Is this normal?

Question

After my husbands' affair I am so full of rage. I want him and his whore to hurt as much as they hurt me. I've even dreamt I killed them. Is this normal? Thanks

Let me add that I would NEVER act out these dreams. I call her that because that is what she is. She knew he was married. She came to my house to measure the windows for the her babys room. She only goes for married men.

Let me also add taht this woman has harrased me to the point of me changing my number. She blames me for me ruining her life and him leaving her and the baby. That if me and our kids would disappear, he would go back to her and her life would be perfect.

Answer 1

um its normal to feel angry and hurt, but if u forgave your husband then you should seek a pyschologist if you're thinking about this type of thing...

Answer 2

It's totally normal to feel this angry and to have that anger influence your dreams. Knowing that you would never act on it makes it a healthier anger BUT if you find that this anger gets in the way of your normal life (you don't want to go out with your friends because you can't stop thinking about the affair, you can't eat because you're angry, etc) then it's time to do something about it. If meditation and other self-directed stress management works for you, try that route. Consider seeing a psychologist, or even just talking to a trusted friend about it (not someone who will just agree with what you say, but someone who can talk through things with you). Keep a journal if writing helps you get feelings onto paper. If you like to exercise, go for a quick run when the anger gets to you (especially first thing in the morning after one of those dreams!).

The main point of my advice here is that you should acknowledge that rage and don't be afraid to feel it, but don't let it change who you are. You have to deal with it, which can take a really long time and be extremely painful. If you spend more time envisioning ways for your husband and that woman to meet violent ends than you spend picking out clothes in the morning, then it's a problem.

I hope this helps!

Answer 3

Yeah it is, the thing is you dont go through with it, because he's not worth it. Your heart will heal eventually. I felt the same way after my husband told me he cheated on me. When we had sex, I wondered did he do this to her, did he do that to her. I wanted to kill him. It didnt even matter to me about the other woman because I was married to him.

When the rain has settled, your final question will be can I live with this? I couldnt, I had to move on. I cheated on him, thinking that I would tell him and his bloated *** ego would explode because he always telling people how I would never go behind his back. It didnt make me feel better. It made me feel worse.

So pray, ask for strength you're going to need it. Decide what you can and cant deal with and if you still are in love with him, decide what will happen from there. Good luck and God Bless

Answer 4

People respond to pain differently. My advice (although maybe not too popular) is to move on. I mean while you are still feeling pain and rage they are most likely not even caring one bit about you.

You are allowing stupid people to effect you. The truth is you can't change the way things are but you can change yourself. I suggest you contact or find some good friends that can help you get through this tough time.

Answer 5

To want them to Pay for the pain they caused you is "Normal". Wanting to Kill them is a bit Harsh. You would only be hurting yourself more with those kind of thoughts. I have always believed what goes around comes around. They will both get theirs in the long run, so move on with your Life and be happy. Do not dwell on the past...Go Be Happy..

Answer 6

Yes - it is completely normal for you to be so very angry. The both of them just destroyed your life. What a bi*#h. Just don't let the anger eat you alive - because honey, they ALWAYS get back what they give. It will come back to them, believe me. Time will ease your pain so hold on and good luck. You are a better person.
I just read your update - why do you even want him back? I would let him go to her - they deserve each other.

Answer 7

absolutely normal, its not as if youre really plotting to kill him. What he did invalidates your relationship so the betrayal and hurt is very hard for you to accept, I would imagine. Honestly, though revenge fulfills some kind of side of you that is saying "make the bastard pay" but clearly and logically, what will happen? Is it gonna erase the affair? Someone once said, the best revenge is living well. Obviously, we both know the person that said that wasnt cheated on.

Answer 8

His whore?

Who are you to call this person a whore? You wont get much sympathy from many people with this type of attitude.

It would be interesting to find out the reason behind your husband having an "affair'. I suppose this is another case where you are 100% blameless & he is 100% at fault!

Answer 9

Yes but totally out of the question. The best way to get revenge is living well. Do things that make you happy and f your not sure what those things are then now is to find out. Good luck.

Answer 10

Yes your are angry and hurt. You loved him and he betrayed you, as long as you arent crazy enough to act out your dreams I would say its pretty normal. Hopefully you can cope with this and start having dreams about moving on with a better guy.