a long time ago?

Question

how can you justify a betrayal of friends and former girlfriend. it happened a long time ago and they're all gone from my life. but the fact still remains that i was betrayed and nothing ever came back to them for it. i know its just a move on, forgive, forget, etc. but what if it still makes you mad even years later?

Answer 1

You answer your own question. :-)

You really need to let go. Eventually we all pay for our mistakes and errors in one way or another. Some times the people that are hurt the most will never know or see the consequences of the actions of those who hurt them.

Life is too short and there is too much to do, learn, and people to love, and by keeping these feelings you are probably missing out on some great experiences in your life.

Life is like a book, if you keep reading the same page over and over, you will never get to the ending, and we all know all books have happy endings, and if they don't?, hey, is our book, we can always re-write the ending.

Take this betrayal as one of the many lessons in life, write it in your book of life, learn from it, turn the page, and live life to the fullest.

Good luck -

T.

Answer 2

Hopefully you can use the experience as a life lesson learned the hard way but that you also realize that it's not true for all people. Betrayal like that can take a long time to get over but try not to let it haunt you. Everyone has been betrayed in their life, but you have to try to take it as an opportunity and not let it destroy you.

Also, you may think that it never came back to them but if you haven't been in contact, you don't know that for sure. It always comes back and eventually they will get the short end of the stick. Live a good life, be happy, and that is the best revenge you can hope for.

Answer 3

People tend to reap what they sow. If those who hurt you do that kind of thing as a way of life, there will be consequences. There has likely already been consequences related to hurting you -- so don't assume they got off scott free. But that's all pretty irrelevant when you consider the harm you're doing to yourself by not letting go.

You asked how you can justify their betrayal: You can't. They can't.

Close the door behind you and step off the porch.

Answer 4

You can not justify it, they have. Of course you will forgive if you have not already, do that for you, but you will never forget.
Just because you may have moved on and forgiven does not mean past anger will not arise because betrayal is betrayal and it is a hard thing to just forget it.

Answer 5

I have dealt with the same thing--my lst husband, this is in 70's, cheated with several, lost his job, etc.--I tried to keep it together, but he would not stop, we were divorced.

I never forgot what he did and how he hurt me---I just always remembered, certain behaviors mean certain things going on.

I think I have put this in the past and realized that if you dont let go, you can miss a lot of life and be bitter. You just have to learn to discern---to be wise---learn to back away from people when they give you the first signs that they cannot be trusted. Trust your gut feeling---it usually is right about what's good for you. Realize if one door shuts---many more positive ones will open, if you let it. You have been hurt---life was not fair---but, that's part of life---it is not fair, at times, and its that way with a lot of people!!!!

Realize that all problems are not ALL YOUR FAULT---they were the result of a lot of mean people---put the blame where it belongs and learn from it. Put your head up, learn from mistakes and move ahead.

Answer 6

I am not sure how to help you let go, but if you feel it hinders your ability to have relationships now, then you might seek counseling.

My advice is to remember that the person who does the betraying is the person who is to blame. If you find yourself thinking about mistakes that could have caused this person to betray you, then that is very non-productive. Remember, they are the problem, not you.

If betrayal is their lifestyle...they will pay long-term. If it was a one-time mistake, then maybe you should forgive them for being human.

Answer 7

You don't know if nothing ever came back to them for it, as you put it. Maybe it has, maybe not. It's hard to let go of a grudge but I always say, live as happily as you can and enjoy life, if you want revenge well that's about as best as they come.

Try wishing them well, you'll love the feel of the weight of the resentment lifted.

Answer 8

You need to learn to let go completely....If not its only going to continue to stress you out.....Just because you haven't phyiscally seen their revenges doesn't mean karma hasn't paid them a visit....You shouldn't even be concern with whats going on in their lifes....I know it sucks when someone you trusted betrays you but, in the long run they only betrayed themselves.....Your better off not having anything to do with them while they are reflecting on the screwed up mistakes they made.....

Answer 9

I know what you mean. The love of my life - together almost 10yrs.- husband, cheated, insisted he wasn't (have phone records & pics to prove it). Got mad at me, asked to separate on account that I didn't beleive him, now blames it all on me. It has been nearly 3yrs, still burns my a** up to think about it. However, I've had priveledge of knowing that his life really sucks, somehow this helps me put it all into perspective.

Answer 10

I wish there was some way to just block out unwanted hurt that harbors inside of you, but only time lessens the blow. Because the worst part is, it affects all future relationships. You just have to keep telling yourself you are lucky to have found out who your true friends are, and usually it does come back to 'bite them'! You may not hear of it, but it does! Just know you were better than they! (I do wish I had got counseling just to talk it out, however).