My boyfriend watches porn. Big deal right? Well for some reason it really bothers me. For a few reasons...
1. today I got into my car and noticed on the passengers seat he had left things he took out of his pocket, like his bank receipt, a receipt from getting gas and a "porn" picture he had printed at work.
2. He says we don't have sex much because he only likes sex when he's in the "want to rip off your clothes mood" and that his sex drive has just gone down. But I don't understand then- why he looks at porn almost every day & gets off(or at least it seems that way).
Does he have a problem? Or do I have the problem? I've never had a serious relationship where the guy was into a lot of porn once we got together (at least not that i was aware of- i know they looked at it sometimes.. just not ALL the time)
And it's not that he's downloading tons of porn movies to watch- he just gets pictures- but his 'hidden' folder on his pc on porn pictures has like 1100 in it.
2007-09-21 15:28:18 · 16 answers · asked by Amy Clark 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I posted the message here because we have been together for a few years and have two girls together- so even though we aren't married our relationship is much more serious than just "dating"..
2007-09-21 15:41:51 · update #1
i think its normal... i sometimes feel the same way too.
it bothers me as well. i feel like i am here, so y do you need that???
i understand where you are coming from. they will NEVER change. its normal for men to look at it too, for some reason they need it?!?!?!?!?
2007-09-21 15:39:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
2
2016-07-19 10:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never have a problem with porn unless it seems to be some kind of addiction. I think carrying around porn that you printed at work constitutes a slight problem. You are not happy with your sex life, thats problem number 2. He is looking at porn daily which wouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't carrying porn in his pocket and you were pleased with your sex life! Daily is a tad much even for women who are okay with porn. Having a file with 1100 pics is a little extreme as well. I think you really need to address this with him and tell him exactly what you told us. He might need some help. He's using porn to fill some hole, not as a slight diversion. If he doesn't take this seriously, you need to make some big decisions. This sounds like a rare case of addiction to me.
2007-09-21 15:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This forum is for MARRIED people problems. I'll give you a good answer from an experienced guy POV anyway. You need to dump this guy. There is NO future in this relationship. Porn can cause HUGE problems in a marriage. Any guy that has 1100 porn pictures but gives excuses for not wanting sex all that often has a screw loose or something. Is there a chance he is homosexual? Does he have ANY of that kind of porn? Either way, get this guy out of your life and find a man who will make a good father for your kids. It ain't this guy.
Kent in SD
Leaving out crucial info such as you have two kids is just inexplicable. The kids aren't important to you? How good of a father is this guy? Why won't he make a committment to his family? Dump him. He's a bum.
2007-09-21 15:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you do not have the problem! It sounds like he has an addiction. What he is doing is disrespectful to you, you are the only one he should be looking at like that. I believe that porn is a form of cheating. Like it says in Matthew 5:28, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart." And even for those who may not be Christians or follow the Bible, I feel this quote still applies to the concept of true love and respect. If you are hurting because of his actions, he should realize that and stop. If he can't do this and instead would rather continue looking at porn than stop hurting you, you need relationship counseling. It's a rough road, but If he won't agree to seek counseling you will just have to keep trying and keep communicating how you feel to him. Otherwise, your relationship is going to continue to suffer or you may just need to end it.
2007-09-21 16:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn can develop into an addiction. Sad but true. It's lust plain and simple he is lusting after other women and neglecting your feelings. You need to speak up about it. Ask him why he thinks its necessary to look at it? Ask him if he would want his children doing the things he looks at on the Internet? Ask him what he would do if his girls found the stuff he was looking at. There is a reason women should be modest and pure; its to keep men's eyes from roaming to much. In today's society it's so easy to look at and sample all the dishes offered but should we? My husband and I struggled with this a few years ago. We both ended up living by the saying you can look but don't touch. Well I can say that doesn't always work. God Bless
2007-09-21 16:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by renee70466 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not all guys are into porn.
If he's watching all the time,he has a problem.
It probably bothers you because he is fantasizing sex with the woman in the movie instead of with you.
Depending on what he watches,he may be wanting you to do the same things.
You might try talking to a sex therapist about your feelings and see if he may need therapy too.
2007-09-21 15:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by Ralph T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you, then you need to find out why it bothers you. If he is just your boyfriend, then I would say you could dump him and get another boyfriend unless you want to put up with it. If he likes looking at porn then he may need that to satisfy his needs. He also may not understand that bothers you. There has to be some common ground here. Tell him you don't like it, see what happens. You have to be ready to fill the gap in his sexuality. If you don't want to fill that gap then I would suggest you let him look at his porn. Porn is a personal, purely physical way to satisfy a need that some men have.
2007-09-21 15:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by foofoo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I would be some what paranoid, becuase he is your boyfriend and he is watching A LOT of porn. It is either he does not view you as being attractive or he is cheating on you. It is up to you to speak with him, he is your boyfriend BE OPEN! with him, speak your mind. Even though it might hurt his feelings. The truth of the matter is if you both want to be a GREAT couple than be open and speak to one another truthfully.
As mentioned before he might be 1) not attracted to you 2) cheating or anything else.
So please speak with him and figure out a motive for him to stop doing it, or even figure out what he is up to.
I hope I answered your question:)
2007-09-21 15:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband watches porn once in a blue he also has sex with me everyday. It used to bother me alot but not anymore it's better than him cheating on me or going to strip clubs I would never allow that to happen however I think your guy has serious issues he is addicted to porn and that's not good I would leave my husband if he ever became addicted like that
2007-09-21 16:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by Janice 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he has a problem..he's addicted sorta..i can understand why you are upset because he is your bf and he is spending time watching or looking at porn..if my bf did that i ould be pissed cause it seems like hes cheating on me with girls he cant have lol..i think porn is gross to tell you the truth
2007-09-21 15:34:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋