can my violent boyfriend stop being violent
2007-09-21 19:21:26 · 8 answers · asked by tess 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
About as much as a baby can stop himself from crying .
He has issues , and either his chemistry is out of wack or a history of abuse has left him traumatized .
Stopping the violence is rare and usually only abates after the girl is maimed , beaten , dead or set on fire .
Get out now before his behavior gets him to prison for crippling you .
You can Not save him nor lighten his attitude .
If he is hostile , your mere presence will often aggravate it because you have to behave Exactly how He wants or else he will need to beat you into compliance .
Does getting beaten really inspire you ?
It is tragic but true ,
Sometimes people have brain damage that renders them mental veggies that explode and you being in the line of fire solves nothing , helps nothing .
>
2007-09-21 19:47:20 · answer #1 · answered by kate 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All I can do is tell you my story.
I was married at a young age and did not see the warning signs. My husband (now ex-husband) always talked bad about his mother and said she would make up stories about him hitting her. Well, I soon found out that she did not make these stories up. He did not grow up in a bad home where there was violence. I really liked them. At first it was mental abuse. You don't realise that is it happening but all of a sudden you question everything you do. Then, the punching, kicking, throwing things and choking began. At first he would appologize right away and cry about it. After 4 years, I was his scape goat. He blamed me for him not paying the bills (when I didnt even have access to the checking account) and I would overhear him on the phone puting me down and making comments that were not true. I even caught him chatting to some woman online about how horrible I was. And then, he just stopped apologizing all together and said that I was the reason for the way he acted. If I didnt make him so mad, it wouldnt happen. Sober or drunk, it was always the same. I filled for divorce. He has moved away and remarried (with a child). I hope he has changed, but I dont know. I really hope that this helps. If there is a way for a man/woman to change their violent ways, they need to seek councling and fully believe they need it. My husband was made to go to anger management classes because I turned him in. He thought the classes were a joke. I also believe if this person loves you, they will seek help on their own and take a break from the relationship. If it was meant to be, you can rekindle after he has changed. I don't think I could trust someone that has hurt me.
2007-09-21 19:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by nicole s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can follow these steps first
get a very big rock or base ball bat, then
no in all seriosness you cant you ahve to leave him for you saftey I know it is hard and I know you think he loves you and I completly beleave you that he does but he jsut cant control himself, however that is a very big but, you desearve to be loved and too be safe, no matter how you feel beleave me you do your past has nothing to do with it and dont hink well you dont know me, I do you deaserve more!
I hope that you can find true happiness and that he gets the help he needs, ( and if he doesnt i hope someone takes my baseball bat advice )
best of luck
2007-09-21 19:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Unless you kill him first, or break up with him, you will end up dead. Usually in a violent relationship, if a woman stays, the violence just continues to escalate. Many women stay with these men because they think they are the exception, they think they can change a man. Then they go missing.
2007-09-21 19:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
he needs anger management classes. Some counties have those for the public...a judge might order those...or he can find out about them by calling around. But, he can only stop if HE wants to...and if HE takes the time to retrain...not if YOU want him to take those or YOU want him to change. In the meantime get away for your own safety.
2007-09-21 19:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get him into counselling if you want him to stop. tell him ur relationship will only work that way- and DO NOT forgive him wen he hits u then brings home jewlerry and flowers. He will then keep hitting you- and never- NEVER- think its ur fault.
tell ur mates, his mates anyone who can help- they will care
if he keeps abusing, he has to go
2007-09-21 19:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by potato was here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife helped me. It takes two and he has to meet you half way. A reality is what he needs to see or hear.
2007-09-21 20:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by tercentenary98 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unless you get karate lessons
2007-09-21 22:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by ..... 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋