I let my husband go out last night to the club because this group that he really likes was going to be there. We're currently separated and trying to work things out. He was going home early since he had to go to work today and get up at 5:30am. He said he would call me and he never did and hasn't since yesterday evening. That's weird of him because he always always calls.
Right now I'm just so angry with him because so many things go through my head like (what if he took some girl home and that's why he didn't call me) just all kinds of crazy thoughts.
I thought I did trust him, that's why I let him go in the first place.
Any help would be appreciated.
2007-09-21 02:44:30 · 23 answers · asked by ~Mommy*of*3~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it sounds like you might not trust him as much as you thought. You are going to have to ask him and see what he says. I am sure you will be able to tell if he is lying or not. Ask him to his face that way you can read it. Don't ask over the phone. I hear what you are saying though. If he normally calls you and didn't I would be wondering myself what is up.....good luck
2007-09-21 02:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When a marriage separates, it invites new experiences with new people into both of your lives. You should have known that when you separate you are giving him the opportunity to meet new women and explore new avenues. If your still in love with him, then you should be working things out while still living together. You should only separate if the marriage is over and then it wouldn't matter what he did. If you still love each other then stay together and get help with a marriage counselor. Make sure you look around for the right counselor which is someone that is easy for you both to talk to. Go to this counselor one at a time and then together. It does work.
2007-09-21 09:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know ur background, but if u r separated he knows he does not need ur permission and he also knows he does not need to check in with u.
He is going to make u feel guilty by telling u that there i no trust and that you need to get over it. Men are good at that.
All I can tell u is that u need to realize the kind of man u married and love him or leave him. If there was trust u would not be wondering. And if there was any kind of respect your mind would not be racing the way it is because he would not want to worry u....
2007-09-21 09:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by June Gem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't jump to conclusions until you hear from him. It would have been considerate of him to call you since you two are trying to work things out, but his reason for not calling could be a valid one. Maybe he lost track of time and by the time he thought about calling it was too late and he didn't want to wake you. It's really loud in clubs, and maybe he wanted to wait until later today to call you so he could have a good conversation. Just wait and see. Good luck sweetie:)
2007-09-21 10:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by casey308 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you said your separated so I am wondering why he would need permission to go anywhere. Even if you were still married he shouldn't need permission. In marriage you still have to have time for yourself with friends etc. Just because he didn't call you, you are having trust issues now? Grow up. If you keep this behavior up, he will never come back.
2007-09-21 10:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it.
Going out with the guys is not working things out with you.
Saying he'll call and not calling is not working things out with you.
You don't trust him; perhaps you shouldn't. Maybe that's part of the reason you're separated.
Maybe you're unreasonable and have no basis for distrust.
Whatever it is, you'll get nowhere by not communicating. It might be a good idea to go to counseling if you truly want this marriage to work out.
2007-09-21 09:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly you have to realize that you are separated. Even if you are trying to work things out, essentially you all have said that you can lead your separate lives.
Beyond that, you have trust issues with him. Don't know if that's what led to the separation but that has to be worked out within yourself.
I can understand being disappointed that he didn't call but I don't know about mad. It seems like you don't really consider yourselves separated since you said you "let" your husband go out.
2007-09-21 09:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by maximus_1914 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him before you get all mad and see what he says. Maybe he just passed out drunk or something. And if you're separated, I'm sorry - but why is he asking for your permission in the first place to go out? He shouldn't be.
Call him before you act.
2007-09-21 09:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi...
Well, first of all, giving your husband "permission" to do things with friends is ODD! Why does he have to have your permission to go out with friends once in a while?
If you are trying to CONTROL your husband, no wonder you have problems. It's not abnormal for a married person to do something with friends once in a while... just because we are married, we should not have to give up friends, hobbies and other activities.... it's just not healthy!
If you have jealousy issues, you can always do a yahoo search for JEALOUSY SELF-HELP. Jealousy does nothing short of destroying relationships.
2007-09-21 09:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
see i don't like how this looks at all, live music, drinking, women dressing real sexy, shaking thier goods on the dance floor, i think u know where that combination will take u. i think u should lay into him and let him know where the relationship is that he should be working on. i don't know how much detail u'd want to go into here but maybe even a penis inspection might be in order. u'll know if he did anything just by his reactions to u. sorry but it looks like ur the only one trying here.
2007-09-21 10:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋