I am very happily married to a man 7 years younger than me. He's 25 and I'm 32. Everything is wonderful, even sex.. But lately, it's been off. Sex used to be long, very often and filled with passion. It's still passionate, but a lot less and not long at all. We have a 1 yr old daughter, and he works very hard, and we respect, love each other, and talk about any issues that arise. But lately, when we do have sex (once a week, sometimes 2) he is so built up that he cannot last very long. He promises to "make love" to me the next night, but of course he is satified and ends up falling asleep early. I've told him how I feel and he says "I need to please my wife more" very lovingly, but life just seems to keep him busy and tired. I can't dress sexy because we have kids around, so that's out. I've tried being flirtatious, sexy, and dressed up for him, but it only works on the nights he is sex starved, and he is way beyond controlling himself at that point. Any suggestions?
2007-09-21 08:25:43 · 15 answers · asked by S&NFervor4Ever 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not exactly old (fields_wc)
Your answer was obviously not meant to help.
2007-09-21 08:41:11 · update #1
oh! i so know how you feel,i've been married now 11 yrs(married really young)but let me tell you it's completly normal for your sex life to fizz a little.what works for us is getting away,you mentioned you have kids,well girlfriend sounds like you and your man need some alone time.maybe a weekend get away,or you can book a room for the night.the main issue is you have to spend time alone.these rendezvous have really turned thing around for us!
2007-09-21 08:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by catlover30 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was an answer that had something to do with him needing variety. Although, this was bluntly put, there is some truth to it. Your man may be tired and stressed, but if you gave him permission to be with his 'dream' woman (ala Jessica Alba), I can bet that he wouldn't be a one hit wonder that night.
With that said, you can give him the variety that he is looking for without sending him to a different girl. Sometimes it is as easy as doing something adventurous that you haven't before. Watch an adult video, etc. The mistake a lot of people make after being married for a while is they 'plan' to have sex. 'Hey, wanna have sex tonight?'. My girlfriend of 7yrs will ask that and sometimes I will simply say 'not tonight, I'm tired'......Well, if later on, she begins to 'act' as though I said 'yes, please', I'm in the mood immediately.
On the other hand, you may never get your 3 times a night man back, but foreplay will definitely make it last longer and most men can get into that.
good luck.
2007-09-21 16:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jay E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing you can do is give him oral and let him *** quickly that way and then help him get another rise--guarantee the second one will last!
Two, try giving him a hand job every other night or so, which is even more effective if done as mutual masturbation. Just a quickie to take the edge off so that when you have the time and energy to play for real you aren't as over stimulated.
Keep in mind that this is perfectly normal and one of the things that just fluctuates during any relationship.
2007-09-21 15:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start waking him up about 30 minutes earlier with soft kisses rubbing him there. When he wakes up give him passionate kisses and that will be an awesome way to start the morning for both of you. You will not be so rushed, he is not so tired and both will be less grumpy at night and in the morning. You do that every morning he will not be so built up and can go longer and after a night of sleep there are few better ways to be woken in the morning to greet the sun - rise, LOL. Best of luck.
2007-09-21 15:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can be sexy!! Your 1 year doesn't have an affect on that. Your husband must be crazy to not want to be with you everyday other than those night's he is sex starved. Maybe he has too much stress or like you said is really tired. Sometimes, that's how your sex life is once the children come into the picture. I would suggest that you tell him he can pleasure you in other ways besides sex that won't tire him out. He has to respect you and satisfy you too not just himself.
2007-09-21 15:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He should be able to "answer the bell" a second time in the same night, particularly at his young age.
Try extending the foreplay. Finish him off the first time however you like (except intercourse). Then have him spend some time on you, maybe orally. It probably won't take long before he is ready to go again. He will last a lot longer the second time around.
2007-09-21 15:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand the biology of the male of the species. He is bored. It has nothing to do with you, he would eventually get bored with a porn star. Guys need variety. Internet porn, strip clubs or the occasional affair. Hookers, not street walkers, almost universally will tell you that they have saved or extended more marriages than marriage councilors. He gets back to you when his sex drive overcomes his boredom. It doesn't really give you much advice, but at least you know where he is coming from.
2007-09-21 16:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do a weekend get a way - leave your 1 yr old with the family (grandparents love that). And go somewhere that you can spend the entire weekend in your room.
Maybe you just need time to get away - and be the two of you again.
2007-09-21 15:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by Rob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like he needs to help you get your burner lit. Try getting some sex toys like a "rabbit vibrator." These little devices stimulate your clitoris an will cause multiple orgasms (four to eight.) My wife and I use one prior to making love and she just begs me to make love to her. But usually before I climax she is saying "no more please."
Sometimes as men get older they don't last as long but that will change when he gets in his late thirties. Women on the other hand take longer to orgasm starting in their early thirties and it just gets worse. That is why your man needs to give you some extra help and get you going on full burner and not just on the pilot light. You can get these things at an adult novelty shop or just order them on-line. They will come in a plain brown box and no one will know what is in it...except you.
2007-09-21 15:35:56 · answer #9 · answered by Older Guy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WELL, YOU CAN WAIT TILL THE KIDS GO TO BED AND PUT ON SOMETHING A LITTLE WILD.. MY HUSBAND AND I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE SEX SOMETIMES IT IS JUST A RUB WHETHER IT MY HAIR, OR ARM. THAT TO ME CAN BE INTIMATE TIME TOO.. AND SOMETIMES THAT CAN LEAD INTO SOMETHING MORE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.. AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO THIS.. MY SISTER IS 8 YRS OLDER THAN HER HUBBY..
2007-09-21 15:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by wenwen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋