Why do *many* (not saying all) at home moms feel entitled to boss around their husband to do cleaning chores after they get home from working 8 hours?
It doesn't take 8 hours to vaccume and wash dishes and do a few loads of laundry. I can do these chores (house-wide) in about 3 hours (yes I have kids). Then I have another 5 hours to PLAY (not work) with my kids. I take a break anytime I want. I have no deadlines to meet. I am never worried I'll be out of a job, or that I'll be reprimanded for a sub-par job (okay, so I didn't put away the dishes, and I didn't vaccume under the rugs!) My husband would never (even dream) reprimand me for lack of perfection.
What is it with some at home moms? Is it that they just don't see all the things a man does at work or emotions he feels in his heart?
2007-09-21 05:27:25 · 29 answers · asked by Xanadu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
**when I say "full time husbands: I refer to the idea that he is employed full time**
2007-09-21 05:28:04 · update #1
i'm a husband/dad and have been the stay home parent too....both during the school year and over summer vacation. we have 6 kids all 13yrs and younger. so i'm not fooled by this 24/7 crap. i loved being home because it was rewarding. but some moms are just full of themselves with this...never a sick day always working BS. Like other jobs some people are better at it than others. I got breaks and got to relax and still had a clean home etc.
and if you get no help from a spouse and even take care of them when they are sick with no reciprocation....quit confusing being a good mom/wife with being a door mat.
And when it comes to working outside the home...who the heck only works 8 hours anymore? Not many. You think we wake up, snap our fingers and we're at work. There's getting ready and commute time, etc. It's not like those of us who work outside the home have all that extra time for ourselves.
which ever of us (me or my wife) was the stay home parent....it was our main job to take care of the home, run the kids here and there, cook, clean. Whichever of us was working outside didn't call home to have the other come help us at our jobs.
some moms have to get over themselves.....
2007-09-21 08:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I agree with you.
Maybe these stay-at-home-moms are lazy, that's why they stay at home. That would explain their wanting the husband to help out around the house.
Now, I have a friend who has 5 children age 4 - 12 that she home schools. IN that situation, where she has school for about 6 hours each day, I could see where she might need a little help around the house...that and the fact that laundry alone for a family of 7 could really take an entire day.
Otherwise, I don't know why stay-at-home-moms expect their husbands who work full-time to help around the house.
2007-09-21 05:36:20 · answer #2 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
On one hand, I understand what you are saying. I know women who don't work, their house is always dirty, they rarely cook, they have piles of laundry and don't take care or do anything with their children at all while their husband is out working and supporting them.
On the other hand, I know that being a Mom and the main caregiver/housekeeper, whether you work or not, is a full time, 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year job. The husband working 8 hour five days a week, doesn't come close.
I think he should have some chores and some expectations at home as well. They are his children and it is his home too. My husband and I both worked. His responsibility around the house was to mow the yard and to take care of up keep and maintenance on the cars. We divided up events, appointments etc. with the kids as best and fairly as we could.
In the end, it is about everyone doing their share and working as a team.
2007-09-21 05:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Each partner is providing. One, the income and the other, the childcare and housework. Running a home is done 24 hours a day, not 8. There's nothing wrong with getting some help out of your husband with those things. Plus, housework can be pretty monotonous and thankless. It's tough being the only one to do that! Also, it helps that the husband knows how and when these things need to be done, in case something happens to you and you can't do it. I'm a single mom and do it by my self plus earning the income. I could use some help in both areas once in a while!
2007-09-21 05:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well when you get done patting yourself on the back, please keep in mind that you don't represent all women. I'm glad you have the tools you do, and your husband has enough income to support his family. However while mine worked full time, his job didn't even come close to paying the bills. I mean the real bills, like power and water, let alone insurance. I was at home full time, and did all that you are doing as well as sold various products from home, babysat other kids and when the kids started going to school, I cleaned other peoples houses. We lived in an apartment and drove a 15yr old car (yes, we only had one car). This was less than 20yrs ago.
So the lesson for you today is humility. Thank god for your blessings and stop taking them for granted. If your husband, god forbid, is killed on his way home from work, what happens to your pride?
2007-09-21 05:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay-at-home mom's should do the majority of the housework - that's their "job." However, if you put children into the mix, that's a group decision and I don't believe the husband should come home and plop himself down on the couch after work. Children aren't chores - they are people and they need attention from both parents. If little Molly or Bobby sees Dad sitting on his butt every night and mommy slaving away at the stove, helping with homework, getting the kids ready for bed, etc., he or she is going to draw conclusions about gender roles and inequity that will not help him or her when they start dating. If dad doesn't believe his job is to help with the children - and thereby help mom - then the couple shouldn't have children to begin with.
2007-09-21 05:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are OUT OF THEIR MINDS THAT'S WHAT! I work like a dog all day, pay ALL the bills and I have to do house work too? Forget that noise! I'll certainly do some stuff (homework, fatherly duties, trash, yard work) but I'm not about to come home from work and put in another shift at home and there's an adult already there.
She can get a job and start helping with the bills, then we can start talking about sharing the full work load.
2007-09-21 05:34:25 · answer #7 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some women have men who behave like their children. It is hard work keeping a home. A few men I know come home, leave a trail of clothes and belongings, demanding to be fed. Women need to feel that they are creating a home WITH their partner. This means a little work from all family members. Most women just want their men to be respectful of the work their wives have done and try not to go out of their way making more work for them! Sometimes the at home spouse gets no praise or thank you or an atta boy, much less a check. The husband in this situation gets those things and conversations with adults. Like everything else, the grass always LOOKS greener........
2007-09-21 05:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by Really now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never ask my husband to help out. I work P/T, have one kid, go to school and I keep the house up and running. The only time we did chores together was when we were still both active duty and our son was newborn. I know my husband works hard all day and because of him I really don't have to work. The least I can do is have a nice home for him to come home to.
2007-09-21 05:36:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband does not know how to cook, and never has to do housework. I do everything for him , and my 4 kids. He is Portuguese, I am Spanish and it's the way we were raised. He works about 60 hours a week, and I work about 30 hours a week outside of the home, but that's why he treats me like his Queen, because I take care of him.
2007-09-21 05:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by Gipsyfire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋