I'm moving out of home tomorrow, i'm 18 and going to uni, but i just feel so upset. Like it's the end of something you know? I can't shake off feeling sad, and i see nothing exciting about the prospect of living in a small room, sharing a bathroom with 8 other people and starting completely fresh, making new friends. Maybe i don't want to make new friends, maybe i liked my life how it was. I'm just so nervous and i know it's probably due to how i was raised, more or less wrapped in cotton wool...i think it's made me a nervous and wary person of change.
urgh i just hate feeling like this, is it normal to feel like this and how did/are/would you react in my situation?
2007-09-21 08:39:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Should you? Doesn't matter. (Suppose I said "No, you shouldn't." That wouldn't make the feelings go away, would it?)
That said, what you're feeling is perfectly legitimate. You ARE ending your "child living at home" life.
Yes, it's scary to move into an unknown situation.
All the other freshmen are in the same situation, and many are feeling pretty much as you are about it.
All dormies are going to be sharing their bedroom and bathroom, so you're all in the same boat.
Yes, it's a drag, but sharing a room can also have advantages. And you get used to it. It won't be forever, either.
It's impossible to say whether your having lived "wrapped in cotton wool" (nice expression!) is why you're wary of change, or that's just the kind of person you are.
(I'm wary of change, and I wasn't raised wrapped in cotton wool, for instance; it's just how I am. Knowing this about myself makes it easier to cope with, as I realize that my initial reaction is just the "New, BAD!" thing, and once I'm used to the new situation I'll most likely feel differently about it.)
The one thing you seem to be forgetting is where you're going and why. You're going to college. There, you'll get to take all kinds of classes in interesting fields.
You can learn a LOT there.
You are also of an age to be more on your own. This, too, is learning. You're going to begin to learn to make your own decisions for yourself, rather than your parents making them for you. This is a good thing, scary though it may seem now.
So, buck up! Yes, you're nervous, but it will pass.
There will be much that you'll love, once you get used to your new scene. After a while, it will feel familiar and homey to you.
After a while you WILL have those new friends, and you'll be glad to have them.
You'll be getting a lot from your classes.
You'll gain in confidence in your ability to meet new situations and cope with them.
Remember, you are NOT the only one who will be nervous. That will be the first thing that brings you together with others, until you find out who you really like as friends.
You don't have to give up your current friends. But there's no harm in getting a few new ones in your new environment.
2007-09-21 09:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound just to good but in a week I am also going to the University(I am 19).And I feel exactly the same way because I was also raised by my parents like this(only here in Bulgaria we have a different expression about it).But at the same time I am excited becaue this is everything I have ever dreamed of-studying Informatics in the most prestigious University in the country.Conditions in both countries are different but a lot of problems await you.Here Universities are independant and I start at October the 1st but a friend of mine started on17th this month and the first day he didn't even visit the lectures-he was that confused and stressed out.Good luck and don't worry-it's called developement,part of growing up you just have to get used to the changes in your life.After all there is no point of doing it if it's not for the best.
2007-09-21 16:13:35 · answer #2 · answered by brich_inc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's normal to feel that way. Just try to keep a positive attitude about the situation. This is the first of many endings/beginnings. Life is all about change and you have to learn to embrace it...even if it's not something that you are comfortable with. The bathroom thing is kinda gross though, isn't it!?!?!
It will be an exciting time and most of the people you meet when you go, whether they admit it or not, are feeling the same way. Some of your best experiences you will have in college. Have fun! Sure miss those days....and yes, I did initially feel the way you do now!
2007-09-21 15:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kim B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are so young, and Yes it's soooo normal. Just remember this is only a tiny portion of your life, and your doing it for your benefit. Don't knock it 'til you try it. Go and if you hate it, take your credits and go to college near home. You should get some friends together tonight, and celebrate. Everyone is proud of you! And everyone would still be proud of you if you decide that it's not for you. The life you have is still yours to live, so make sure you stay in touch with everyone. You sound like me, and I was raised the exact same way. Sometimes a little change in life will do us good, even if we do hate it. It will make you stronger.
2007-09-21 15:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by NikkiButler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel how you feel. I've been there. Stop focusing on the negative and think of the adventure you are about to embark on. Give yourself time to adjust. It's normal to feel how you are. It's scarey but it is exciting too. You won't be alone so focus on making new friends and support each other. You are in for some up and down times but the up times will be worth it. Get involved in activities that interest you. Study hard. If you keep busy and involved then you will have less time to get sad.
2007-09-21 15:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not the end of something it's the begiinning of something, change is sometimes scary, nobody knows you there and everybody in the freshman class is in a mix of feeling excitement fear leaving lovers,homesick,some never left their block or farm before.
Give it the weekend of orientation, I'll wager you feel better.
You could go home and transfer to a local college or go to schoo on line.
The worst thing to do when you get ther if you're depressed id self medicate,Vodka,x,coke,and etc. You may have a few beers if you are of age but keep your head clear until you make your decisions. You should always stay away from that stuff but I went to college in 1993 and I put 4 kids thru colleg 1 thru law school and one medical school, It's like Amsterdam out ther I know it.
Be well and good luck. If you are in NJ or PA and you get in trouble e mail my wife and me, we may be able to refer you to the riight peopel
2007-09-21 15:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by frank 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes your feelings are natural and understandable. They would natural even if you couldn't wait for the small amount of freedom that college gives you.
The sad feeling will go when you get involved with your college studies, goings on in the dorm and trying to find your way around. You are not alone, there are many others at school that have those same feelings.
Get on with your day! New beginnings and all that.
2007-09-21 15:47:07 · answer #7 · answered by imthepretty1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps a little bit of Peter Pan syndrome, afraid to grow up. Why would you want to move out of your home, where you are perfectly comfortable and have all your own space and things, where you want them. But, you get so much more freedom when you don't live at home. Plus there is the pride in knowing that you don't have to have your parents there to help you every step of the way. Go to uni, live it, love it, and you will have a blast.
2007-09-21 15:44:32 · answer #8 · answered by Flower Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what your feeling is pefectly normal. But dont feel like its the end of something, look at it as the begining. I would be feeling the same as you as change scares me too, however I was never brave enough to take the steps your are and I will always regret that. I wish you all the very best of luck.
2007-09-21 15:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by Tina C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is completely normal. If I were/when I was in your shoes I tried very hard to just expect the best to come. It's a fresh start a new chapter dive in with arms open it won't take long to adjust. Trust, nothing is hardly ever as bad as we may think it is. Just breathe and release. You're going to be happily independent.
2007-09-21 15:47:40 · answer #10 · answered by pixie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋