they had talked on the phone multiple times, what would you do? About three weeks ago (on my birthday) I found out they were still talking on the phone and had actually seen each other once although she claims it was return some of his stuff and they didn't have sex. She assured me they had only talked a few times, that the affair was over, and she would let me know if he called again. Looking on our most recent phone bill, he called 6 times on my birthday, just minutes after my wife assured me it wouldn't happen again. She never said anything to me. In all, since we got back together they have spoken on the phone over 50 times, nearly every day, often 3 and 4 times a day. What should I do? There have been no phone calls (that I know of) for the past 10 days, since I called and threatened him. But they could have changed their preferred method of contact. My wife claims she is committed to me and that the affair is posivitely over, but phone bills don't lie, do they?
2007-09-21 07:56:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
micah, we've been going to a marriage counselor three times a week for the past 6 weeks. I'm suprised she's found so much time to talk to him.
2007-09-21 08:16:44 · update #1
I remember your first question about this months back, and I'm sorry to see the situation hasn't improved for you.
I'm not one to give relationship advice, given my own infidelity, but it seems clear that your wife is still carrying on with him. If she lied to you on your birthday about speaking with him, it holds to reason she's lied about the physical relationship between the two of them as well.
An innocent person has no reason to lie.
2007-09-21 08:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jack B, goodbye, Yahoo! 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me there are two issues here.
One: your wife cheated on you and has not gotten over the other guy yet.
Two: because of her lies and deception you have lost trust in her and have resorted to watching the phone bill to see if she's being truthful/faithful to you.
There are a lot of trust issues in this relationship. If you do not trust that she is done with the affair and continue to check for yourself to catch her in more lies, then it's time to get out. It's unhealthy. If she cannot pull herself away from another man enough to show honor and love for you, then the relationship is not going to work.
Right now each of you is participating in this affair in a way that is destroying your relationship. If you wish to make it work, seek professional help. Otherwise, seek an attorney.
2007-09-21 15:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Luineannon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but you must get rid of her (I mean divorce her). When it's over you'll look back on this part of your life with utter disbelief at what she made you put up with. Trust me on this!
Keep the phone bill safe, btw. It will be useful as evidence if there's a legal battle.
I know that what I am saying sounds horrible, but this is a completely unacceptable place to be... you must end it now.
2007-09-22 10:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by Citizen Justin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear about your troubles...it looks like your wife came back to you but is still in phone contacts with this other guy if not more...i suggest you move on with your life. calling someone three or for times a day is too much to be just 2 people trying to move on with their lives. now he doesnt call at your home anymore because they know that you can see it on your phone bill but doesn't mean its over...just mean they are more careful now. i guess, she is not totally honest with you and as much as you love her, she is up to no good.......get rid of her!
2007-09-21 15:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by mr b 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude, take the blinders off. If she was totally with you there is no reason for her to be still talking with him. Where there's smoke, there's fire. You can bet on it that they are being in contact through some other avenue. She's hiding something and I wouldn't trust her at all.
2007-09-21 20:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
With her there is only one sure way to find out have your phone bugged and have a hidden camera put in the house also have someone follow her she broke your trust and still is in my opinion so get things checked out so you can have some peace.
2007-09-21 15:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that you love your wife and want to believe her but you are right..phone bills don't lie. And you have to face the facts. I think you should pray long and hard about where GOD wants you to be. Have you suggested counseling? You could go to.
2007-09-21 15:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie." Terry Goodkind
2007-09-21 15:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by rjrmpk 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Umm... you need to get out while you can. If you are willing to reconcile and shes not then its not worth it.
2007-09-21 15:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't put up with that crap. She obviously can't be trusted. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.
HUGS!
2007-09-21 15:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Linz ♥ VT 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋