How can I make him forget?

Question

my husband & i had bitter fites in the early marriage days ( an year ago) on trust issues. he was being friendly with people he used to have feelings for, but dint marry/ have an affair as they would not fit into his family( she was of different caste/ nationality). I wasnt comfortable with it, though he was open and frank in telling me all abt it, and also requesting me to forget past. I dint mind his past but was not comfortable with his friendship with them, as i thought he afterall dint chose them bcoz his parents dint want him to ( 2 such girls). Later on, after these fites, we finally came to the agreement that i shudnt worry if its just casual social contact, but he wont cross that line become kind of like close friends. Since them, I hardly am angry , and theres nothing that triggeres any anger in me, marriage has improved a lot. But he simply cant forget the fact that i was quarrelsome in the beginning. Now I can understand that a lot, but somehow it was my weakness,

I was possessivess- not like i like no girl being friends - just tehse few who share a past.. but these fites keep coming in our way of being happy. he seems to go off into some world every now and then, and some times asks if I would become that way again. Please advise. I try hard not to lose my cool when this past topic comes up- but its so painful. thats the only thing i seem to lack control of . I am/was and most probably will be unable to control my unhappiness if he gets close to thema again. and that makes me short tempered over all. pls help me on what I can do.

Answer 1

A spouse doesn't get to dictate who your friends are. Do him a favor and leave. You can't mold someone into who you think they should be.

Answer 2

If it's not a problem anymore, why does he keep asking you about it? Is he trying to find out how you'd feel if he was with them/her again? I guess I don't really understand but it does sound a little suspicious to me. If you NOT acting like that anymore doesn't prove anything to him then nothing is going to prove it to him.
And by the way, there was nothing wrong with you not wanting him to hang out with girls he had feelings for. When you get married, the vow you take is to "forsake all others". That means EVERYBODY. I'm not saying a guy can't have female friends but if the wife has a problem with it then it should end. And vice versa. Your wife or husband should be more important.

Answer 3

You have every right not to want him to have relationships with other women. He is disrespecting you, big time. He should stop this behavior. You are not weak, he is doing wrong by you. You are his wife and he shall have no girlfriends. Stand up for yourself. Don't let him walk all over you.