I didn't even know such a thing existed until I got married, but now it's something I think about often. Is this something you've ever dealt with? The idea that sometimes at work or in social situations you form a bond that is too strong with someone of the opposite sex? The challenge, I think, is when your spouse does not share the same interests. For instance, I'm a writer and my wife is not a huge fan of talking about the nuances of book publishing. So when another female wants to discuss this in detail, I have to be very careful about what parts of my heart I open up to her.
So my question is, have you ever had an emotional affair?
How did it end?
2007-09-21 03:19:36 · 13 answers · asked by longtuesday 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. Nothing came of it, but it made me realize how much love and caring was missing from the relationship with my husband. I felt neglected, so I seeked out other people who would care about me. It made me come to the decision of being happy and leaving my ex. I am now very happy. :)
2007-09-21 03:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. I have. And though the person and I still talk on occassion, we basically fell apart.
We are both married and live miles apart. We share similar interests and a drive that our spouses do not share. The 'affair' became more than emotional and more involved. When he decided that he wanted more and not just from me, it helped me to view what was really happening.
I immediately called my husband and cried to him about what I was seeing happen to our marriage. Because I felt the need to seek out the affections and understandings of another individual to fill the gaps I felt he left open, I feared our marriage would soon end.
The 'affair' has ended and I've been trying to patch up my marriage. We still have our issues, but I'm finding better ways to deal with it.
I too am a writer, and an illustrator, and rather than going to the individual I had the emotional affair with, I've joined groups and other clubs to share my enthusiasm with. Perhaps this would be a healthier alternative for you.
2007-09-21 03:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by Luineannon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, and it will tear your marriage apart. After my husband had cheated on me, I thought that it would help to get online and talk to someone about what I was going through. That is when my emotional affair began. And that is all that is was.
We would talk everyday and one day I was having a really bad day. We had been friends for a year (Online-still to this day I have never met or seen him). We decided to exchange cell numbers because things at my house were getting really scary. He calls me on my way home from work. I didnt answer it because I knew I shouldnt. He left me a message. And since that day we havent talked alot. Just a hi and that's it.
Its so easy to do. You dont even realize whats going on until one night you are at home fixing dinner or laying in bed watching tv with your spouse and then they are on your mind.
Avoid this, it will tear your marriage as well as your mind apart
2007-09-21 04:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't open that book. Ever.
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Proverbs 6 - Warning Against Adultery
20 My son, keep your father's commands
and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For these commands are a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and the corrections of discipline
are the way to life,
24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.
25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,
26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
29 So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.
33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away;
34 for jealousy arouses a husband's fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.
YOU SHOULD REALLY LOOK AT THIS SITE BELOW. IT IS A GOOD READ. IT TALKS ABOUT THE VERY THING YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/8036/your-friends-scare-me
2007-09-21 03:41:47 · answer #4 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I had an emotional affair. It lasted for 6 months. I was communicating with a man I was in love with 20 years ago. We had contact only by e-mail, we never saw each other in person, but the emotions were there, and were very strong.
I told him about 8 weeks ago that we had to stop writing because I believe that what I was doing was cheating on my husband, even though the man and I never had any physical contact. Fortunately he has respected my request that he not write to me anymore.
I know that I was writing to him because I was lonely. My husband has to travel extensively for his job, and I am usually home alone with my 3 children. But there are more constructive ways for me to spend my time, and I'm still in the process of finding other interests.
It's been an extremely painful experience, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. The one thing I can be thankful for is that my husband never found out about it. He doesn't deserve that kind of pain.
If you talk to another female about your interests, please, be very careful. It doesn't take much for your heart to cross the line, and I'm sure you don't want to hurt your wife.
2007-09-21 03:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by J Mack 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i haven't had an emotional affair and i don't want to experience one. But one of my friends who was from sugarmommymeet.com had experienced one and he gave me a lesson. Emotional affair and physical affair are still cheating. But emotional affair even worse. Nobody wants his husband stay with her and thinking all day long about someone else. Even making love to her and fantasize about another woman. That's sad. Then it will never be found out, if he never tell . But if physical cheating, soon or later the truth will come out. At least I know not to waste anymore time. For you family you 'd better stop it.
2007-09-21 15:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes. I met him at the gym. I didn't pay him any mind until it started. He gave me alot of attention, agressive eye contact, winks, compliments, watched me constantly, and I mean constantly. Finally it worked because I became so attracted to him. I started looking for him on days he wasn't there. And when he wasn't I'd think about him. He definately had my attention. I knew it was wrong cuz we were both married, I saw his ring and I always wear mine. So I am sure he knew as well. We barely spoke to one another but finally introduced ourselves very uncomfortably. We didn't know each other but wanted to and couldn't. The attraction we had for each other was stimulating. All I wanted was to touch him one time, just a kiss would have been enough (I think). Out of the blue one day he comes up to me and told me he wanted to take me on a trip with him, but his wife was going and she would get mad (said it kiddingly of course), but if she wasn't he would like for me to be with him. I was so shocked by this that I said I wouldn't want to make her mad. What did I say that for??????? He agreed with my response and we laughed it off. Anyway, I decided this will never go anywhere cuz I am not having an affair and neither is he. So to forget him was to change my hours a bit from my daily routine. It worked, I saw less and less of him, but I still run into him about once a week or two weeks, and he stares endlessly at me still, and always says hello, but the passion in his deep brown eyes is gone. I have seen him with his wife and he has seen me with my husband. The attraction makes us feel guilty because when we have seen each other with our spouses we chose not to acknowledge one another. Its amazing for the most part we never spoke but briefly yet seemed to have the most powerful emotional connection. I will always remember him and how he made me feel. I will never regret it because it never turned physical.
Be careful with your emotions they CAN turn physical and so many people could get hurt including yourself.
Just enjoy but be sure to have a hold on it.
2007-09-21 04:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by Maria 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, emotional affairs do exist. But please be careful they can grow into something more......... like "sexual affair", even though you may love your spouse and would never betray them intentionally, but it is also refreshing to find someone who enjoy the same interests as you. For instance, I love to go to the bookstore (maybe 4 times a week) & I have asked my fiance' numerous of times to accompany me. He feels that he could be doing something more productive, so he always opt not to accompany me. One evening I met this guy there and we have had several intimate conversations, and I couldn't wait to go back.
As I mentioned in my second sentence PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
Oh, how did it end? It hasn't........ ;-)
2007-09-21 03:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by con par 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife had a emotional affair and put our family through much hurt. It's something you don't mean for to happen, but if you don't guard yourself you slowly lose control of the situation. Stop entertaining these thoughts, put them out of your head and focus on the one who's been there for you all these years.
Even though my wife came to her sences I'm still messed up from it. It's not worth it and I know she deeply regrets it, but it still sucks.
2007-09-21 03:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by Phil 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes i have and caught it happened while in the process of breaking up a long time ago, no excuse i would never do it again i do understand what you are saying. maybe before this happens talk to your wife and get the spark back before you do something you will regret unles you love your wife no more.
2007-09-21 03:31:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋