I'm 39 no kids, she's 42 with 2 teenage kids.we've been together..(never married)..for almost 12 years.we broke up twice before but this time we really hurt each other bad. I agreed to let her buy me out of a house we bought 2 years ago and I moved out. I miss her and I want her back but she appears to avoid me..by saying she needs time to heel. I think their is another guy in the picture..what should I do? It's been 7 weeks since I moved out but we did sleep together 2 weeks ago..and it was beautiful but the next day she totally cut me off. I am now seeing a therapist now but.... I don' think I'll get her back....I really messed it up this time. I love her so much...any advice?
2007-09-21 18:44:44 · 11 answers · asked by RUCKUS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U need to go get pen and paper and evaluate the situation..
write down all the positive and the negative while u were together.. this will not work if u are not honest with ur self..
Then look at at it from her perspective..
and then way the odds..
but it does sound like she has moved on.. there doesn't necessary mean there is another man..
it just means she does not want u...
u have to except this..
God help me to except the things I can not change..
U can not change what has happened u can only change what is to be in the future..
sounds like she had a strong hold on u after all these years..
u may of even be addicted to her..
habits are hard to break..
Keep going to therapy.. u will see a light after many months, I did..
it just isn't sinking in right now.. but it will
good luck..
2007-09-21 18:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only does she need time to heal but so do you. This does not mean that you will never get back together with her. It is a good thing that you are seeing a therapist. First you need to address the issues that keep breaking you up and work through them, preferably with also, if you want a chance of a future. Once you work though the issues then you can look to a future with her.
Keep in mind there may not be a future, and if there is not one that tomorrow brings only potentail of what the future holds and go out there and get it, let go of the past. Look for the new and enjoy all the experiences life has to give you. Whenever one door closed another one opens.
2007-09-22 02:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop kicking yourself, stuff happens man. you're still a little bruised and trying to justify letting go or not. man up! the reality is that you are responsible for your own feelings. you've been moping brother and you cannot look for your ex to come and save you cause she's probably lost too.
you need to get out some and socialize. in those moments you'd normally be sitting on your butt alone, you're gonna hafta force yourself to go out and have a good time. and that will mean ALONE for a while. It doesn't make you a weird guy but it makes you a real human being trying to get your stride back in life. it's gonna be all right.
keep your chin up!
2007-09-22 01:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by Shell Answer Man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has two kids to raise by herself and you took money from her.Sorry but i wouldn't take you back just for that reason alone. Your a man and you are in a much better position to start over again. Did you really need that money that bad .
2007-09-22 02:08:55 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her time, and your self time to heal and see what the big picture is. If she is avoiding you sheis either really hurt or there is someone else. Either way pressuring will only push her futher away.
2007-09-22 01:49:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time if she was with you two weeks ago than there is something still there, she is just confused and needs time to sort it all out.
2007-09-22 01:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by cmore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need time yourself to get over your commitment issues. If she was the one made for you, spend this time apart working on yourself. Trust that was meant to be will be...and...know that if shes not the one made for you, hanging on, will hinder your meeting the one that was made for you. Good Luck!
2007-09-22 01:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try staying away and don't show her that you feel desperate... that is a very unattractive quality and women like a man that is in control...... act the same way she is acting towards you and maybe she will respond.... no woman wants a whining, sniveling man that is acting like a lost puppy
2007-09-22 01:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Crawl into a bottle, and remember nothing gets you over old p u s s y better than new p u s s y.
2007-09-22 02:23:36 · answer #9 · answered by Big Daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you really want her back. Sounds like starting over scares you most.
2007-09-22 01:54:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋