I know this is a strange question to be asking complete strangers but Im going to go for it.Ive been dating my boyfriend for only a few months. See we were friends for a month and then we decided to do the relationship deal, I relationship is wonderful and very loving, Its just since a few weeks after I met him I knew I wanted to marry him. And that hasnt changed.But for him he says he loves me and wants to marry me but he just isnt ready yet.I thought if you loved someone as much as he says he does then you would want to be married to them.And he is a marine and will deploy in March.And I moved and we are three hours apart.I just want to be with him all the time so by marrying him we will live together. He just doesnt see it my way, he says he just isnt ready. What should I think , or do? Should i say you have to marry me or you have to go? No I dont think thats right.But Im so anxious and just want to jump into it. What do you all think?
2007-09-21 16:13:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sure... if you want him to look the other way and run as fast as he can... then tell him marry you or else.... but even when you "think" you know you want to marry a person... it still takes time to get used to that.... and deploying isn't a good reason either... i made the mistake of getting married before getting deployed.... and sure enough less than 6mo after i got back we were divorced.... you should just take your time... and not rush him.... it may throw him off.... good luck and congrats on your relationship!
2007-09-21 16:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by chrysteena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 25 and on my third marriage, its a big commitment I was ready 3 years ago when I met my husband, but previous I wanted to be married to spend all the time in the world together but what do you do when you are sick of looking at each other 5 or 10 years down the road when you are saying to him that he is never home and you are sick of being alone? When you have to take care of everything by yourself and your husband is not there? Kids, with no break. Marriage is not a fairytale and doesnt bring people closer, it unites two people as one. After a few months are you ready to give up doing what you want to do, and being your own athority?only to have to answer to someone else? You have to have your heart and mind into this decision its serious, after paying $900. for my first divorce and $500. for my second, ive learned what love really is Patience
2007-09-21 18:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by deedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right, you should wait. You need to get to know each other a lot better, before you decide to commit to each other for life. A few months is not near enough time to make that very serious and important decision. You need to give it time, you need to ask each other a lot of questions. What are his values, interests and plans for the future. What are yours. How does he treat other people? Does he want to be partners or does he want to just go to work and leave everything else for you to do. Do you want children? Does he?
What are his political views, what are his spiritual values? What are yours. You don't just jump into marriage. You take your time and get to know each other. I'm talking 2 years at the least amount of time. Because you don't want to get married and then find out you don't really like each other. If you think you love him then take the time to really get to know each other. When you first meet someone you are only meeting their Representative. Many marriages don't last because people just jump in on their first feelings of attraction and then it doesn't work out.
2007-09-21 16:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a few months is rarely enough time to know for sure you want to commit the rest of your life to be with a person. don't push him, because if he gives in, you could end up unhappily married, or he might flee without taking the time to really find out if he wants to marry you. people hate to be pushed, and some people are not the marrying types.
also consider that he's deploying in march and that's probably weighing on his mind. a lot of people marry just because one is going overseas--and this doesn't always work out in the long run.
if he says he's not ready, he's not ready, and you can't make him ready. either you wait, or you move on.
2007-09-21 16:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by jealous elf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats bollox really - I'm CofE and my husband is Hindu and we've been together for 20 years. However - she may be getting untold pressure from her family though (do they even know about you?) They could be very strict - she could feel very pressurised and confused I guess. They may disown her if she stays with you and she could be feeling very frightened about what might happen if she doesn't marry a muslim guy, have a heart to heart with her and ask her about any fears she may have - I really hope you are able to work it out and I wish you good luck.
2016-05-20 07:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying somebody who isn't into it would be horrible. Two people have to be on the same page to start at least because there will be more differences.
2007-09-21 18:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by Red Phantom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be ready but he's not. It hasn't been that long. Give him a little more time.
2007-09-21 16:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you love him, you will wait until he is ready also. just because he isn't ready right now, this does not mean that he doesn't really love you.
2007-09-21 16:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are not ready for marriage dont do it! your marriage might brealk apart
2007-09-21 16:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by noob hustler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋