Miserable in grad school?

Question

I am in my third year of grad school in math at a very good research university. I believe
I am doing pretty well in my work. The problem is that I am extremely miserble... I typically
alternate between nervousness and depression.I get nervous about uncertain future etc. And then
depression kicks in: I ask myself, why worry about the future, would a postman's job
not bring me better pay, more rights and a higher standard of living? I am totally lost
about how I stand in society and see myself as a slave, who at 23, cannot even use a masters
degree to earn above min wage. I have never had a driver's license, still live with
a roommate and the money I make is awful. Life seems to be an unending wait for death
and I want to be sedated, or put out of my misery... I want to slit my throat, but
my courage fails me at that moment.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry! When I read the title of your question, I was going to say, "Isn't that true of everyone?" but then I read the rest and realized that your situation sounds worse than most. Get yourself to your school's psychological counseling center - you might, in fact, really be helped by antidepressants. When you are this depressed, it is impossible to make really good decisions about the future, so you need to get past the current phase, and then decide if this is really what you want to be doing. The question really is, are you miserable because you are in grad school, or is grad school miserable because you are depressed?