I promise I won't tell a soul
2007-09-21 12:02:11 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I was a selfish little Catholic. When I was about eight, six girls and I found a piece of broken pipe under the ground and thought it was an ancient artifact. There was a huge argument over who should hold onto the pipe after recess, and I gave a sincere sounding discussion about how I could take care of the artifact for them and bring it back to them once it was resolved. I took it home and kept it -- deliberately.
When I was about six, I heard about martyrs and saints drinking poison or being tortured for god, so I made my own little cult worship group where the other kids (about twenty of them) and I "blessed" random grass plants with "our father" and then chewed them up, without symptoms. It freaked the teachers out. I swear, I could have been a suicidal cult leader by the time I was ten. Religious education makes me cringe today.
When I was about eleven, I was expected to draw pictures of the manger scene for a yearly Christmas card. Instead, I drew a large, fat, drunk, belching Santa with green dribble down his red fur coat. It really ticked off my mum, who later converted to Protestantism and cut out the old pictures of jebus in the manger, because she considered them "graven images."
I was awesome at drawing and writing when I was a kid. I prayed to a pendant with water from Lourdes to get me to win a poetry contest for the class, and I did. A kid asked me how I had the best poem, and I said "you just talk about this jesus crap, I love jesus, he died for our sins, crap. Unfortunately, the the principal of my Catholic school overheard me say that and I never won a poetry contest again. My drawing of the manger is still framed in her office.
When I was in second grade, all of my short stories in class were about demons or dolls murdering or ripping off the heads of innocent children. While other kids wrote about what they did last summer, I swear I was Steven King in the making, only more gorey and quite psychopathic. I wrote stories about murdering kings by converting them into chocolate muffins. I still have many kid doodles of the cut off heads, man, that probably freaked out the teachers.
I have about a billion more to add to that, mostly from when I was still a Catholic. Oh, the things we hide! I recommend religious schooling to bring out the insanity of everyone.
2007-09-21 12:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dalarus 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I confess to watching Shaun the Sheep on Kids TV and there are things I could not repeat here
2007-09-21 12:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me father for I have sinned. I was a bit of a glutton today. I consumed two double doubles at In-N-Out in one sitting. I was really hungry and they are sooooooo good. Is my sin even worse since I decided to get both without cheese?
2007-09-21 13:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Father...it has been some time since my last confession...I have a drink problem...sh1t gotta go pubs calling last orders
2007-09-21 12:09:42 · answer #4 · answered by Beer Monsta 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Right now my s---doesn't stink, Father.Of course 1976 was a whole different issue, so its good to know that your lips are sealed.
2007-09-21 12:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hit a baby dear on the motorway
2007-09-21 12:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by lilmissdisorganised 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After what i saw you doing in the bell tower i think you need to confess yours! ;-)
2007-09-21 12:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes - but I wouldn't mind you telling a soul - it's certain *people* that bother me.
2007-09-21 12:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes...i confess i have wore the same socks since last monday, on n off. hee heeeeeeeeeeee
2007-09-21 12:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a Mars Bar
2007-09-21 12:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by puffy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋