and constantly yelling at the kids?
Talking has done nothing for the past 13 years. Where to go from here?
2007-09-21 06:19:15 · 12 answers · asked by mrs O 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lordvader LOL! One headache at a time, thank you. he he
2007-09-21 06:23:40 · update #1
Weekends off, mood is far worse. Our vacations have dwindled to nothing for the past 2 years.
2007-09-21 07:26:25 · update #2
((((((Zalem))))))
2007-09-21 10:03:24 · update #3
If nothing seems to work then it is time for a divorce. Why live miserably with someone that doesn't even care for you? I always say, that it is better to be alone than to be with someone that makes you miserable. You said it yourself, talks won't work, vacations to happen any more. So what's left. A divorce lawyer. Working hard is never an excuse. I have worked hard all my life, I I used to love to come home to my wife and kids when we were happy. We are separated now, but we live in the same house, separate rooms. And I still love to come home to spend time with my son and daughter. So if his excuse is work, he is busted. You deserve to be happy, if he doesn't make you happy, it is time to move on. You'll find a guy that would care and love you unconditionally. Don't let him make your life a living nightmare. Good luck.
2007-09-21 08:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that someone has already recommended this, but you could always try counseling. Then again, at some level that's simply more talking, which it sounds like you have already done.
I once read somewhere that "people in denial are deaf to words, the only respond to pain and loss." That was how it was for me. I worked 70+ hours a week and that really drove my relationship with my wife and kids to the edge. But upon seeing that there were consequences to my actions I was able to start the hardwork of repairing the damage I had caused.
All of this depends on whether your husband recognizes there is a problem and is willing to work on it.
2007-09-21 06:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by longtuesday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. There is no excuse for that. If he loves his job more than his family, he doesn't deserve to have either.
But if he's working hard in the name of supporting you and your family, you need to simply make time to be together somehow.
There is hope, however. I know a couple in a similar situation. The one thing that helped is God.
Before you close the door on me, hear me out.
If you're receptive, a church in your area probably offers a "bible study" called Men's Fraternity (http://www.mensfraternity.com). It has some biblical elements to it, but it's also designed for non-believers as well.
It's a great study to help a guy figure out what his priorities should be and how to juggle all the things he has going on in his life.
I went through it and my wife can't wait for the second round, seeing as how it made that much of a difference in our lives.
Good luck. I hope you're able to get resolution, one way or the other. But don't give up hope because it's always there. It just takes a commitment to making it work.
2007-09-21 06:28:22 · answer #3 · answered by samans442 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once in a while we all get cranky - especially if we are overworked. But to totally ignore you? Nope, not right. Constantly yelling at the kids? Hmmm, you may want to delve a little deeper into this, but it sounds like it's been going on for a long time. Bottom line - you can't change him. You can only change yourself. Where do you go from here? Get yourself strong - be there for the kids - encourage him to get his act together - but take care of you!
2007-09-21 06:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by Bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You man needs an outlet. If he comes home and is tired see what you can do so he can relax. Give him an hour or so to mellow out and then make it obvious that you are wanting a little attention. Have a night for the two of you... or a night in!! Tell him how you feel afterwards... we are usually more honest after. He may feel that you don't understand him and that creates even more stress. Last resort get professional help. Best of Luck.
2007-09-21 06:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by L A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked 18hrs a a day for 6 days a week for years and then had to do yard work, car washing, etc, on sundays....I felt totally drained and irratable and half the time I didnt know where I was....it tends to take a hard toll on a person....all I wanted was peace and quiet and left alone to rest when I could.....good luck
2007-09-21 06:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is he like on vacation? If he's "normal" then he needs to reconsider why he has a job when it affects his family this way. If he is still the same person away from work on a holiday than it sounds like he's using it as an excuse for his behavior.
2007-09-21 07:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, work stress can put a major strain on your personal life. I recommend a week in Jamaica or maybe a weekend away from reallity for just the two of you.
2007-09-21 06:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by onherandoffher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The to be ex use to do this, it got worse after my daughter was born, 22 years ago, just a thought, divorce him life is to damn short to put up with B/S. I put up with his crap for 30 years, no more.
2007-09-21 06:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Mama sorry to hear that. I think discussion is important in this matter. take a vacation together all the family. escaping is not a solution, this is my simple opinion.
(((Mama)))
2007-09-21 08:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋