I'm writing a book that has a rape scene in it.... afraid what my family will think...?

Question

I plan on trying to get published in a couple of years and I like to write darker type books (drama, horror, etc.)
My mom is a devoted Christian, as is my grandma. My mother-in-law is a devoted Jehovah's Witness...
This one part in my book gets pretty graphic, I read it back and was even like, ugh.
But it has to happen in the book to make the bad guy come across the way I want him to be portrayed... if it doesn't happen then he's not as intimidating....
My family is really anxious to read my novel when I'm done. I don't know if I should leave it in and just hope they don't criticize, or take it out, or lessen it or what.
What would you do?

Answer 1

You shouldn't censor yourself because of the opinions of others. Even if those others are your family.

After you finish, tell those anxious family members the book contains a graphic rape scene. Let them know that it was crucial to the development of the plot, and that you have written it, so that people understand how terrible rape is. It is doubtful that your family will think you are condoning rape, just because your book contains a passage about it.

Despite your families religious leanings, I'm sure they already know about rape. It's something women know happens, and that's it not pleasant. Your mother and mother in-law may surprise you.

Give them the option though, of letting them read a special print where you eliminate the worst of the graphic detail, but not take out the whole scene.

Remember, to always be true to yourself. If you can't be true to yourself, then your writing will suffer.

Good luck on getting published!

Answer 2

That is your decision. Either you tell them or you can't let them read it. But they will read it when it comes out anyway unless you use a pen name. And then if you sell a book and suddenly have an income from it they will want to know the name. It's kind of a vicious cycle. The thing that concerns me is that when you read it back, even you were upset by it. Maybe that should tell you something. Maybe it is too graphic. Perhaps in your rewrite stage, you need to tone it down somewhat. It doesn't sound as though you are happy with it yourself. And that is the real issue here. Believe it or not, it is possible to write rape scenes without being overly graphic. Maybe you should take a look at it again. You do have time to think about it.

I must tell you I was faced with the same issue a while ago. And finally I decided to stick to my guns and tell my family the subject before they read it at the bookstore. Surprisingly, they weren't upset, they kind of shrugged it off. In fact, I believe Mom's comment was "that figures". And mine involved a good deal more than a rape. But the thing is, when I read mine back, it wasn't "like ugh" - I actually thought the scene was great and didn't change it.

The decision is up to you. Which means more to you - your book or your family's opinion of it? Pax - C

Answer 3

I say you should write the perspective that is easiest for you. If you're better at first, write in first, if you're better at third, write in third. This isn't the type of thing I'd normally read, but with enough effort, it could be very interesting. Kristen was surprisingly interested in the twenty-seven year old unsolved Roth case. She supposes it might have something to do with the fact that she's always had visions about it. That case has even worked its way into her dreams. Miss Hadley had had enough. She has to know who did it, and why. I was just sitting in the local coffee shop, reading the paper and sipping on the coffee that's gone cold long ago when it happened. My head began to pound, and I knew what was coming. Folding the news back up and grabbing my coffee, I quickly walked out and over to my nearby car. My fingers were shaking as I grabbed the keys from my pocket, and little black dots danced along my vision. I hope these help! Good luck and happy writing. BTW: The one in first person is something I edited up from an old short story that I wrote, so if you do choose to use it, please be so kind as to re-word it. Thank you so much.

Answer 4

Write it like you want it to be *written*. If you lessen the impact of the rape scene--just to appease a few people--then all you're going to do is cheat yourself out a really well-written novel.

Look at my books if you want a clear-cut example of how graphic and intense some of them can get.

I've gotten a few e-mails from people who were threatening me with lawsuits because of some more *controversial* material, others thought I openly embraced teenage sex and was pushing it onto other more...*sensitive* readers--and a few thought I was a terrorist member from Al-Qaeda because I had gone and blown up the United States in such a way, that it showed how little I cared about my country as a "patriotic American".

Bottom line: Unless the federal government steps in to stop me from publishing my books (which would violate my 1st Amendment rights to free speech), I don't worry about what other people think about my work.

If they can't handle fiction and the underlying topics and such penned within--then they are clearly in the wrong country.

And living in the wrong century.

Answer 5

They love you for you and that's all you have to worry about. They are your family so they should support you no matter what and shame on them if they don't. Just leave it in, the way it is. It's your book, your writing, you do what you feel is best for the book.
It's very thoughtful of you o worry about what they'll think though. It's just fiction, I wouldn't worry about them getting too mad. Just because your book has a rape scene doesn't mean your faith in God is any less. Hopefully you didn't use any "Christian" materials in the rape scene,. if you know what I mean. Which I doubt you did so I'm sure it will be fine. Don't worry.

Answer 6

I tend to avoid showing my family any of my writing, hehe. But if you want to show your family, leave it...it's your story and maybe they can give you feedback on the character. If they get upset about it, explain what you were trying to accomplish and ask for constructive criticism. Rape happens, unfortunately, and if it serves a purpose in the story rather than just being there for kicks or whatever, they might see that and give great comments. Good luck!

Answer 7

Oh wow, i have the same predicament. Instead it more of like a love scene etc. or something dark like a murder, and they're looking forward to reading it, i think i'm going to go through with it, and let them understand that things like this do happen, theres a underline moral, and even if it is a story, it makes the reader understand, etc. Good luck to you, if it's something important to you, than either your family will understand, or you'll find out otherwise.

Answer 8

I wrote and self-published a novel which contains several explicit sex scenes, so I can empathize with you since I entertained identical misgivings regarding the idea of my book's being read by those who knew me. However, realizing the materialization of my story was my dream, and I considered the eroticism essential to the telling of my tale so eventually abandoned my self-consciousness and published it as I had envisioned and written it. Most of my family members are also Christians while I am agnostic, so I was concerned that they would disown me for my writing. Nevertheless, I presented each of them with a copy of my novel, and, except for one sister whose philosophies somewhat mirror mine, the remainder of my relatives never read my novel! My advice to you, though, is to be true to yourself and to your vision; if the rape is necessary to the plot, then you must write it. Your family members surely will accept that such occurrences are prevalent in our society!

Answer 9

Rape is real. It is graphic and "ugh". If it makes your character complete then leave it in. As a writer, you are not insulting your mother's and grandmother's beliefs. You are writing a story. Also expect that if you are going to let them read it, you may hear criticism. Accept their opinions, and then defend yours. Good Luck!

Answer 10

first of all, their beliefs are not yours (at least you didn't indicate that). and writing from the imagination is not wrong. i say leave it in. they will have concerns and they may confront you, but if you plan on trying to publish and you really feel the scene is critical to plot/character development (not just salacious and graphic for its own sake), then you'll have to defend it. just imagine - if it gets published, and people read it, they will react to that scene in similar ways. you may have to get ready to defend it. just reassure your family and you may want to warn them beforehand. rape is different than sex, so you're not writing pornography. i say, leave it in and try to deal with it as a mature adult.