That has been about a year ago.I quit my job of (10) years, sold my house & left my friends to be w/ him.I know he appreciates that fact but sometimes I don't think he really understands what I have given up just to be w/ him.I've been getting depressed lately because I feel kinda of alone.You see, I am having a hard time making friends & have no life outside of our life together.The only "friends" I have are really just his friends.I thought I could make friends thru work but ended up working for a semi-retired CPA.It is only him & I in the office.Some days I don't see any one at all & the phone never rings.I eat lunch by myself everyday.I also go to school but the people I meet there are so much younger & are not interested in being friends outside of school.To make things worse, he just started a new job & is unable to e-mail or call me during the day like he used to.He has lots of friends & goes to lunch daily w/ different people, etc...I don't know what to do??? I'm depressed!!!
2007-09-21 09:18:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I work Monday-Wednesday- Friday form 8:30am until 5:30pm and I go to school Tuesday-Thursday from 1:00pm until 10:00pm. I am taking 10 credit hours (Biology A & P and Chemistry). I also have a 14 year old son. I have no time for hobbies or groups, ect...
2007-09-21 09:31:17 · update #1
I am not resentful of my husband at all. I know I made my choices. I just wish he would undertand more why his e-mails and phone calls are so important to me. I am thinking of changing jobs because of this. The only problem is I making REALLY ggod money. But I wonder if it's worth it???
2007-09-21 09:42:45 · update #2
Ofcourse you are, it's his playground. Try to find some activity lake dancing or some sport or anything that you like, and you will easily find new people and maybe make some new friendships. Its easier then you think, and if you feel happier, both of you will be happier. I keep fingers crossed for you.
2007-09-21 09:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Making friends can be difficult, but eventually you will meet some people. You say you don't have time for hobbies etc, but what about the parents of your son's classmates? Volunteer for something at his school and perhaps you will make friends that way. I believe feeling good and having a friend or two is more important than your schooling at this point, so perhaps you should re-think your school class load next semester and fit in some hobbies and interests. A miserable wife and mom will only bring down the family, as you've already pointed out you are taking it out on your husband by feeling resentful of decisions that YOU MADE.
2007-09-21 09:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, what a mess. I can't believe you put up with this for 8 years. Ok, bout the only thing i can tell you to do is start putting money aside. Every time you go grocery shopping stick $10-$20 in your wallet. Save up every little dime you can. Once you have enough to move in to your own place, start looking for a job. Once you have one, move out. Do yourself a favor this time, do not let him know where you are until you have filed for divorce and custody of the children. This way he can't pull the same stuff that he has been doing. Good luck.
2016-05-20 03:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Making friends in a new place is not easy! But it is healthy to have your own friends. Think about joining a club related to something you are interested in. Look for activities that interest you... or consider a new hobby! Make sure your H is in the loop as to why you need this. This will be good for the marriage as a whole too!
Time for the two of you together.. and each of you having some time just with friends. this is healthy.
Its not easy... but it will take extra effort on your part to accomplish this.
Also, consider volunteering! Great way to meet people!
2007-09-21 09:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by sandgnat 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are just homesick for your old friends who you should still be keeping in touch with, even though you are miles apart. You are staying busy so that isn't the problem. Maybe you should look for another job and give up the current one. I too work in a two person office and it does has it's disadvantages. I was used to working with large groups of people and had more socializing which I knew I would miss, but the pay was too good to pass up. You have a son who you can spend time with but I understand that is not the same as having gal pal's to buddy with. E-mail me and we can chat. :)
2007-09-21 09:49:11 · answer #5 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No matter what some people will say to you about meeting people on the internet,take no notice i met my partner on there 2 years ago and we are very happy,so yes it can work. As for your situation,you need to join some groups,get yourself hobbies,what about neighbours,there are people out there you just have to go places to meet up and then you will start making friends,You say its only been 1 year,and now the honeymoon period is over,and your thinking was it worth giving up on such a lot,but give it time things will look so much better in say few months or so,,talk to your hubby tell him how you are feeling,maybe he will know some groups you can join,,and maybe get another job where there are more ppl,good luck too you hon,hope things start getting better for you soon,would love to know how you are doing,feel free to email me anytime,,good luck too youxxxxx
2007-09-21 09:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand you're busy, but if you want to start feeling better, you have to find a way to fit in social activity. Think of it as a mental health appointment. If nothing else, see what you can do about starting up some study groups as an excuse to interact with your classmates. You may want to start hunting for a job that will allow you more interaction, too. And while you can't rely on them completely, don't forget that you can stay in touch with your old friends for support when you really need it.
2007-09-21 09:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by MM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to find an organization that you would feel comfie volunteering for or go find a p/t job in a retail setting. You'll find and meet new people there. As far as what you've given up. I'm sure he appreciates what you've done, but you can't hang it over his head and sort of expect him to keep "repaying" you for your sacrifice. That's over with and done. You have to help yourself. If you're alone and depressed, and you need "people", then get out there.... there's a world of people out there.. just make sure you find the ones that you can trust and have a good relationship with.
2007-09-21 09:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately we (you and I) are a dying breed known as hopeless romantics. We give everything we have to a relationship hoping that the other person will do the same. Most times it doesn't end up that way.
You should really open up to him and let him know EXACTLY how you feel. If he doesn't offer you 'everything' you need to feel complete in the relationship then you might think about making an exit.
Good luck!
2007-09-24 10:20:30 · answer #9 · answered by Buddy Love 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are feeling isolated and from your other questions you are having some other issues in your new life. Are there any people around you can go to Happy Hour with either from work or school? You are going to have to push your comfort levels of meeting new people, that means you being the extra friendly/persistant one which you probably didn't have to do in your old life. Tell your husband to meet you at his favorite bar after work and you go early to wait for him and strike up conversation with other ladies you see there. If people know your husband there and then see you with him, they will be friendly to you next time you are there by yourself. Email me or Im me for other suggestions, it is a slow time of year for my business, so I like to talk to people. Good luck and stay happy, you are responsible for your own happiness.
2007-09-21 10:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by Billy Voltaire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋