About four monthes ago I found out that my husband cheated on me with the same girl for 2 years. I was sick when I found out. He said he told me because he relized that he had made a mistake. (whatever) Durung these past four months he has been calling her and she calling him. Then she started calling me and harassing me. When my husband found out he told her that it was over and to stop calling us and then he changed his phone number so I thought everything would go back how it was. Couple a weeks ago I looked on his phone and he had called her again I didn't say nothing to him just slapped him up side the head as hard as I could. He said he called to tell her good luck in life. (whatever).. Anyway I decided to forgive him in a way but I just can't stop thinking about what he did how do I get over it I want to be normal again. Four long months of pain can't take it anymore..
2007-09-21 14:01:28 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Michelle, I know the pain that you are feeling. I just want you to know this from a person that was dealt the same blow as you, but for 3 years. I forgave, pretended that I could forget. I couldn't seem to think I could do without this person in my life. I thought about moving on and I knew that I needed to move on, but the thought of the hurt, the fact of THEM, being together and so on. After, getting Trick and lied to, lied on, betrayed, used and just slung in the mud, I thought I could hang in there and he would change. He wasn't the only man that treated me wrong, but I felt the need to hold on to this so called ''relationship''. Honey, when he cheated with her more than once, that mean that there are some type of feeling there. When she called the house to mess with you, that was an act, because it was looking you in the face, so he had to pretend that he had to step up and honor you, after being the reason you were dishonored. The called to her again was not for what he said, the call was to carry on the relationship and to give her his new number. I hate it when they think you're stupid. Your husband have feeling for this woman, because he has gone as far as to hurt you repeatedly, allow her to disrespect you and still have contact with her. If he changed his number, told her to get lost, why did he need to tell her'' have a good life''? It is because he missed her. I don't like to say leave your mate, but if you always want another person in the middle of your marriage, then you stay there. He didn't even have enough respect to erase the number off his phone. You won't stop thinking about it, because it will always be her in you all life. I pray that he will change and for you to get on with your life, you will never be normal again.
2007-09-21 14:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. You are probally really stressed, sad, angry, and confused at this time. Wanting to work it out and trying to be strong by forgiving him (not forgetting) and restore your marriage. I can say I applaud him for coming clean with you, I think that does show for something. This contacting each other, him or her needs to end. I think this pain is consuming your whole life right now and he needs to understand that he will lose you if it continues. Do counseling. Set time together to date and reconnect with one another. Do take care of yourself first right now. It can take up to two years to start trusting him again. I do not know how to tell you to get over the heartache because that pain in your heart will never go away but it will fade in time.
2007-09-21 14:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear girl its never going to be normal again, and he will keep calling her. she has an agenda, that's to take him away from u, so she will try anything she can. if he is still calling her its not just to wish her good luck in life. personally once this happens u can't undo it. to heal u both need to do some hard work, u have to work together on this, he has to understand and make u understand that he understands what he did hurt u. he has to be completely honest with u, and when he says its over with mean it and really stop calling her. if he isn't stopping than he doesn't intend to. if he were sincere and wanted forgiveness why would he keep calling her?
2007-09-21 14:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices, you can leave or stay. If you're strong, tired of the bull and think you deserve better, you'll leave. If you think you deserve that, insecure, scared and weak, you'll stay. As long as you stay, you'll be miserable. You will never trust him, every time the phone rings or you see him on the phone you're going to think it's her. Your husband doesn't respect you and he thinks you're weak. Any time a woman goes back to her cheating mate, the mate doesn't respect her and the mate thinks she's weak. Your relationship will NEVER be normal again. If he stops cheating, you still will not trust him. Once the trust is gone in a relationship, it is pretty much over.
2007-09-21 15:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by KSR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talking about it is the best thing you can do, and never take revenge on him if tgat crossed your mind. That never works. What did he do with her? And what was the situation, were you two fighting ? was he drunk? Has this problem occured before? Take some time to think about what you want to say then go and talk it out. And keep talkong until you feel okay about it or well just drop him because no wife deserves to be cheated on.
2016-05-20 06:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by ranae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you get over the heartache? You get out of the relationship, fill your time and keep busy so you are not constantly thinking of it all, and someday in the future you will find he does not matter to you as much any more. If you are lucky enough to find someone else, then you will have that person to occupy your thoughts and have a brand new future in front of you. Good luck !!
2007-09-21 14:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by bluebell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will never go back to normal. He's still with you only because you didn't dump him yet and you keep forgiving him, and believing in his "reasons" to keep communicating with this girl. He doesn't respect you because you treat him as a young boy who makes mistakes and you just slap him.
2007-09-21 14:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by Winnie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know you wont like hearing this but a guy like that, or any cheater, you really need to leave. i COUGHT my husband cheat on me 3-4 weeks ago and im leaving him. guys can be pigs. once you meet a great guy you wont even care about that loser anymore cause the guy you will be with WILL be better. if we could dump boyfriends in the past we can surley dump loser husbands!
2007-09-21 14:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you leave him, thats how. If I ever found out that my wife cheated on me it would be over, for good. In my opinion there is no excuse for cheating. Cheating is one of the worst things you could ever do to someone. men and women who cheat have no buisness being married or in a relationship, they dont deserve it.
2007-09-21 14:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by rifflife68 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
you will never get over it at all. It stays in your heart, now by some chance he so happen to call her again dump him. life is to short to keep playing games with someone heart. p.s. ever thought about boxing! good luck.
2007-09-21 14:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by flowback master 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋