About a month ago me and my husband got into a really big fight he said that my kids (3 from a previous marriage) broke the blinds, so I checked them and said where are they broken he goes in and rips them off the window, so I called him an idiot, He then turns to me and says he hopes the baby in my stomach dies (I'm 6 1/2 mos pregnant with his baby) so my first reaction was I pushed him well he pushed me back and during the struggle I got a really bad bruise, so basically he says that I have no respect for him and that I should of never put my hands on him, and if I had him arrested he would have me arrested also. So now its been about a month and we are litterally living like roommates, one side of the fridge has his stuff, and the other side has mine. He doesn't speak to me at all we basically just sleep in the same bed together, and the problem is we both can't afford to live there by ourselves, so basically my ? is do I try to make things work between us or just let him be?
2007-09-21 06:29:50 · 24 answers · asked by shorte716 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok I know i shouldn't have pushed him, and believe me I'm not that kind of person, I apoligized numerous times, he said that he can go a whole year without talking to me until he forgives me.
2007-09-21 07:07:05 · update #1
I don't think you understand the seriousness of this situation. He broke the line when he pushed you back. I don't care if you pushed him first. First and foremost men do not get rough with a woman, let alone a pregnant woman. You should have called the cops on him. You are going to have to leave him as soon as possible. He is an abusive man, and its going to get worst. Abusive men get worst with time. He doesn't appear to have any respect for you. Ant to add insult to the injury, he wished bad upon he unborn child, he is a monster. Why would you want to spend another day with that cockroach. He doesn't love you, and the way I see it, he doesn't even like your kids. Please sweetie, do yourself and your kids a favor and walk out of that home before he does something worst. There are many places for abused and battered women, I am going to include some links for you to check. Good luck.
2007-09-21 08:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all im going to say may sound harsh so here it goes:
1.) when putting a hand on one another, u automatically lost respect for each other.
2.) kids will be kids, if ur hubby said that ur kids did this, u cant and shouldnt pick sides. they are both wrong!
3.) words DO hurt more than actions.
4.) if you know that this relationship has hit rock bottom, why work things out? just have an ADULT conversation, and end it with dignity.
5.) last but not least, a person should NEVER regret having a child, or neglect it! this can not only bring resentment from the other parent but the child as well
(lesson: keep ur legs closed,and ur penis in ur pants, if u dont want any children!)
honey, when there is absolutley no communication in a relationship, u know its over. its best to have ur separate ways, i really wish u the best!!
congrats on u baby!
â¥
2007-09-21 13:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO
you are not only putting yourself and your unborn baby in a very bad situation but your other children as well
you cant afford to live by yourself is not an excuse you cant at this point afford to live with the jerk
what about your mom dad family friends someone to help you get on your feet get out of there!!!! like yesterday
and don't worry about what he can afford he wished death upon your unborn child sound like your sleeping with the devil
do not try to make it work because by now he should have worked it out
and try not to instigate any more physical fights between you two you could go to jail if you hit first for domestic violence against a household member and more charges
especially if your kids are there that is Child abuse and they can be taken away from you
2007-09-21 13:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by summerbliss 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No the answer is take the two and a half kids and get the hell out of dodge. He obviously has some violent tendencies and soon they will erupt towards you again or worse towards the kids, especially since they are not his. Run as fast as you can to friends, family or a shelter.
If such a little matter can get him that angry, just imagine what would/will happen if something more serious happens. The kids break something of his for example.
He has a problem and should seek help as quickly as possible. But until he recognizes that he needs help there is nothing you can do except protect yourself and those kids. That has to be your prime concern at this point.
2007-09-21 13:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As your husband, he should treat your children like his children. If they indeed broke the blinds he should calmly talk to them with love, and talk to you about it. When you asked where the blinds were broken and he tore them down, he obviously showed he's immature, violent and wasn't really worried about the blinds. Then he WISHES HIS UNBORN BABY TO DIE?????
Hell no.
You need to leave this man... even if that means temporary time in a shelter or friend's house. You can get welfare or other assistance..it is NEVER right to stay with someone mentally unhealthy and physically violent.
If you stay it will be your new child putting up with behavior. I'm sure it's hard on your other three kids seeing this. Life is short..it isn't worth it being treated like crap. For you and your kid's sake (they're more important than a man), get out while you can.
2007-09-21 13:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You both need to get it together before you bring this child in the world. If that means going to counceling to find out the root to the problem, then do that. You don't have to pay an expensive psychologist, you can go to the pastor of your church or another clergy man, that's what they are there for. You need to do something fast though..no need for that baby to come out in this world with the 2 of his/her parents' having difficulties with each other. Thats not a good enviroment for the baby to be in. Go get help, NOW....don't wait till its too late sweetheart. Try salvaging it now!
2007-09-21 13:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by hartbreaker00003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he said some really hurtfull things to especially about the little baby he also hurt you to he cant get you arrested if you left no mark but its a diffrent story if he bruised you this is domestic violence in a way in the first place he shouldnt of laid a finger on you especially while your pregnant i think you should seriously think about starting a new life i know this would be difficult for you with the kids but you dont need this at all by all means i dont know him but i would even think about some guidence in the relationship if you cant leave he could be feeling stressed with everything but please if he does it again leave him for good i hope you find the right answer in your heart but remember to be strong for all your babies and im sure your a really good mum good luck hun
2007-09-21 13:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by melody3470 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he is a real piece of work, and owes you an apoligy for the way he treated you and the unborn child.....He probably can't handle the situation and if you don't talk and find out where it stands it will not work at all, you will get tired of living like that...it is un healthy.....if he wants to work it out and get on with your life, that's great, but you have to set ground rules down, and don't let him disrespect you......Ask him what are we going to do? Where are we going from here?? It is a start.. Good Luck!!!!!!!!
2007-09-21 13:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well... i think when a relatioship gets on phisicall there is no respect anymore. I had the same situation with my ex and I ended up in Jail. The same day he said he loved me. So, think about it?!! You should see what is the most important thing to you right now... your stupid husband or your baby!
Just get out of it!!!
Dont let him say things like that!!!
2007-09-21 13:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by Ana Paula 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to be honest...once he said that horrible thing about you unborn baby and then pushed you back, knowing that could cause problems with the baby, i would have left!! go to a friends house or family....let him realize what he did and said was very hurtful!!
but i do think it was wrong for you to put your hands on him also!!
if you think that will never happen again, then i say try to work it out but that's up to you girl!!
good luck!
2007-09-21 13:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by New York Chic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋