After work, my husband goes to this girl's apartment. Apparently, she cooks for him, bangs him, etcetc. By the time he goes home, he's exhausted. Why is he doing this? I cook for him, too. And take care of the house, our kids, etc. Why does he feel the need to cheat? Obviously he doesn't love me anymore. But I don't think he loves that girl. Does he? He even got a separate cell phone, just so he can call her "safely."
When I confronted him, he said he was sorry, and that I was his "true love." But he never broke it off with her. Does he love her? Or is it just a physical thing? How can I make him just love me and only me?
2007-09-21 11:07:53 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you still with this @ss, sweetheart ?
2007-09-21 11:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him do anything. You say you do the wifely deeds, does that include in the bedroom? Men have always wanted the same things. A lady in public, a cook in the kitchen and a tramp in the bedroom. If you were his "true love" ask him why he continues with her. Maybe he's just going through the time in most men's lives that having a mistress is the only way they feel young and virile. As it seems he's too tired at night, that may be a good thing. You don't know the medical and social history of the other woman.
If he wants to be with you make him be tested and until the results are back he wears protection. That little shock may be the trick that sends him home.
2007-09-21 11:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ego. Maybe she does stuff that you don't. Maybe because there isn't any kids that could over hear the sexcapades or to walk in on them. Maybe because you haven't put your foot down and said, "It's over if you keep seeing her." Been there...
He needs a wake up call. Get her address. Pack up a weeks worth of clothes and have them delivered to her place while he's there. Oh, I would include a tidy envelope holding official separation papers. If he trully loves you, it will be over with her in that moment when he sees ALL he really stands to lose. Have all the locks changed so his keys won't work. If he comes home, when he realizes his BIG mistake, it'll be on your terms.
2007-09-21 11:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Carol T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him do anything. Why are you still with this jerk? If it is because you love him, you need to get over that and move on. Once a cheater always a cheater. Apparently you and your kids don't mean that much to him or he would not have been cheating. Take your kids and go. Make him leave if that is what you want to do. But you deserve to have a man that is going to love you for who you are and only you. I know it is easier said than done. If this is to suttle for you then maybe you should try counceling first. I personally wouldn't. Good Luck
2007-09-21 11:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
when a man does this to his wife and she has been nothing but good to him he jut doesn't love his wife anymore. this new woman makes him feel special and strokes his ego, he may be going through a mid life crisis, if he has been confronted and is still with her than he doesn't care about the consequences. sometimes others choices in life do hurt innocent people. his character is shown by his actions here. u can't get him t love u and only u, because this whole thing is not about u its within him.
2007-09-21 14:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one likes a doormat..and that is what you are being. you need to grab some self esteem.. your deserve better treatment.. you are allowing him to treat you badly. i would not care whether she cooked..banged or anything else.. he would have to leave my house..and he would take care of me and the kids no matter where he lived. you do not disrespect your true love. so he is a liar .. you cannot make him love you..and you only. HE IS A CHEAT. it is not your fault. he is wrong...
2007-09-21 11:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a question no one knows the answer to. If he loved you he would'nt cheat.He would have only been with you.From my own experience I think he wants his cake and eat it to.He has you to take care of the children ,home,etc.If you were his only true love he would be with you.You can,t make someone love you.You have to show him you are not going to put up with it anymore.If he truly loves you he will stop.If not you are better off.There is someone out there that will love you.
2007-09-21 11:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by amy f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are just dogs ! But if its just the sex he is looking for don't make him look for it ! I know I'm married and don't get the sex @ home I'm just not a dog and getn it elsewhere but it puts a huge strain on the marriage ! And sooner or later I may not be strong enough to pass the opportunity up
2007-09-21 11:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by Bow Hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can. If he loved only you, it would be only you he'd come home to.
Your husband is playing both sides and enjoying himself doing it. You should file for a Divorce and get the hell away from him. He sounds like he is having to much fun with you and her. Get out!!!!!
2007-09-21 11:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by Petunia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. And if he doesn't love you, it doesn't matter who else he may or may not love. Re: his saying you're his true love - a guy caught cheating will say just about anything he thinks you'll believe if he thinks it will keep him from having to make a choice. And seriously, is he acting as if you're his true love?
I think *he's* his true love.
I wouldn't put up with this.
2007-09-21 11:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you can't make him love you- i cheated on my wife, and she couldn't make me love her, even when she was willing to change. there are so many reasons for some one to cheat, but in the end all the reasons are bullsh!t. apparently he doesn't even care if you know- that should tell you something. sorry
2007-09-21 14:40:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋