I really hate to ask this question but I just like to seek earnest opinions. I must admit I am a very paranoid person and it seems that what had happened back in 2002 to my 2nd ex-gf (and the last) might be happening now :
I have been seeing a gal since last November and for prior to July this year, she has been tremendously patient and tolerant with me despite my negative speculation towards her in the area of guys issue etc. Each and every time she will care to explain to me they mean nothing to her.
For the past 6 weeks she has been extremely busy weeks after weeks such as going for company family outing, going back hometown, attending church camp and thereafter trying to clear her work within 2 weeks with night overtimes so that she could go for 2 weeks holiday in Australia which started on 14th September.
Despite her hectic schedule (which is so rare since I know her), she still keep in touch with me (as both of us are from different country) via text messages.
2007-09-21 16:33:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She even called me while she was transiting at my country to Australia last Friday.
For the past 1 week she hasn't initiate texting to me for 1 whole week. I did on Wednesday but she didn't reply till I call her. I was pretty upset and she said she hasn't read the message but she has posted me a post card.
Both of my friends told me I should have let her enjoy her trip without disturbance.
My question is that : Am I too paranoid?
2007-09-21 16:34:21 · update #1
I have no reason to believe that she is just super busy. She's kept in touch w/you on a fairly regular basis so far even w/her extremely busy schedule. I would have NO reason whatsoever that she's just busy period. I'm sure IF there were any other problem/situation, she surely would be in touch & let you know. Just give her a chance & some breathing room. When we're all so busy, time just seems to fly by so quickly we actually loose track of the days & when we did what. Give her a chance, I'm sure this has been the case & you have absolutly NOTHING to worry about. You have time on your hands, thus it seems so long since you've heard from her. She on the other hand no doubt doesn't have enuf hrs. in the day to do all she has to do. Don't worry, I know everything is OK or you'd hear otherwise!
2007-09-21 16:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if u r paranoid or not... but u seem to be very insecured. It's pretty common , guys just want to be a part of everything the girl does. You want all her attention.
Every relation is based on trust... if she has to explain everything to u, this will cause frustration in her. She might not blow up now..... but when she does it will be bad for u. So chill and trust her. Let her enjoy holidays.... u r not the only priority in her life.
Also if she doesnt text doesnt mean she misses u. But at times we all wanna forget about the rest of the world and just enjoy a great holiday. So U R NOT PARANOID
2007-09-21 23:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by DU 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was the same way. Yes, you are too paranoid and are probably making her misearable. All you are saying to her, over and over again, is that you don't trust her and don't believe in her love for you. And worse, if you are accusing or insinuating that she is sleeping with anyone, you are saying she is a s.l.u.t. Men don't seem to realize how insulting that really is. It can ruin a relationship faster than anything else. Ask yourself why all your relationships end the same way. Then ask yourself what the common denominator in all of them was: it's YOU. Eventually they get tired of explaining it. I did. I realized that no matter how much I explained and reassured him IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE. He still accused me and insinuated and freaked out over nothing. Nothing helped. I'll tell you the same thing I told him: If you don't stop this, you're going to end up alone.
Get some counseling so you can try and build your self-esteem and work on your abandonement issues. Medication may make you less paranoid.
Good luck.
2007-09-21 23:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to make yourself and your girlfriend unhappy then you are doing all the right things! If not..loosen up! The only way you can know if she is still interested in you is if she keeps in touch with you,which she clearly does..but if your jealousy means that she has to chose between enjoying her life and keeping you satisfied that she is now enjoying it too much then she would be a fool to chose someone who is only going to be content with her doing so until he talks himself into doubting her all over again! As for the activities you find so suspicious..family outings, hometown visits and church camp are not what people do when they are looking to be unfaithful! if you care about her then be happy that she appears to care about you; be glad that she is enjoying her holiday and stop looking for reasons to be miserable..if there are any then you will find out about them all too soon anyway.
Failing this..find a new girlfriend who lives near you and upon whom you will be able to spy in person..you may not be found out after all.
2007-09-21 23:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by selina.evans 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too anxious bud! With you demanding response every time you do something, you will push her further and further away. Response to every action is a huge responsibility.
Give her some space - especially if she doesn't demand it often. Enjoy the best in your relationship. But - most important - find those things you can enjoy on your own.
Your life is only as fulfilling as you make it. A woman can be part of your happiness, but can't make you happy.
2007-09-21 23:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lets See..long distance relationship...negative experiences in the past...too busy a schedule....
Sounds like either you are viewing this relationship as more than she, you're being too pushy or she is just not that in to you. Take a step back and really evaluate yourself to see why you don't trust. Take time for yourself and look for a girl that is in your area.
2007-09-21 23:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by toodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are just a boyfriend right. Do you think you might want to make it to husband? If so, trust is a big issue in any relationship. If you do not trust her, end the relationship now, don't waste your's or her's time. Had a friend whose bf followed her everywhere. She married him and he was so controlling. This does not make for a very happy marriage.
P.S. Everybody needs some alone time.
2007-09-21 23:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My god man you better give her some breathing room or else she will get feed up with your paranoid state of mind. I want to warn you about women when we fall out of love that's it it's over. You my friend really need to get a grip on reality.
2007-09-22 00:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are so insecure then how can any relationship work? If someone wants to be with you then you have to have some trust. if you can not trust anyone then you need to work on whatever is causing you to be so insecure and deal with your problems.
2007-09-22 00:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by tami j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absence makes the heart grow fonder right? just give her some time and give her some trust!
2007-09-21 23:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋