how to get my teen to talk when something is bothering her?

Question

i try to tell her i am there for her when she wants to talk and that it would be good if she feels comfortable to talk about her problems with me, but she won't open up

something about school is bothering her but she won't talk to me about it

Answer 1

Just give her time. If you presure her she'll stray away more. Give her time and she'll probably come to you with her problems. Always let her know that your their for her, thats all you really can do, you can't force her to talk. If your really worried you could ask her best friend, but that might make her really angry, it'd be like going behind her back. If shes young its normal and as she gets older she'll open up to you more.

Answer 2

coming from a teen {I'm 15} if my mom were to approach me wanting to talk about my life she would have to come very, what's the word I'm looking for... i want to say correctly, but that sound kind of rude. Anyway, firstly, how close are you guys? If you argue and fuss all the time she most likely won't want to tell you her issues. However if you guys have a genuine mother/daughter relationship I say {my mom did this to me when she wants to talk and it works great} take her out to like a lil tea place or restaurant and talk over a light meal. Ease your way in though. You can't just bust out like "Hey what's the problem here!" All I'm saying is don't try to force it out of her, if you ask her nicely and calmly she'll probably obliged in the conversation. Oh, one more thing. If you don't want to go out to talk, you can also try talking to her after giving her something shes likes. For example go into her room with her favorite cookies and milk, ice cream, etc. and have begin light conversation and then work your way in. Anyway I hope everything works out. Hope this helps and good luck

Answer 3

Haha, you sound like my mom. Her name is Susan, too, and she's in her 40's...

We live in the US though...

Haha.

You sound exactly like her that its scary...hmmm...

She doesn't want to talk to you. Give it up. Don't bother her. I don't tell anybody but my friends about my problems. Why the hell would I tell my mom? She's an *******.


Do NOT do what the guy below be said. Seriously, I hate it when my parents do that. That is what makes me not trust them and that is the exact reason why I don't tell them anything. WHY CAN'T PARENTS UNDERSTAND?! Teenagers are actual human beings, too you know. Seriously, don't pressure her to talk or else she'll make something else up. Seriously, this is EXACTLY what I'm going through and I know how she feels.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T GO THROUGH HER STUFF! That's the last thing on EARTH you want to do. She will be able to find out, you know. I know my parents go through my things. I'll find that my laptop has been hacked into and papers all over the place or not where I left them. (My computer doesn't even have internet; they just want to read what I write!) Because I write a lot. They deny it, but I know they do. I'll tell my dad that someone hacked into my computer and he'll say, "It's all right." It's not like I was born stupid or something.

Answer 4

I would go to her and tell her she looks like something is bothering her. It may be nothing at all. She may be just tired. But, you have done what you could. You cant make her tell you whats bothering her if she is not ready to talk about it.

Answer 5

I agree completely an thoroughly with the 1st answer (Taxi) i propose, infants won't mature in the event that they don't look to be dealt with like adults; additionally, this is totally hypocritical to be quite strict with your toddler and cope with them like an "person" yet consult with them like a 5 year previous. Sorry for the rant, my mom and father are not in any respect like what i ranted lol... however my grandma talks to me like that, even however i'm 5-6 inches taller than her :/

Answer 6

Alot of teens and parents alike are going to disagree with my answer, but I'm going to write in anyway...
When your daughter is out or at school, go through her stuff, read her diary. Teens who are truly hiding something bad won't tell their parents. You have to go looking for what you want to know.
My mom did it to me, and for good reason. I was very angry with her at the time, but now I see her choice was the best to make when I wouldn't open up about my problems.

Answer 7

sometimes well most of the time its just not something you want to talk to with your mom about and it might just be wether or not someone likes her or something nothing major and she'll just talk to her friends but im sure if something serious happends she will tell you but you have to be relax if she fells that you are trying to get all over her life she wont tell you anything and she'll just go to someone else for help and you dont want that

Answer 8

Maybe if you talk about some of your school experiences she may think you wouldnt understand. If she hears that you had similiar experiences maybe she'll open up.

The best thing you are doing and have to continue to do is let her know your there for her, NO MATTER WHAT

Answer 9

well you could bring up some probelsm or something you had when growing up a t school sometimes that will help it could be boy problems and that is very upsetting for them young girls now days. its you have got to be there i had 4 sons all of which i coudl speak to and you can do it just keep trying take care.

Answer 10

I think the key si to make her feel comfortable. I tell my mom alot of thing's but if I know that she's gonna talk Sh*@, then I wont tell her. Moral of the story, make hew feel comfortable.