My husband is a good man but very interested in his computer games and playstations and things of that nature. He would rather sit at the computer all day that to spend time with me and our 4 and a half month old daughter. I feel bad just telling him not to play so much because he is in school to be a game designer. I feel lonely and have tried everything I can think of to get him to pay more attention to us. Im scared that our daughter will wind up thinking her grandfather is her daddy because hes the one that helps me with her the most because of her daddy being on the computer so much... what should i do??? Please help me!
2007-09-21 14:35:12 · 11 answers · asked by sheena0501 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh and Its not homework hes doing... its online games like guildwars and ffxi and things like that and i even got an ffxi account to try and play with him but that didnt work either
2007-09-21 14:43:25 · update #1
Back when there were no computers in any ones home and we only had that stupid black and white Atari pac-man game the most anyone could take playing that was about 2 hours then we went to the bars. Look at it this way at least you know where your husband is. Sounds like you are just starting out in your marriage believe me I know just how lonely you are but unfortunately it's something you will have to get use to,and you will. Those days are over when it was just you and him and he wanted to impress you,well he impressed you alright now his job is over he married you so now he feels he doesn't need to do all the little things he use to do he has you now. This is how a man things you probably don't agree but in time you will. About the baby, he can't play with the baby yet it's still to small wait until he can get on the floor with it and go horsey back riding that's when babies are fun not now not for a guy.Man are just little boys and love to play little boy games so just wait give it time he will come around.
2007-09-21 15:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how draining his work is you are right in feeling this way. You will detach from him if he doesn't stop (I am at that point now in my relationship for similar reasons) tell him this. You two girls should be the most important thing in his life! When he walks through the door he should have a smile on his face with open arms! Kisses and stuff like that. It is so easy to see to get counseling but the $$$ factor sucks! You need to talk get everything out. If he will not change then it is a problem he has and is being selfish. It would not be your fault! Good Luck!
2016-05-20 06:27:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid you are going to be dealing with this all your life. Esp while he is in school. He needs to set limits. He may have an addiction.
Once he is out of school I would throw everything in bucket and put it in storage. Then tell him to leave work at work and not bring it home with him.
Your main responsibility is to raise your daughter to love her father and respect him no matter what. Never say anything bad and always put a positive spin on what he is doing. Don't lie. Sh will learn on her own, by her own judgment what type of father she has. You must do the best to balance her life. If he has always done this, then to her it is normal. Don't make it abnormal. Just make sure she doesn't end up that way. Get her into outdoor team sports. Maybe he'll want to go to her game more than play his.
2007-09-21 15:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on strike. No cooking for him. No doing laundry etc until he can spend a reasonable amount of time paying attention to his family. Dont be too unreasonable or it wont work. He will still want to play his games.
A lot of men dont know what to do with a 4 month old by the way.
Ask him why you should spend all the time you do making his meals for him if he cant even give you a little attention back.
2007-09-21 14:50:44 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to keep giving him everything he needs, as he doesn't give a s*it and keep doing whatever pleases him. It is sad for you to wonder if your daughter may not recognize your husband as her father, but that can happen if the situation would not change.
It must be hard for you not to think about your husband spending quality time with you two, but please focus on yourself and your daughter. It's his loss not to be able to care about you two but himself. Embrace the time with your daughter and be a great mother for her who she can be proud of. She instinctively knows who cares about her most.
2007-09-21 15:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to prioritize, talk to him about how you feel- tell him that this just isn't good enough and he needs to spend more time with you because you're just not satisfied with the current arrangement. And he's going to need to change something.
2007-09-21 14:45:05 · answer #6 · answered by Katrina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and if that don't help turn off the computer.
2007-09-21 14:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe talk to him and set a time limit to his games but it might be his homework tough decision
2007-09-21 14:41:55 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daughter is young.... as she gets older, she will be more "fun" for him to hang out with. as angelina jolie said, she's a blob to him right now!!! it will get better.
as for you: have your dad watch the baby somewhere else. get naked.
****edit**** i think you need to help him see that life is fun--- not just all responsibility. i agree that communication is important, but he may need time to adjust to "adult" life.
2007-09-21 14:44:12 · answer #9 · answered by JennieM 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There's no tricks, you are going to have to talk to him.
2007-09-21 14:46:46 · answer #10 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋