My Husband Hits Me, am I part to blame?

Question

My husband and I have gotten into several fights. I feel like I am to blame a little for when he hits me; I kinda of egg him on.
For instance, tonight we got in a fight, I can't remember who touched who first; I do however remember pushing him and then he hit me in my back really hard. Later he was standing there and his belt was unbuckled so I pulled it out of the loops and then he grabbed it from me and hit me with it. So am I the nut?? Am I to blame in this situation. I have even told him not to hit me and he says he doesn't care, he'll do it again...
After he hit me with the belt I got in the car and left but I only got about half way down the street before I turned around and tried to resolve, but he won't communicate when he is angry and it takes him long to calm down; I'm talking hours or even days... Can I please get some opinions?

Answer 1

Honestly, you are part to blame because you went back to a man who said he would hit you again. If you want to resolve things, you should start over the phone, where you will both be safe from harm. If you can't resolve it over the phone, it's time to call it quits.

Answer 2

Were either or both of you drinking? As a recovering alcoholic, it brings back some ugly memories between me and my ex-husband. It's a viscous cycle. He would go out and get drunk, come home pissed off about something and start beating on me. I wasn't strong enough to fight back but the next day he would feel guilty and I would twist the knife and make him feel even worse but I could get anything I wanted out of him. Sound a little sick? Trade a beating for getting what I want the next day? Are you nuts? I don't think so. I think you need to seek some help though. Your husband does too, but if he isn't willing you still need to for yourself. Your relationship is going nowhere the way it is now and it will just keep going on until you break the cycle. By even putting it out there and asking for help on this site shows that you know something isn't right.
You can start by setting up an appointment with your Dr. He or she can help you decide what steps to take next. You can't make your husband do anything but you can take care of yourself.

Answer 3

What in the name of Jesus is wrong with you? It doesn't matter what a woman do to provoke her husband, the man should never lay a hand on her. He is a coward, a cockroach, an insect, a sorry excuse for a man. Why would you even think that it is your fault? You need to walk out of that marriage at once. He is never going to change, in fact he is going to get worse. There isn't a single excuse for a man to lay a hand on his significant other. I don't know how your parents rise you, but is never ok to let a man hit a woman. If anything you should have him arrested. Get a divorce at once, staying with him will probably shorten your life span. There are many good men out there. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to find a man that will love you and care for you, and respect you, and support you in each and every way. I really hate to have to tell you things straight forward, but my concern is that down the road he might really hurt you. You don't deserve to be treated like that, you are worthy.

Answer 4

Your "husband", would deserve prison if in fact I believed in such a thing. He should be killed by our government for beating a woman and you should spend the rest of your life alone. I honestly believe there are people who should be eliminated from the gene pool, and the both of you qualify. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but America is suffering from a "dumbing down" of life by it's socially defective losers like the both of you that perpetuate ignorance and stupidity.

Answer 5

Do you enjoy being a punching bag? Most women wonder if 's their fault.Even if think you provoke him, You still should not be getting hit. Your a nut if you put up with any violence. People do not have a right to physically assault anyone else, period. Your going to get the crap beat out of you sometime and your a fool to put up with any of this treatment.

Answer 6

OMG You need to get out of this relationship. i was in an abusive relationship but I never let it get this far. It is not your fault at all. First it started with him hitting and breaking things and then pushing me and then hitting me. I even had a child with him. I kept going back to him because I was so in love and he said he was sorry and I believed him. One night my father called the cops on him and reported me being abused. The night my ex went to jail. He called the cops on me for def fending myself and they took him to jail becausee I had marks and he didn't and also becaus it was reported once already and even if I didn't want him to go to jail he had to. Any ways you need to get your family involved. get a place to stay. Call the cops and get his abuse on record. If you don't leave then you will end up dead. Please get out. Even if you love him. Trust me it only gets worst. Good luck

Answer 7

well it doesnt sound like its your fault. My parents used to have the same problem. My dad used to hit my mom when he was drunk or angry. she would always leave but end up going back and everything just repeated. Try and find out whats going on with him and if you cant resolve it then leave. because if you somehow feel sorry for what he's doing then you'll be stuck in that endless cycle. it happened to my mom and my sister.

Answer 8

First of all honey......he should NEVER hit you!
Why do you provoke him if you know it will end up in a physical confrontation. You obviously want to be with him coz you keep going back. I suggest counselling and maybe anger management for both of you!
Good luck and keep the peace!

Answer 9

A man who hits a woman is worthless.

You need to get out of this relationship and go for some kind of counselling regarding your own volatile behaviour.

Answer 10

first of all, your hubby has a history with spousal violence. he witnessed it or experienced it.. he as a man should be able to control himself but doesn't.. YOU should not tempt him into this.. it sounds to me like you want a good beating.. well you will get it some day if you keep it up.. My advice to you is leave him and get help for yourself.. you did not mention you loved him..It sounds like you want to be abused, and that is why you married him.. there is a link in this, that you may be looking for someone like a parent in your past, one that you loved but spanked you and you believed that this was love.. so when you want your husbeand to love you , you subconsciously are trying to do the same thing as what you experienced in the past. I read a book about this years ago and my memory is failing me.. but there is a subconscious need you are trying to meet and a good counselor can help.. but for now just move out and get help for yourself.. he doesn't like to be pushed like this and you do, so get out before something bad happens.