Hello everyone!
I am introvert and i am also a little on the shy side. My entire life I have been plagued by the same question, "Why are you so quiet?" or "Whats wrong with you?"
I mean people I hardly know will come up to me and ask these questions, and i'm really starting to get sick of it. Infact I have had people point to me and say with anger "this girl here never says anything!"
Once, a guy that had just met asked me if I was an introvert. I told him yes and then he said:
"Yeah, I really don't like people like you because I either think that you are thinking mean things about me, or that you are just not worth my time!"
What makes someone think that they have the right to say that to someone they don't even know... just because they are quiet?
Don't get me wrong, I told him what I thought about that...
....but I was just wondering if anyone else has this happen to them? Any suggestions on what to say when faced wtih these ignorant questions?
2007-09-21 09:13:08 · 16 answers · asked by *JustMe* 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Answers:
'why are you so loud?'
'why are you so judgemental?'
'I'm waiting for an intelligent person to have a conversation with'
'I'm making notes for my new expose on [ whatever or wherever that person is ]'
'Im studying philosophy'
2007-09-21 09:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If its a stranger tell him/her that you are thinking about some event nextday, that's why you are quite. But if someone who has heard about you or known you is asking, then tell them to mind their business, if they are trying to be rude.
Don't get me wrong, but I get intimidated in the presence of an introvert. I had this co-league, who used to give me rides sometimes, but never talk. I used to wonder what he is thinking about me. Is there something wrong? Is he observing my dirty feet or something else...I had no clue...to take away his whatever attention on me...I used to talk a lot. Finally when I asked him am I talking too much..he said at work you don't talk much, but you talk a lot when you are with me.
So its OK to talk. People on the other side are waiting for you to say something. Ask question if you don't have anything to say. They will have a subject to proceed with conversation.
2007-09-21 09:33:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mileys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They probably ask these blunt questions because they figure your response isn't going to be too dramatic and so they don't fear it, and are less inhibited because of it.
I've had people, all my life, ask the same thing, and it makes me angry too. I've been stereotyped as a bookworm/genius simply because I'm quiet when people never see me reading or doing anything academic. These stereotypes bug me too.
If anyone asks why I'm so quiet, I say, "Why are you so loud?"
or
If I want to offend them in a subtle way I might say, "I'm just not as much of an open book as you. I don't like to wear my emotions on my shoulders."
It'll make the person who questioned feel that they're not as unique as you, and they'll think twice before asking that question. I know most people want to think that they're unique, and that response usually blows that aspiration apart. It also makes you sound smarter, and makes them feel stupid.
Sorry, I just really hate these type of questions as well. There so obnoxious.
2007-09-21 09:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ruth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am also very quiet and shy. The funniest thing to do would be to just smile when they ask you that. There is no need to dignify their condescension with an answer. They don't really care to know why you are quiet. They just want to poke fun at you because you are different. Just smile and go about your business. You wonder why they think they have the right to ask you that. Well... because they do. They can ask nearly anything they want, even if it's rude. You are free to answer or not; you are free to take offense or not.
2007-09-21 09:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have this happen too. I hate when people point out that I'm quiet, don't talk much or I'm soft spoken. I'm only shy at first, if you are one of the lucky people who get to know me you'd realize that I'm not really that quiet. When people say that I'm quiet, I really don't know how to respond besides something like that.
2007-09-21 10:24:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say something like "because you talk too much" or "why do you talk so much?"
I'm quiet too and I know that people can be and act so stupid just because someone's not talking a mile a minute 24/7
just know that there are other people like me that don't talk a whole lot
be sure to always make the jerks that try to pick on you regret ever trying to pick on you, you know, let them have it
normal people like us only talk when we have something to say and some ppl don't get that
2007-09-21 09:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by manaymaintnoneyobizznuzz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have had this happen. Maybe you're quiet because everyone else is so loud.....maybe you are actually thinking before you say something unlike so many other people...
2007-09-21 09:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by suzi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"I'm trying to counterbalance your excessive speech" is what you should say.
There was a girl in one of my college classes that rarely ever said a word. Yet, when she did say something, it was always so clever/funny/insightful). It seemed like she followed the "only speak when you really have something to say" model. She stands out in my mind so well because I admired her.
2007-09-21 09:33:20 · answer #8 · answered by Thinking 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 08:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by carlstrom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one who is rude is worth further consideration.
A response to "Why are you so quiet?" is "I learn more by listening than by talking."
I have no small talk, either. Friends tell me I am "restful." I hope that is a compliment.
2007-09-21 09:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by anobium625 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋