If you where in a group of friends and their was a blow up between you and another member. She has always been the more outwardly emotional person. So most people thought she took it harder then you.
Now here is the rub. The other members of the group have told you that they need to spend time with her because of this and that if they spend time with you she finds it very upsetting.
My problem is. It has now been 2 months and they are saying it will be at least another month till we can start doing things again. My problem is I'm thinking I don't want them back. This whole thing has me feeling like a second rate friend or to truely doubt if we where even friends in the first place. I'm okay with the time they spend with her. What I'm not okay with is the cold sholder.
Am I reading more into this then I should or am I feeling like most people would.
2007-09-21 03:33:13 · 10 answers · asked by Just a Guy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
well that doesn't sound very cool. it sounds like your friends are enabling the behavior of the other friend. so she will continue to use her emotions as a way to manipulate and get what she wants. it sounds like your friends are very codependant. do what you need to do for yourself. stand up for yourself and let them know how you feel. then move on if needs be.
2007-09-21 03:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by plastik punk -Bottom Contributor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There shouldn't bea time limit on when they will be able to hang out with you again...that should never have been a stipulation in the first place. It sounds as though the other person is manipulating the friends and she is letting them. This should be between the two of you....not all of you. You are feeling just as I would...I don't think you are reading more into this than you should. When tough situations arise, and you need your friends the most, and they are not there for you, pretty much sets the pace for how true the relationships are.
Good luck with your new friends!
2007-09-21 03:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Brownie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a new group of friends would be the right idea. Find some friends that you can start from fresh with and learn new things about. Find new hangouts and if your old friends want to come back in a month, tell them since they thought she was a more important friend then you, you found new friends. But still talk to them once in awhile, don't lose them completly. I still think its stupid that they babied her, and tottally ingnored you.
2007-09-21 03:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The test of a friendship is both in your hands.. you must decide whether you go or stay.. thats the reality if they will not accept you as a group.. then look for other friends who is really deserving for your attention after all you are not the one who damage that friendship you originally built 4 them... its their lost not yours! i experienced that already so i know where to place myself if you feel like you are out of their place anymore just stand tall and ignore they are not worth for you as a friend..... i have a lot of group friends but ill choose 1 who is really a true friend 4 last.. just be yourself and continue to enjoys others one company thats the best thing you can do
2007-09-21 04:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by blue_prince23 P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, sooner or later everyone runs into the ultimatum that goes "If you remain friends with X, then you can't be friends with me".
There can be no doubt that the person who has this force upon them must choose the one who did not issue this ultimatum.
Your friends chose wrong. (The cowardly choice, to put it bluntly)
This does not necessarily mean that they are rotten people. But it is one good yardstick to measure them by.
2007-09-21 03:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by Robert K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw them I would find some new friends to hang with. They are showing favoritism to this other person without any regard as to how you feel about it. And for good measure I would punch them all in the frickin ear.
2007-09-21 03:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by carpdog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you and this girl had a falling out, it's not the "group's" problem... it's between you and the girl.
these people are insane! and they have a skewed idea of other people and their issues.
when you have a blow up with someone, it's between you and the other person, not you and the group.
maybe find other friends who aren't twisted.
2007-09-21 03:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a dysfunctional group of friends you have a drama queen and a group of enablers
find a group of new friends that are more mature
2007-09-21 03:38:55 · answer #8 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should talk with them and let them know your feelings on the matter. if not, it's just going to errupt into something else
2007-09-21 03:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by Miss. Know It All 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to them. tell them it hurt u too and them not spending time wit u hurts u even more
2007-09-21 03:36:30 · answer #10 · answered by *blink* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋