, I ain't superhuman and neither is anyone else.
2007-09-24 09:34:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you female? I'm guessing you are.
Here's a simple fact for both men and women because they are both to blame for not picking up on it.
Women, Men are reasoning creatures.. and we only talk to other people about a problem if we are looking for input. So if you speak to us about a problem, we ASSUME you want us to try and figure it out for you.
Men, Women just want to talk about the problem. They already know what they are going to do and don't need or want your input.. they just want you to EMPATHIZE with them.. that's it.
So, your problem isn't the just the man's fault or just your fault... it's a difference of sex... we do just think differently on some issues... and you have to make sure and talk to each other about these differences or you will just piss each other off.
Edit: Too bad you gave me a thumbs down and won't read this!! There are more reasons to get a divorce than lack of communication.. or perhaps he couldn't follow his own advice... either way doesn't matter.. his/her faults don't make the ideals wrong.
2007-09-24 09:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anger is an emotion that you have to work through on your own sometimes. Some people need time alone and really don't appreciate advice or commentary from others (especially when it isn't asked for!) when they are upset. (I'm one of those, so I think I understand what you are saying here.)
2007-09-24 09:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its true, u have no control over it, which really sucks. It's nerve wrecking to me too!!! I guess people feel that thats the best way to look at the situation
2007-09-24 09:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by acaia20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes but not all the time... those idiots are correct... because, there is no way for you to feel upset if you are in control of the situation...
2007-09-24 09:32:40 · answer #8 · answered by joules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to comfort people in the way they would want to be comforted. Since we are all different , it's a hit or miss thing.
Try to focus on the intent -- to comfort you. Knowing they care enough to try can be a comfort.
2007-09-24 09:29:37 · answer #9 · answered by Karrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have utmost control of every situation your a part of. Learn from whatever mistake you made, and never ever make it again. Smoke a blunt, go to a strip joint..RELAX
2007-09-24 09:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by tweakk 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋