My girlfriend insisted that she is the one who knows more about household issues and she should hire an exterminator for termites... So she did... Some fat guy showed up with no uniform, no tools, but just with a rolled-up magazine. I was furious because my credit card was already charged. So I called him a crook and told him to get the hell out. Then I called a better company to do the job... My girlfriend is still mad because "I emphasized her inability to do things and exerted my macho power." What did I do wrong?
2007-09-21 04:49:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
The broad should listen to you....
2007-09-21 19:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by steve.57343 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she feels that homemaking and keeping house are her domain, and you overruled her and kicked the queen off her throne by going over her head with another exterminator. I don't think you were wrong for wanting to call in a professional, though.
Since you want a say, as well, why don't the two of you sit down and decide things that that together? Make it a joint decision. She'll likely be glad that you take an interest and want to help her, and you get a chance to have some input without giving her the impression that you don't feel she's a good housekeeper.
2007-09-21 11:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by SOS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is just what happened
if you do not embellish what happened
no problem
what did i do wrong is about the story you added to what happened and not about what ACTUALLY happened
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED was this:
your girlfriend said that she is the one who knows more about household issues and she should hire an exterminator for termites
she did
a guy showed up with no uniform, no tools, but just with a rolled-up magazine.
your credit card was already charged.
you called him a crook and told him to get the hell out
you called a second company to do the job...
that is all that happened
the rest is embellishment
2007-09-21 12:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
A similar situation (with totally different circumstances) happened with my wife and a menacing raccoon. She insisted that we hire a "professional" to trap the coon, as I was inept (or so she implied).
Acquiescing (something women love for men to do), I hired a 60-year old derelict who showed up with a raccoon trap even more decrepit than he was.
Two weeks and $180 later, we caught nothing.
I built my own trap, put the bait in at 10PM and at 10:15, I caught the coon.
But I guess I was just lucky.
2007-09-21 12:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it she didn't go with a reputable company. Demand your money back on the credit card.
But how did you handle it? If you talk to her like you do to some of us on this here board, I can kinda understand where she is coming from. Did you make it seem like it was stupidest thing she has ever done, or did you say thanks but no thanks?
It depends on how you handled the situation with her as to how she took it.
SUGGESTION - tell her you appreciate her efforts but you didn't like the looks of the guy she called so you called someone else.
Also, in order to not take over - give her the name of the company you want to go with and have her call it to set up the appointment.
2007-09-21 11:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Done 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who owns the house? Whose name is on the papers? If it was her house., you should have let her make the decision,and only given your opinion.
How do you know the guy was a crook? Was he there to give an estimate? if so, he wouldn't need any tools.
Your girlfriend was right. You're controlling and ran roughshod over her.
Pack your bags and move out...
2007-09-21 12:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is more of a "relationship" issue than a gender issue. It's one of those situations where you BOTH seem to have disrespect for the other's feelings. She went ahead and called the guy against your wishes, then you kicked him out and called ANOTHER guy against HER wishes. A real power struggle is going on, clearly. You should both set limits and things like that so that you'll both have power. Discuss things until they're resolved. Don't just act. She needs to feel like your partner (just like you need to feel like her's.) This means you make decisions TOGETHER.
2007-09-21 12:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by Kinz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because she's an immigrant, you can't expect her to know any better. Stop whining. She tried. And because she doesn't like you (she's your girlfriend now, not your fiancee? Good), what difference does it make? You shouldn't have given her your credit card number. It'd not about "power," it's about "stupidity."
2007-09-21 11:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's being childish and making something out of nothing...
And I gotta tell you...based upon the questions and answers I've seen from you, I would never have suspected that you would be involved with someone like that...
2007-09-21 13:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your girlfriend's fault that some idiot showed up to do the job. How was she to know that would happen? It sounds like you made her feel like a fool- you bruised her ego, for something that wasn't her fault. I don't blame you for telling the guy to hit the road and calling someone else. But just remember, that could've happened to you just as easily as it happened to her.
Maybe you should've allowed her to get rid of him and let her call someone else to do the job. Then she wouldn't feel like you don't trust her ability to handle the situation herself. (And I'm sure she probably could have handled it just fine if you had let her.)
2007-09-21 11:56:48 · answer #10 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You did the right thing. What else are you supposed to do with a problem? You fix it. You could have done the exact some thing in two weeks and she would have cooked you dinner. It's just time for her to be mad. If it wasn't this, it would have been something else. Just say sorry and hug her.
2007-09-21 11:54:47 · answer #11 · answered by Tim 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋