Please Advise?

Question

My best friend is a 57 year old male. I am an 18 year old female. For the past month we have been exclusively dating. We are fine with the situation and very respectful of others. More recently his friends have voiced great negativity and have even threatened to disown him should he continue seeing me this way. Under much pressure, he has decided to break up with me (no fault of my own), and "reevaluate" the situation. He has known me a while and we do love eachother, so we still talk. He has decided that we can continue our relatinship if a number of people say, 'yeah this is weird, but you are both adults who have to face the consequences of your actions. We dont like it, but we dont think either of you are bad people in doing this.' His friends mentioned that he is stealing my life. He is not. I am not blind, I am very clear as to want I would like to experiment. Without sarcasm, is he just wrong, or should we be allowed to try and see for ourselves? Please be serious.

When I say, is he just wrong, I mean, is he morally wrong for dating me?

Answer 1

To be honest it does not sound like a good situation to stay in. Although age shouldn't matter, I think in your case it may play a little role. You are only 18, and have 3/4 or more of your life left. You have so much to experience and having someone who is almost 40 years older than you is eventually going to limit those experiences.
The companionship I am sure is a very positive thing in your life, but you really need to ask yourself where you would like the relationship to go. No matter what you decide to do, if the two of you really care for each other, he will always be there for you.`

Answer 2

You can't know his true feelings. Only you can know the relationship. The things I would question in your situation are:
1. Why would he choose someone almost 40 years younger than him?
--can he date women his age?
--are you two honestly in the same place in your lives?

2. Why would you choose someone older?
--What does he bring to the relationship for you?

Lust will fade. Can you imagine yourself a widow at 20? I'm not judging. It is very possible that you two are made for each other, but dating a man so much older is out of the norm and if you have to question his motives, and your own, are you sure this is the path you want for your life? What is he replacing?

Answer 3

Wow.... I always just wonder what men that old want with girls in their teens or early 20's..... other then sex.

Personally, I think that an age gap that big is wrong. Your not even close to the same stages in life.

There's nothing wrong with being friends. But I draw the line at dating and any type of sexual contact.

Answer 4

There's no rules about love or who you care about, or even who you want to spend time with.

His friends are just jealous of him, and looking to ruin what you both have going.

I hope you both work it out, I've seen a few relationships like yours before. It'll be a very good life experience for you.

Answer 5

YOUR AN ADULT,SO NO ITS NOT WRONG. IF YOU WERE YOUNGER I WOULD SAY HES A PERVERT. BUT YOU CANT HELP WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH. MY BEST FRIEND WAS 19 WHEN SHE MARRIED HER HUSBAND WHO WAS 53. HE DIED AT 58 CUZ HE GOT SICK. THATS THE ONLY BAD THING ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE THATS ALOT OLDER THAN YOU,THEY CAN GET SICK. BUT I KNOW ANYONE CAN DIE AT ANY AGE. I WISH YOU TWO THE BEST.

Answer 6

I'm sorry but that's just repulsive, he's old enough to be your father. Seriously he's a sick pedophile. You need to date somebody your own age.

Answer 7

If he is worried about what others say and is looking for their approval - he is wrong. If he cared enough about you no one would be able to sway him.