I am so scared!!!! Please help!?

Question

I am 36 weeks pregnant, and I will be having my baby soon, the doctor said he might induce me next week because there is too much amniotic fluid. I am terrified of giving birth, I am so scared of the pain and I don't want to have an epidural. I know every labor is different but can someone give me an idea of how labor feels? Also I feel so emotional all the time, Im feeling a little down, I was on anti-depressants before my pregnancy, do you think these are normal feelings right now? Because I feel down now, could this mean I may get really bad baby blues?? Please help me with all these questions, I would sooooooooo appreciate it. Thank you

Answer 1

With you being off your meds right now I am glad your watching yourself with your moods. That is great infact. Your taking good care of yourself. And during the last trimester many women feel baby blues or just emotional. So, to worry a little is fine and normal. But try to relax and write your feeling down to keep them in check.
I have read in my text books this is a good thing for women with the blues. And for women that are on meds for depression prenatal.
If things become more stressed for you remember you can call your doctor at anytime of the day or night to find a good answer for whatever your feeling at the time. This is why he or she is your doctor. They are there for you and your baby.

As for a Epidural...you do not have to have one. But it is nice knowing you can have that or any other option of drugs.
If you do not want it do not let others scare you into it.
(For me I had a Epidural with my 3rd son. Just because I did not like the way I felt after I had other drugs with the first 2.)

On how labor feels/pains.
It normally starts off pretty slow. You may not even notice the first signs. You may find you have a burst of energy and have your tummy tighten a little more then normal and more often. You may notice you have to have a bowel movement, then go in to the restroom and well nothing....that can be so bothersome. I have been told by many ladies that the day they went into labor this happen to them. and when I thought about it...it happen to me with 2 of my 3.........Those are just some small signs of the beginning of labor.
Pains can feel like a wave. When you relax with a contraction you can feel your uterus tighten. And if you do not relax the rest of your body the pain can become more extreme. The brain will tell you your in more pain then you are when you tighten the rest of your body. That is why they teach you to breathe.
Take the time now to learn to deep breathe and relax your body. Taking a bath helps you learn your body movement while your relaxed. So, after your baths are done this week write down how your arms felt and so on with other body parts....then at the end of this week practice making your body relax the same way in bed. Visualize it.

Answer 2

Best to talk to your doctor about your medication needs.
I am glad you are upfront and open to express your feelings.
Please don't be so scared, Your own fear can make you experience more pain than necessary.
Being pregnant can cause you to have mood changes. Hang in there hon. Get yourself out for fresh air and walks to keep your spirits up.
I had two very large babies And I surrived. Yes labor is a pain very different and powerful than other pain. Embrace the pain....let it flow....in a way you need to sort of hypnotize yourself and be willing to let the pain peak. If you fight the pain it will take longer. I also recommend to visualize what it happening. I did that and both babys came quickly.
With my first child I had a epidural block. And after not having one with my second child and I wish I hadn't had one with the first child.

Once you go through the transitial phase it is all much easier after that. Once past that and getting close to pushing the pressure is intense and you don't feel all that much. It is an incredable feeling to feel that baby move down and then the final push which the baby slips out. It is the most amazing thing ever experienced. I would never miss out on it again.

You are about to become one with creation. It is a holy place to be with that new life in your arms. You will know love like you have never known it.

Hang in there hon

Answer 3

Ok take a big breath and count to 10.
Now .... yes everything you have said is normal. I was totally panicked before I had my first child, I didnt want epidural, would I cope, etc, etc. I ended up with an epidural in my 16th hour of a 17hr labour. I couldn't take the gas, and nothing else seemed ot make me feel better. When I had my second child as soon as I got to hospital I asked for an epidural and I can honestly say it was such a peaceful beautiful experience. I was well rested and must say I remember it more fondly then my first exhaustive experience.

Answer 4

Honey i hear ya, but don't worry. If you refuse the epidural you can be sure that there will be a lot of pain. Everyone is different so who knows how long your labour will be. I did'nt have an epidural and was induced and it hurt quite a bit more than a natural delivery. Please don't be afraid to accept the epidural, as it is relatively safe and you will be a lot more comfortable. After your precious bundle is in your arms though you really do forget about what you just passed. Good luck sweetie.:)

Answer 5

If you've had Lamaze or something similar, you should be fine. You can't NOT give birth.

It's kind of like riding the roller coaster. You get to the top and you can't turn back. It's scary and yet millions of women have more than one. lol. You can do this.

As for how it feels. Hmmm. This is my experience with my three birth. No epidurals, one with pitocine augmentation, one started with prastaglanin gel and one all on his own.

Starts with feeling contractions, like the Braxton-Hicks but they keep coming and you can just tell its more serious. I had back labor with one and felt best on all fours like a dog. I also liked moving around and being in the water helped the most. Should've had a water birth. It got more and more serious. The pit really intensifies everything. The contractions are harder and faster. They keep progressing harder and longer. I woundn't say it serious pain-pain, more like crampy, pressure pain.

Until transition labor. Then it's really bad and kind of crazy. My body was pushing and I had no control to stop it. I threw up the first time and got goose bumps everytime. The good news about transition labor is that it's the shortest phase and it means you're almost done. Breathe through it. Rest in between contrations. My transition phases lasted between 5 and 15 minutes -- but it felt longer.

Now I was always told the pushing phase brought relief, but not with my first. It hurt to push. It hurt not to push. Your first is more painful (sorry), but again, you can do it. Listen to the labor nurse (she will be a great friend for you). Breathe. Push. No push like you're pooping (sorry, it's true). Be sure to breathe. Push more. Breathe. Push. You can do it. This phase for me lasted from 25 mins for the first, to like 4 mins for my third.

If you can, try to get a birth doula. I had one with my last and it made such a difference. She was awesome! They often have programs that let every woman have a doula even if she can't afford it. Here's a link: http://www.dona.org/

You can do this. Your body was designed to give birth. Any pain you feel, will disappear, what's the longest they can keep you in hard labor? Like 24-36 hours. You can do that for your child. Holding your baby is the greatest reward ever. And if you end up getting an epidural, so what? I didn't get one single medal for my births. (to tell the truth, I was more scared of getting an epidrual in my spine, than I was of any pain). The goal of birthing is a healthy baby.

However, you're feeling down is something you NEED to take care of. Call you doctor Monday morning and let him know what is going on. Make sure he knows you have a history of depression. I got post partum depression with all my babies and actually had to have antidepressants during my last pregnancy. Make sure someone keeps an eye out for signs of post partum depression with you. It's really important to take care of yourself when you're a mom.

You will be fine. The baby will be fine. Breathe. Say that over and over.

Congratulations.

Answer 6

Yes if you are depressed during pregnancy it can be a sign or an indication that post partum depression can be bad - talk top your doctor there are safe to take anti depressants while you are pregnant and while you breastfeed.

labor feels like a really bad period - then the cramps get worse and worse..if you stay calm, and move around alot you can manage the pain - if you have a very low threshold for pain - at least take meds available to help you cope

Answer 7

Hi Flora!!!

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so emotional and so scared!!!

But yes it is very normal, especially if it is your first baby to be born. Although a lot of thoughts cross our mind when we are about to give birth, most of it is fear of pain.

Everybody is afraid of pain, so that is totally normal too!!! But one thing that makes this time a little better is....... if you pray, and have faith that everything is in GOD'S hands.

The more tense a mother to be is; the more dificult the time of having the baby willl be, not only for the mother, but also for the baby too!!! The family also gets affected and instead of being a beautiful happy and bless experience, it will turn negative for all.

I had two beautiful babies, but my mother, always told me that having a baby and the pain that comes with it is totally worth it!!! When you start thinking more about your baby's wellbeing, you will actually learn this.

Pray and try to calm yourself down as much as you can, things will be over sooner than you ever think!!!!

And if you consider that you would NOT want to harm the baby by being to stressed out, all of this things will help you on trying your best to overcome the fear of pain.

Look at it this way, you are not the first one that will be giving birth to a beautiful baby, and you will not be the last one.

Giving birth is normal, and that is what we women are supposed to do!!!! Remember to think about the baby first, once you do that you will definitely start feeling like a "MOM".

From the time that we concieve we are already mothers, we only need to learn a lot, and we all grow together with our children. And belive me this little "bundles of joy" teach us a lot!!!!

Please don't be so scare, you should be able to enjoy the birth of your baby. It is nothing "BAD" is what GOD designed us women and prepared us to do. Once you accept this; giving birth and being a mother will be the most wonderful expirience, for you as for your baby!!!!

Remember Flora, that you are the only MOM, your baby knows, you are finally going to see face to face the most important "little person" in your life!!!! REJOICE!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU; Have confidence in yourself and faith in GOD!!!

A.Z.

Answer 8

Hi I'm terrified of having a baby because of the pain too!!

chances are though, u should find someone professional or similar situation to talk to --even if its just another friend who's given birth before, they have (NO DOUBT) experienced the same fears even if they never told you that they did!!

Chances are you are stressed out, having a baby is BIG deal & its finally coming close to the reality date!! Friends of mine just had a baby last week so I saw them go through a similar amount of crazy thoughts just before he came!!

now they are just sleep deprived but overall good and less stressed because the baby is here & HAPPY because the baby is here.

Answer 9

You are fine. Alot of first time moms are scared. To be honest I was more scared with my second. When the time comes you will find the strength somewhere...everyone does. It feels like small cramps at first then they get more intense til the point that they seems to take your breath away. And once it is time to push you will be more than willing to. Everything will be fine. The adrenaline and excitement of seeing your baby will get you through it. If you need any thing they can give you medicine through your iv. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 10

well im no girl but ive heard plenty of stories and recountings. they go into labor saying they dont want an epidural they want a natural birth, but by the time the major pushing starts to go they want that sucker badly. from wat i have heard the women were glad to get it. thats about all i can say. oh and if you wait too long you cant get the epidural so make your decision fast.