My hubby and I have been married for 6 years. He constantly is telling me to change this and that about myself, yet I have been this way since the start. I finally got tired of it and told him to move the hell out if he didn't like who I am. Now we are seperated and he is making demands on me in order for us to get back on track, like sell all my animals...the ones that we have had for all 6 years and bought together! He never goes out and says that if I want to go out with the girls then he will leave and I can be single. Yet the 24/7 in the house with no friends and no getting out except to go shopping is killing me. I love him allot! But I cant handle him telling me that if I want him back then I need to change. Any advice?
2007-09-21 10:11:53 · 10 answers · asked by misshel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I havent met a married couple who wouldnt like thier spouse to change something about them.
Its when one tries to totally change the other that raises the question: 'Why marry someone then try and change them into someone else ?'
Men AND women do this...just not all of them.
LOL Valerie X !!
2007-09-21 10:24:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The narrative is flawed or to say politely,incomplete.People ,yes all people change after marriage .Many changes are even involuntary and can be noticed only by others.Therefore,shall we say that no matter what,people change after marriage and that's what keeps the compatibility functional on a moving time frame.It's strange that for six long years,no compatible mid path could be adopted by both the partners.You have not mentioned the type of changes asked by your husband.In all improbability,some of those could be reasonable or even conducive for the relationship. All what can be said at this juncture is that you both sit across a table and rework the equation and give it an honest try,Given a mutual consent and strong desire,any relationship can be salvaged and made functional.We have to remember that no matter what ,the very basis of such relationship was mutual liking and ,may be ,Love, One of the strongest human emotion and it can't die just like a fly.
2007-09-21 18:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is a control freak and a manipulator. do what you want and be who you are. I've known a couple of guys like this and it only gets worse- these people do not change- get out while you can, while you still have some self esteem and respect for yourself, because he will take those from you and you won't even know it until its to late
2007-09-21 11:27:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband has a lot to learn about relationships. No, you don't get together with someone and then make them change. But let me ask you this: you know that your husband wants to change you - this is the way he is; are you hoping to change HIM? If he can't accept who you are, and you can't accept his constant nagging, you guys have no business being together. Something's got to give. At least one of you should be willing to accept the other as they are.
2007-09-21 10:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you did the right thing by telling him too go,,,he cant treat you this way,you are you,and it is you who he supposed to have fell in love with,keep too your tracks hon,yes you love him but you cant have the control regime 24/7,you need a life,start going out with friends,dont let him win,,,,good luckxxxx
2007-09-21 10:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We don't want the woman to change, we want them to stop trying to change us. Your husband used the oldest trick in the book to get complete and total control of the remote and you fell for it hook, line and sinker. It worked.
2007-09-21 10:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Run! He is a controlling, abusive Freak-Dog!!!!
Love ain't gonna fix it, babe, get away from him, he will not get better only worse.
You should have the freedom and support from him to see your friends, family, go shopping, get hobbies whatever you want to do. He is trying to isolate you and control your life
Very Bad.
2007-09-21 10:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by RAVEN 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are on here trying to sell your dogs! In fact, two of them you claim to be "Married"!!! That is very odd!
"Muneco (male) and Rosa are the married couple "
Your EXACT WORDS!!!!
2007-09-21 10:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men should sing to their wives " I love you just the way you are" was he like this before you married ? get him to go out with you with other couples try counseling,,
2007-09-21 10:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like the separation is for the best...
2007-09-21 10:17:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋