on, and when he thinks I am moving on, he comes around me asking questions, and going through my phone and going through my things when I'm not around, WHY? If he doesn't love me anymore why is he doing this, we have been separated for four months now.
2007-09-21 10:50:04 · 23 answers · asked by beba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason why he still comes over is because we want to avoid any conflict because we have three children together, he comes in the house and acts like nothing is happening he goes on the computer, goes in the closet, and just hangs out. I let him because I love him (stupid I know). He isn't looking for anything to use against me becasue this is a no fault state and pretty much the only thing we need to get rid of is the house, so I just don't get him sometimes
2007-09-21 11:24:41 · update #1
Don't move, change the locks. I know it hurts. Get a lawyer, and talk to your good friends, when you are feeling bad.
2007-09-21 10:55:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Pickles the lunch lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing only he would ask our son who was 15 at the time what did you guys do today if my son said we did nothing then what did your mom do did she go out. I warned my son of this before hand that he would be doing this. I said to my son don't tell your dad anything about what i do or who i talk to on the phone. I want him to feel just a little of what he is putting us through. Your husband is probably doing what my husband was doing to me and that was sleeping with a co-work 9 out of 10 affairs is always with a co-worker. Even though your husband is doing god knows what he stills wants to keep an eye on you to make sure your not sleeping with anyone or seeing anyone. It's OK for him to run around but you are suppose to stay in the house and become a hermit. He needs to know you will always be there just in case he wants you back.
2007-09-21 14:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's easier said than done, but if you could just focus on your life after the divorce. You should just look forward to the day you no longer have to worry about what he is doing and embrace the fact that you are moving on to the next exciting chapter of your own life. Let him be her problem from now on. He is a cheater, doubtful that he is going to treat her any better. Treat yourself well and don't let him take up space in your life anymore. Good luck.
2016-05-20 04:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think he may be looking for ammo to use against you when you go before the judge? Why is he able to get into you things anyway. Once you are separated legally you should have your locks changed. Being nosy doesn't show love in any way, it shows he wants control of things and may be looking to get info that will swing the judge's decision on who gets what. The other thing he doesn't need to know who, when and where you go and do. It isn't any of his business and he might be planning to make trouble for them.
He will use your love for him, against you, don't be blind to these kind of things.
2007-09-21 11:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you that my ex did the exact same thing to me! After 20 years of marriage, he decided he "wasn't the marrying kind" (duh - what a lame excuse!) and wanted a divorce.... so I moved out and moved on ..... to his chagrin! He thought he could have his cake and eat it too! He didn't want to be married but he still wanted to control my life! He didn't want me to get close to another man! The divorce took 3 years to complete because he sabotaged the paperwork. I finally got one by default because he never contested, only resisted.
Question for you: How is it that he's close enough to read your phone and go through your things? Doesn't sound like either one of you want to divorce. Any chance of marriage counseling? Maybe you can save yourselves .....
2007-09-21 11:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by talkercatbiscuits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks on your door. It is likely he is trying to follow up on information that he can use against you.
Alternatively, he has a need for control and knowledge is control for him. My BIL's ex-wife constantly asked her adult children what he was doing and was angry and nasty when she found out he was getting married. I mean, she got the house, all the bank accounts, the car and was the one who wanted the divorce in the first place! It was 12 YEARS since their divorce.
2007-09-21 10:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It gives him a sense of control. He is a jerk and should have no access to your things. Change your locks and your phone number. Do whatever you need to. He is invading your privacy and your rights as a person. This is how the man you love is treating you...by ignoring your personal space. Stop him before he does something to hurt you further financially or emotionally. He gave up his rights to you. Force him to stick by that. HIS LOSS.
2007-09-21 10:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by mummy heffalump 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks..... Tell him He initiated this Divorce... Then let him know he can't annoy you no longer.. To move on... Remember this is what he initiated himself.
It sounds to me he is calling your bluff... Like he doesn't really want a Divorce. You need to sit down and talk to him and find out how he really feels about your situation and resolve it... quickly!!!
2007-09-21 11:07:37 · answer #8 · answered by Petunia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to move to another state or country and let no one know your where abouts. Change your name, get a new passport with name change, get a new life, move on, leave no forwarding address so you cannot be traced, burn all pictures of your ex......meet another man and fall madly in love and tell no stories of the past.....good luck.....
2007-09-21 11:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by yawlcome2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sound like he still have feelings for you , but i would move on if i were you.there is a possibility that he is trying to get some proof from your personal belongings for lawsuit against you. so stand up, head up and enjoy your life. there are still millions of men out there that you can start over again.
2007-09-21 11:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by LEXUSRY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋