my husband tends to leave me out of his life & lies to me about stupid stuff. he's lied about big things too, but more little things in the past two years. he looks into personal websites & talks to chicks who are obviously looking to get laid. is he really saying that he doesn't want to be married? did i do something wrong?
2007-09-21 08:15:13 · 15 answers · asked by gorf79 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i never said he looks for sex on those sites. he just looks at nudy pics from chicks he talks to from those sites. he's nicer to other people, is more giving & caring towards others, too. we have sex alot & i give him all i can.
2007-09-21 08:43:46 · update #1
To answer your question: Married men lie to their wives for the same reason married women lie to their husbands.
More specific to the example you have given, he probably feels like you treat him like a 3 year-old (as many wives unknowingly do) and feels emasculated when you ask him questions like "where were you" and "why were you looking at that website."
Try giving him some attention and do it in a loving manner with any guilt or expectation of reciprocation and you'll be surprised how much attention he gives you back.
By the way, these types of behaviors usually indicate that he's not getting enough sex.
2007-09-21 08:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by keysfunding 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I was ready to read this woman the riot act, until reading Steve's post. Then I remembered my situation. I live in a small 3 bedroom house with my wife. I have plenty of female friends that I've known for years that were either ex girlfriends or I've slept with. There have been times when we've had conversations that I didn't want my wife to hear because they were personal or could have been misunderstood if overheard. Some of these conversations were flirty or sexual; however I wasn't sleeping with them or had desire to. I would not follow Drkangel's advice and start snooping. The first thing you should do is communicate. Ask her about it and tell her how you felt. See how much information she is willing to give you without you making a big deal of it. Then keep your eyes open. If she does more shady behavior then you should probably do some action that makes it obvious that you will no longer tolerate this behavior, such as move into another room, or start sleeping on the couch. DO NOT MOVE OUT!!!! That causes a lot of other problems. If your wife isn't moved by your actions, then ask one simple question of her, "Is whatever your'e doing worth risking our marriage?" And if that isn't enough to move her...then do what you have to do to destroy the marriage (such as doing the exact same things she is).
2016-03-13 05:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was exactly like this for the 7 years we were together. Three weeks ago I got off work early and walked in on him getting a BJ from the neighbor. For the first time in his life he has cried and admitted that he cares about me and does not want to lose me. Some men will never change. Some need a HUGE kick in the nuts to realize they are messing up. My husband has been to a therapist every week since then. He has cried every day. But that doesn't matter. I should have left him when I was where you are now. I'm sorry, but that is the way I feel.
Good luck to you. If you stay with him, please think it through.
2007-09-21 08:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by TW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked, "[W]hy do married men lie to their wive?" But the correct way to ask that question is: "Why is my husband lying to me?" Not all married men lie to their wives, and women lie to their husbands, too.
He's lying to you because he has no respect for you.
You also mentioned that he goes to personals' sites and searches for women looking for sex. If he's been doing that for two years, he's probably had sex with some of them.
When you asked, "did I do something wrong?"
Yes, you did do something wrong: You married a liar and an adulterer.
Get a divorce as soon as you can. You definitely deserve better.
2007-09-21 08:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, something is terribly wrong. Little lies are a part of life, big ones are not.
Yes you did something wrong, you sat at a computer in the middle of a wonderful day and asked stangers for advice on a public website. Talk to your husband about your feelings, not strangers.
2007-09-21 08:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ron K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, he's looking to have an affair. It's simple. He lies to you because he really doesn't care about you or respect your feelings. Not all married men lie to their wives, only the ones who dont' care. It's clear your relationship is headed in the toilet.
2007-09-21 13:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, u didnt do anything wrong. He thinks that nothing cud happen and that it wont hurt u. Maybe something happened between u two that did this or maybe hes just leaving something inside. It'll work out, i promise.
Peace, and vote my answer as best
2007-09-21 08:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should not be lying to you, about big things or small. And he should not be having friendships with other women that he hides from you. You need to confront him about his behavior and maybe suggest counseling. You deserve to have a husband who respects you and is honest with you.
2007-09-21 08:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't told me his plans. Who knows . Talk with him. Maybe go on the same sites and talk to men. See what he thinks about it then.
2007-09-21 09:35:02 · answer #9 · answered by reinformer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he is looking at the web sites there is a big red flag that he is looking to cheat on you, maybe he already has . you need to talk to him and ask him whats up and kick him to the curb if he don't stop
2007-09-21 08:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋