How can an asexual, lesbian woman, or a woman who has taken a vow of celibacy punish men who make sexual advances at her? This question is on behalf of all my sisters who simply want to walk or ride a bike to the store and back without men trying to recruit them for lewd and immoral acts. Men don't put up with men doing this to them, so why should women settle for less? Why do men have the luxury of being able to walk down the street and not be seen as a sex object?
2007-09-21 13:22:40 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Turg143, frank v, Geomatic7000, and lasuremartin, you didn't answer the question asked.
Ben H - Freedom of speech is in relation to an individual and a government. Interactions between individuals are not under the scope of government protection unless the government are the ones interfering.
Agent 47 - look up asexuality
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
uz - You sound like you are lacking confidence and cannot function without a man. How sad.
Jackal - your insult has been duly handled.
jocksnguis - Asexual women have no need for men or sexual arousal. This question is not about me.
dean - A woman who is not interested in men doesn't think men who lack sexual aggression are gay. Non-interested women simply want to be left alone and don't care why they get left alone. It makes no sense to see something as an advantage and then put someone down for providing that advantage.
2007-09-21 16:50:17 · update #1
What are you supposed to do when a man in a car keeps pulling up beside you and won't leave you alone and can't take "Leave me alone" as an answer? My friends have that problem and simply want to make examples of such men and get them to a point they won't do this to them again. My friends feel like like nothing and feel degraded when this happens to them. It makes them feel powerless.
Yes, why can men take going outside without being degraded in such a manner for granted. I'm not talking about silly stuff like wolf whistles and mere comments, or a question about lovers. I am referring to actual sexual harassment that involves stalking, following, making threats, bothering women in their front yards, and even groping.
2007-09-21 17:00:49 · update #2
Biology. Men are typically more sexually aggressive than women. It's a pain for those of us men who wouldn't mind being hit on by lots of women, but it's how things are. And believe me, it IS NOT a luxury for this society to expect a guy to always break the ice. Men don't put up with men hitting on them because many guys are homophobic. The more civil guys just say, "No thanks, I'm strait." The rednecks and jerks are the ones to blow up. That doesn't make it right.
As for punishing them, just be mean. I personally think that it would be best to just tell them upfront that you either don't do guys or don't do anyone, whatever the hypothetical case may be.
If a guy's being a jerk or too persistant, that's one thing, but if he's attracted to you and tries to show it in a sincere, tasteful way, even if it does get old, how would that be offensive?
I'm a strait guy and I get hit on alot by other men. The idea of having sex with a dude really nauseates me at the least, but I realize that they're just doing the trial and error thing like everyone else. Unless one actively advertises that they don't want to be hit on, (such as a white shirt with "gay" or "celibate" in big black letters, or an inverted triangle to be more realistic), then if you try to punish a guy for being attracted to you, you'll drive him off successfully.
You'll also rightly lose the respect of quite a few people.
2007-09-21 13:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Vincent 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I find this question deeply disturbing. Why would you want to punish men? And sex isn't a lewd or immoral act according to many people's beliefs.
If a man is attracted to you and you aren't interested. say so with a minimum of fuss. If he is just being a jerk, he will like upsetting you.
If you turn a guy down and he is persistent, creepy, a stalker, or harassing you, call the cops. They know the correct procedure to follow to get you legal protection.
Further info:
These are all illegal acts- If a man is acting in this manner, get his license plate, pull out your cellphone, and call the police. If he's on foot, get to a lighted area like a store, and call the police. Every time you see this or these men, call the police. Once you have notified the police, get a Court Order of Protection to have the man stay away from you. If he violates it, call the police.
P.S. It's a good idea for your friend not to mention to strangers that she is an "asexual, lesbian woman, or a woman who has taken a vow of celibacy". If she told the stalker this, hoping he'd just stay away, she was mistaken. Some men unfortunately either view this as an insult to them or a challenge.
2007-09-21 14:20:34 · answer #2 · answered by ThatGirl 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
First off, not everyone thinks like you do. Seeing as how you live in a country with freedom of speech and exchange of ideas it is perfectly lawful for a man to take an interest in a woman. I am not talking about harassment but I am speaking about the men who are descent and are interested in perusing a female.
How is this immoral or lewd? Have you forgotten the purpose of the human race? Or any race for that purpose? We are biologically hard-wired to reproduce and continue the prorogation of the species.
Women are seen as sex objects in some areas because this has been the norm for thousands of years. It is going to take a lot of hard work and effort for society to change this. It doesn't help your cause either if there are females that willingly further this stereotype for their own benefit... but... this is also their right in most free willed countries.
Thank God you weren't born into a country like Saudi Arabia.
2007-09-21 13:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by Ben H 5 · 5⤊ 3⤋
because the female body is a work of art.
for one, you and i and all other women (generally speaking) weren't tought to oggle and hoot and hollar at people when in sight. many men, were. i think that in order to change that, we'd have to reach the parents (mainly male).
further more, in many cultures, women respond to that. it's just a european way of thinking. where the man can do and say whatever he wants and the woman will respond to any attention she can attracked.
as for a punishment, if we could all walk around with tazers. i think ignoring it would be the best bet... for now
2007-09-21 13:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by estoerrific 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think i see your point...kinda...sorta...
but what does being asexual, lesbian or celibate have to do with it?
what i want to know is why can't i watch the sunrise alone on the beach? you can't do that, people tell me...you will get raped! why can't i walk my dog in the park after dark? you can't do that, you will get raped! why can't i go hiking alone on a mountain trail all by myself? you guessed it...
women do lack that freedom that men (in most cases!) can take for granted. a lone woman is a target, all too often.
but you lose me when you talk of "punishing men" who "hit on" a woman...jeez, just ignore them...put your nose in the air, and walk on...or tell them to buzz off! they might be foolish, or lack class, or maybe they are just feeling high-spirited...those are not crimes deserving punishment.
2007-09-21 14:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by waterlin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't put all men in that "trying to recruit them for lewd and immoral acts" category. i understand that there are ways of getting women's attention, but it's a damned if we do and damned if we don't. if some guy whistles at you, you think he is a pig. and if a guy doesn't whistle or do something to get your attention, you think he is gay. i am only speaking from my experiece. i've found that if you just ignore them, they will come to you. no offense to you, but i don't find women who ride bikes attractive. i believe it is a powerful independent point that you show to everyone watching as you drive by and i give you two thumbs up for that. and men are seen as sex objects. women are just more discreet about it than men.
2007-09-21 14:02:13 · answer #6 · answered by fergie 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Who needs to punish them? These types of men already think we are punishing them by not "giving it up." I am celibate. You should see the reactions I get fr. men who think that they are God's gift to women, who think that women owe them sex, or who think that I am playing with them. I just make it really clear that I am off limits in that regard and that they are to approach me in friendship, respect, and peace, or not at all. Thankfully, I also meet mature men who get this, and they respect and even admire my choice. And, btw, it may not happen on as large a scale, but some women do see and use men as sexual objects, too. What a world. :)
2007-09-21 13:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by Indi 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Thats a good question.
Cause I can tell its an honest question. and your honesty tells me alot about how women think. Thank you.
But besides that I dont have a ready answer for you.
1. Are you that pretty?
2. Do you wear provocative clothing or is the place you live in just like very hot all year through?
3. Do you live in an area with lots of mexicans? yes, well then if you would wear something like a veil like the maroccian women do, youd stil get hit on.
Difficult, difficult.
A-sexual pretty women usually need bastards to make them feel sexy and get aroused.
Sorry, but I see that all around me sadly.. I wish I had at least some love in my life.
2007-09-21 13:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by jocksnguis 1 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Really the best way is to ignore them. They're looking to get a rise out of you for their entertainment. They've never picked up a girl that way, they are being a nuisance and not worth your time.
2007-09-21 13:32:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
im 5ft7 and i weigh 251...and i dont dress provacatively....i see no reason too..i would look ridiculous.....men in my town rarely bother me..and if they do its just to drive by really fast and honk.
which is just retarded in my opinion...
when i was younger back in texas ( i was still big) men did hit on me...i didnt care to be flirted with so i just gave the guy in question a disinterested expressionless stare ( im good at those..think Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha) and those worked.
2007-09-21 23:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋