I am married with a 6 month old son and ever since my son was born my husband is never in the mood. He says it isnt me and that he is just tired and fed up with his job and everything but I always thought guys always wanted it and now it is like I want it way more than he does, I have tried just about everything to turn him on and nothing works. Is there something I dont know? Or is it normal to have sex twice a month after kids??? Please share some advice!!!
2007-09-21 12:16:55 · 20 answers · asked by A.J S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 60 and have been married 30 years, raised 2 sons and went through the same thing. When he says he's tired, hates his job, etc, these are all signs of the extra stress that doesn't make him feel sexy to himself anymore. Think about it. It takes 30 min to go anywhere because you've got to get the bag with diapers, formula, wipies, pacifier, and anything else that your baby thinks of as a gotta-have. The extra bills, the additional responsibility, the thought that it won't let up for another 18 years. He doesn't feel carefree (and sexual?) like he used to and realizes there's too much very serious stuff depending on him. That's why he's tired all the time and he likely resents his job because he knows it isn't "optional" anymore. Get him to lighten up.
2007-09-21 12:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofetn too much there is a psychological kill here where the husband becomes jelous of the new born. Now the baby gets all the attention and he feels left out and rejects.
I'm just taking a guess here, but I would say it's psychological perhaps and you probably need to spend some quite times together and fire your love back up. in to motion.
He should be a very proud father and love you for bringing your child into this world.
Talk with him and that normally helps.
2007-09-29 13:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened with me and my husband, and after a year, i finally told him, that he needed to leave work at work, and to come home to his FAMILY, not his alternate worksite, and he did look at me a little crazy, then i had to explain that yes i know he is stressed, but so am i, and i still come home cook, clean, laundry, run kids everywhere, and i think that he needs to realize that this marriage is suffering from him being unable to handel his stress effectively, but if he preferred to come home, and still pout because he had a rotten day, then i too was gonna start, and then who was gonna take care of everything, well he came home the next day the same way, i walked in the house, sat the baby down, got my robe and book, and went straight to the tub, and locked the door behind me, i cried horribly the whole time, and he finally came knocking on the door, and asked when dinner would be ready, i politely told him, i didnt know, as i had a bad bay, and i just wanted to pout, that since he was the man of the family, that he is to set the example for everyone, then i thought that he meant that i could do as i pleased as well!! He cooked dinner that night, and since then, (12 years ago), he has only come home once or twice pouting! and yes ma'am, we laugh about it today all the time, but it changed our lives tremendously!! we are still happily married, and i bet there are people in their 20's who wish they saw as much action as we do!!!
2007-09-21 19:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is very common. Sometimes men suddenly see women different once they give birth. Suddenly the wife and partner is a mother not a wife. Do you know what I mean?
If you have a luck of being able to put baby down a bit early one night, turn off the tv and have a heart to heart with hubby. Tell him how you feel. You are both experiencing something wonderful and very, very new here. And it is differnt for both of you. You have a very active role, and him...not so much so. Try to ensure he is involved in the parenting of the new little one. Talk together! Parent together! Understand that he may feel a little overwhelmed at what comes very natural to you.
Then - together - find time together. It is very important.
2007-09-28 21:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by tak 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, after having a child a guy can't rewire his thought to thinking of you as anything but "a mother" . Find a trusted baby sitter and go out with your husband. Go do whatever it is that you used to do before the baby came. It's fine for you to call and check on the baby while you are out but excuse yourself to use the bathroom to do so and don't mention anything about the baby when you return to the table. Don't be looking for sex the first few times you go out. Your objective is to get your husband thinking of you in the "before you became a mother mode". just relax, go see a movie go to dinner or what ever and let time do its thing.
2007-09-28 15:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex after kids can often be very different from sex before kids. However, if you have tried to talk to him and can't figure out why he isn't interested, maybe you should see a counselor. I don;t mean a sex therapist. I'm talking about a person who may be able to get him to open up and talk about his feelings. Not an easy thing for most men to do.
2007-09-21 19:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by lollybug102 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone, and don't "nag" him. Guys always want what they can't have! Wear clothes that show skin, but don't make it obvious about your intentions. Make sure he's aware when you are wearing something sexy-bend over, show him some cleavage; pretend that you're just "getting dressed" as you put on your sexy underwear in front of him. I love it when my wife goes shopping for clothes, and just "happens" to also end up in the lingerie dept., where she then asks my opinion about what to buy! Then of course she makes sure that I know when she's wearing it! Good luck..
2007-09-21 19:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Rick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal to have sex twice a month HELL NO!!! it all depends on what you are doing to make it happen( no details) this was happening to my sister she ask the samething.. I told her to get buck wild and nasty with her husband. always wear something sexy to bed and get out from them old nanny outfits and t-shirts. Now he is running home Call me up and ask me what got into my sister... i told him the truth he thank me. I just told him that she needs to make every night a booty call night with something different lose the weight and keep trying.. just take it.
2007-09-21 19:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by K_LOVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you have a baby try wearing sexy clothes at home and be romantic with him hae c andle light suppers this is an excellent question I hope some of my ideas might ork for you
2007-09-21 19:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by John W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
twice a month? uhhh not really normal go on a weekend alone just the two of you go to dinner and stay in a nice hotel talk about your situation and get romantic!! common you're a woman you know what to do!!!
2007-09-21 20:09:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋