I really dislike gays...how can I change????

Question

I quite dislike all gays. At first I thought I was just being true to myself after so many bad incidents of childhood abuse and other things at the hands of particular gay persons.
But now I find that I have to really catch myself from saying terrible hateful things or acting biased or mean to gay people in school or at work.

I don't want to be a bigoted person. I don't want to be like this!!! I don't want to spread hate and evil, especially not to my children.
but I feel so disgusted and uncomfortable around gay people, looking at them on televison or even seeing pictures of someone who is openly gay (like celebs or something)

What can I do?

Answer 1

Tell your children that you believe that it's morally wrong to be gay. But that you shouldn't hate people, or want to hurt them because they're gay. You should try to teach your children to tolerate gays & lesbians, but they shouldn't have to appreciate the gay lifestyle.

Answer 2

What do you fear? Look at it calmly and rationally, and if possible with the help of a sensitive well trained therapist, to see what you fear.

Most pedophiles are actually straight men; some are straight women; a VERY few might be gay. But pedophilia is about abuse and control not about sexuality. Healthy adults, of ALL parts of the sexual orientation spectrum, do not abuse children.

I am sorry that as a child or young adult you were abused; I wish you well, and applaud your desire to 1) heal more the harm done you and 2) separate those past incidents and those sick individuals from affecting your ability to respond to people in your current life.

Good luck and blessings.

Answer 3

I've never been fond of alot of things in the american government/society in general. Like the fact that Bush is a stupid prick that makes America look even worse than it already is, or that our government is so shady it hides everything we have a right to know about war...(different unrelated story...) But one thing that really annoys me, is the fact that even though we have a constitution that states all people are created equal and that we have freedom of beliefs, religion and etc., homosexual marriage is banned. I have tons of reasons why it should be allowed but to spare you the eyeful of words, I'll reduce it down to the basic stuff.
Religion-
It's the most common reason against homosexuality. People believe that it's a sin, that God hates that, or that matrimony is between a man and a woman. Which is all stuff that my religion. (Raised a Christian,) believe. I've never liked church and always questioned alot of things about it, but I know well enough that the 10 commandments, (Sorry if this is against anything you were taught to believe, because I know there are tons of other religions and creeds that have completely different reasons for banning homosexuality) Never say anything about homosexuality. They state that you shall not covet your neighbors wife, or commit adultry. And even if they did fall under the category of a sin, I also know that God forgives people for the sins and loves everyone anyway. And as for matrimony, well they did mention in the bible it's supposed to be between a man and a woman, but again, different beliefs.
State and Law-
have absolutly nothing to do with religion, except state that everyone has the right to believe what they want to believe. In the words of Supreme Court Justice Harry A. Blackmun, A government cannot be premised on the belief that all persons are created equal when it asserts that God prefers some." Which in simpler terms means that by law, religion can't be the reason to make a law or ammendment against it.
Rights-
Some people may have nothing against gays, lesbians, transgenders or bisexuals, but when they are presented with the fact of a gay couple getting married they feel at unease, and say it doesn't seem right, or that they don't want homosexuals to have the same rights as heterosexual married couples. Why not? Is it fair that a gay couple with adopted children would have to constantly worry that they would stay safe because they insurance doesn't cover them, due to the fact that they are in love and trying to raise a family? I don't think so, I believe that everyone, despite sexuality, race, creed, etc, deserves to actually be free in the land of the free. Any way, its not like if gay marriage was legalized, that they would harm the heterosexual community. Gays, lesbians and transgender people are just like anyone else but with different tastes in gender. There are way more harmful things to a marriage here in the U S of A, like drugs, cheating and divorces between heterosexuals that are worse than two people of the same gender who love each other getting married and actually enjoying a marriage. I dont think that it is logical or normal to believe that a 52 hour marriage with someone you didn't even love in the first place is more right than 2 people of the same gender getting married and would actually use marriage the way it's intended for. Love.
So now after this long debate on my opinions I guess the real reason for this journal is that I signed a petition called millionformarriage, and you don't have to, but if you feel how I feel on this predicament, it would be awesome if you signed it! X3 [link]
I'm not trying to advertise, I just really think this an amazing worthwhile cause, and it'd be awesome if the petition could reach the million signatures
soooo I tried to keep it as short as I could, but as you can tell, I'm very passionate about things that I stand for and this is the top one on my list! Soooo, sorry for the long rantish journal

Answer 4

Well, I guess there is a diffrence between bigoted and havign an opposing view point.

But that depends on if it is a peopls or a topic. If you are against stem cell reasearch then you are not a bigot but if you are against blacks then you are.

So do not let the poster above me confuse you.

Just think of it like this if you cannot stop hating you. The gay person you see is totally diffrent from the ones who hurt you. And if you still hate them then do the Christian thing and realize that it is Gods place to judge them.

Answer 5

How about stop being so close minded and actually talk to some gay/lesbian people. Their no different than you and I, and I actually think gay men make the best friends. Once you throw away your judgments and get to know people as individuals your hate will start to diminish...

Answer 6

So gay people ruined your life? Do you have proofs that these people that ruined your life were gay.

Remember, just because those that ruined your life doesn't mean the rest of the world, this includes homosexuals should pay the price.

So, maybe some respect should start off. Treat them like the people they are.

Answer 7

You need to seek counseling. There are some unresolved issues from your past that can help you bridge the conflict you're having between treating ppl fairly and your own emotional response to gay persons. To you gays represent pain from your childhood. You need help to sort that out.

Answer 8

Maybe let them know that it's just wrong period and not more than a perverted choice. Maybe teach them the difference between right and wrong, Maybe explain that it is a choice and not a natural thing.
Maybe don't introduce your children to the gay life style at all! When they finally do come across it on their own you make a nasty face and do the raspberry.
Don't make a big deal of it just laugh at it like it should be laughed at.
Genetically, Every person born wants something to do with the opposite sex. The only way "Gays" can breed other "Gays" is to induct from hetero sexual.
Make it look as stupid as it is. Tell it like it is. It's a freak thing for freaks. Those that didn't get enough attention during their childhood years when reaching the teens will say something like, "I bet you will look at me now!" That's where queers come from. A lack of attention from their parents.
NOW they are gonna get attention,, Eh?

Answer 9

I'd usually go with something beyond tolerance, but King James is right: You don't have to be a bigot if you oppose it. Having a different viewpoint does not make you a bigot in itself: It's all in how you express yourself, and your true viewpoints.

What if one of your children ends up becoming gay? You wouldn't disown them now, would you? You would likely tolerate it as something that you don't necessarily agree with, but that you can accept as a part of them, and not value them on that trait.

I think when the time comes: Describe the trait neutrally to your children. Tell them what it means, and simply say that you don't agree. That should be enough if you aren't questioned on it again.

I'd personally advocate that you seek densensitization counseling, but everyone knows it takes much time for a trait such as this go away. Sometimes you can't, but you can always express your viewpoint with tact and respect.

No pepe: Oppositon and hatred are not the same thing. That's not dependent on subject

I oppose the war in Iraq, I don't like bush, but guess what? I love the Military, and am partriotic.

Answer 10

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