I am just worried because I feel that my husband does not like having sex with me, I feel he prefers to play soccer or volley ball or whatever rather than having sex. For having sex he is always tired or he says is too late and he has to work the next day. We sometimes spend 2 or 3 months without sex at all. Is that normal for a couple that only has been married for about four years now? Thank you for your answers
2007-09-21 09:01:13 · 14 answers · asked by Genoveva M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did some research on this a couple of years back. The sources I found ranged between once per week to 3-4 times per week... ON AVERAGE! This was for couples in committed, long-term relationships. Singles had sex far less frequently on average. Of course, every couple's sex life is unique to themselves, whether or not one partner or the other is dissatisfied with the frequency. Also, the frequency (and quality) of sex varies significantly over the course of a LT relationship as changes in stage of life occur. This swings both down... and back up.
The issue is really coming to terms with what you want and what he wants... and see if through communication, you can find a compromised solution that works for both of you!
Good luck!
2007-09-21 09:19:45 · answer #1 · answered by sandgnat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would worry too if I were you. Not normal after only 4 years of marriage. He has to be getting satisfaction somewhere, either from another lady or by hand. If it is the first then you need to evaluate your marriage. If it is the second then you need to figure out a way to get him going for you again. You need some spice in your sex life.
When he's been playing soccer or volleyball and comes home have a hot bath ready for him. Join him in the tub and rub all of his sore, tired muscles. Have soft music playing. Candles burning. Then lead him onto the bed where you massage everything with a good massage oil (flavored). Use your hands first and follow with the tongue. If that doesn't work then you have a major problem that will require professional help and counseling.
I think he'll respond and you'll find that your love life will improve dramatically.
Have fun.
2007-09-21 09:23:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might be that is "normal" for him. He might just have a low sex drive. Though not much discussed there are men out there who have low sex drives, just like some women.
If this is an issue for you in that you have a higher drive than your husband you need to talk with him about finding a compromise that works for you both. If you are unable to reach that type of compromise, you will have to choose whether or not you can live with this.
My first husband had a next to zero drive paired with my one step from nympho drive, obviously that wasn't acceptable.
My One now and I have a close to perfect match. We "play" at least 4 or 5 times a week, more when work is slow!
Just try to keep in mind that this is one of those areas where there is no such thing as "normal". People are individuals therefore they have widely varied sexual apetites.
2007-09-21 09:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up to the couple. Some can get by with a little once a week others need it Much more.I feel two or three months is too long. Some might like that but not me. I advertise by putting on some little cute teddy.( I have many) or very little at all He can't keep his eyes off me. I just smile inside. So help him out run him a warm bath or shower with him what ever he enjoys., candles soft romantic music( Barry still does it for us.) then get it on as Marvin says. Good Luck.
2007-09-21 09:19:38 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That "average number" is impossible to determine, because not only do couples range from those who never have sex to those who have it several times a day, peoples wants and ability change over time.
Nor would such a number help your situation. It's time to ask him directly what the h e l l is going on - and if the answer is not satisfactory, then it's time to ask yourself whether you're better off with him or without him. And I doubt you'll have much trouble answering the second question...
2007-09-21 15:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not normal unless it was this way from the very beginning. I've been with my SO for over a year and sometimes we have sex 2x a day and sometimes just 3 days a week. It has slowed slightly from the time we met.
2007-09-21 09:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by LoraC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We've been married for 3 years; we both work full time, have a 2 year old, and still find time at least 5 times a week.
2007-09-21 09:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if we are an average couple but we have sex two to three times a week. I t just depends on what else is going on in our lives.
2007-09-21 09:14:03 · answer #8 · answered by diablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have sex with my spouse at least 3 times a week on average.
2007-09-21 09:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has time for soccer and volley ball, I'd be wonderin why he doesn't have time for sex. Maybe he's getting his on the side?
2007-09-21 14:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋