We have always been open about everything. We always made sure we went out one night a week, (time to ourselves). Took many vacations. We both work hard, and my husband and his Father own a well-known Construction company. Money isn't really the factor. Does anyone ever have enough? My husband got involved with drugs about 8 years ago,(his Father has always got him out of everything). He was put on probation, and then it was revoked. He had to do a 120 treatment program. Since then he doesn't want to work, be with his family, (he was always a family man), he wants sex when he wants it. Never like it use to be. I never thought that would be a problem in our marriage. I do all the maintance on our cars, as far as taking them to a mechanic, work all the time for a large pharmaciticual co., and he chooses to hand around his dad's farm house. I feel like my life is wasting away. I've been approached by a few men. Never thought about cheating either. Now I don't no?
2007-09-21 16:05:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Abby's answer is still the best: would you be better off without him than you are with him? Sounds like you are doing all the work in the relationship. Either he is using drugs again or he is depressed, or both. Give him an ultimatim: either he sees a therapist, or you leave. You should get into therapy too or find someone to see as a couple.
2007-09-21 16:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by Rainbow Connection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never say if your husband got off the drugs after his treatment program. Is he clean?
Often people experience such an intense "high" when on drugs that "normal" life after the fact seems boring. Your husband is a man in trouble and I hope he is continuing treatment and counseling. AlAnon might help you deal with this dramatic change in both your lives. I guess what I am saying is, explore all avenues that are available to you to ensure that your hubby isn't in need of more care. And, examine your own feelings about him since he started doing drugs 8 years ago. That is not easy to forgive.
And if it simply isn't going to work out, your life does not have to be over if your husband decides his is.
2007-09-21 23:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by huckleberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Narcotics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest co dependent meeting. It is free and the best help you can get any where in the world.
When ever one person in the family is sick, everyone is sick. Even if you leave him and you don't get help you will just fall in with another addict/alcoholic. Do your self and your children a favor and make that call.
As long as the addict is breathing, there is still hope for them. Don't let any one tell you there is no hope. People do recover and make good lives again. You can believe it is true. You going to co dependency meetings can also help your husband, you and your children. Give it all you can, don't give up too easily.
2007-09-21 23:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend that went into the military (Air Force) and got into drugs while in basic. She was booted out before AIT because of the drugs and was in and out of institutions until I lost track of her. Depending on the drugs, you may just as well get a divorce, get your 50% and continue your life. When she got out, she was so apathetic about life that she lived with her parents for years and just didn't care if she lived or died. I hope this is not your husband. BUT it sounds like it. If he has lost his ambition and will to live or whatever, then you just need to leave him with his Dad and move on. Good Luck but he needs mental help badly.
2007-09-22 01:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was a drug user also. I know what I am talking about.. we were married for 20 yrs. got divorced,,married another 5 and now going through it again... drugs eventually take away the need for sex,, relationships,, family,, etc.. the addict becomes totally focused on getting high... and nothing else matters to them.. I have been through all of this myself.. it never gets any better either.. sorry but it's true.. don't blame yourself, or think that you aren't doing something right.. just stop wasting time on a loser.. Good luck
2007-09-21 23:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by anetta m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not cheat on your husband...I repeat do not cheat you will never forgive yourself in the end....
It sounds like your husband is depressed....he may need to see a doctor for some help and that would be supervised for the medicine. If you love him help him.
2007-09-21 23:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by thats me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I generally support the males in this forum because they come under constant criticism from the majority female users ......but in this instance my advice is to give him the flick as soon as you can.
If he's into drugs at this age & at this stage of his life - then he has no chance of turning it fully about.
2007-09-21 23:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋