my current boyfriend {who will remain nameless} aske me to marry him and i don't know if i want to but i love him soo damn much. what should i do??
2007-09-21 02:33:31 · 28 answers · asked by Star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you don't know if you want to.. then don't. Wait until you are sure. Think about your reasons for not wanting to do it, as well as reasons why you think you want to.... perhaps time will help, but sometimes love just isn't enough. While we need love in our marriages, there is also a lot more to it.
2007-09-21 02:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two ways of handling this one......
First, remember that it takes more than love to make a marriage work. If you have your doubts, there probably is a good reason for them. No, I'm not suggesting there's a problem with your boyfriend. It very well might be you're just nervous about such a commitment, and that's fine.
If you say no, you stand the risk of alienating him and hurting him badly. If you say yes, and aren't sure if you're ready yet, it can cause difficulties as well.
Who says you have to get married right away, or if you accept an engagement ring that you have to set a wedding date? No one that I know of.
If I were you, and I loved the guy, I'd say yes, but under the stipulation that you both enjoy a nice, long engagement. That'll give you the time you need to grow comfortable with your decision and will make him happy.
Engagements are kind of like a trial run at the marriage. You'll learn allot more about each other when you take the next step, but, breaking off an engagement is much easier than divorce, so, give yourself time.
Good luck to you!
2007-09-21 09:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your boyfriend, what is holding you back? The fear of commitment is very powerful. I think you should just take your time. Have an extended engagement. Just because he asked you to marry him doesn't mean that you have to get married tomorrow. Wait 3-6 months and then see how you feel. If this was sudden and unexpected, it may have just caught you off guard a little. If you really love him, after you have adjusted to this first step to commitment, you may start to feel more secure in taking the plunge. Good luck!!
2007-09-21 09:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by Gretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who puts on a costume like that and has photos taken of her amazing princess self is still a bit too immature and into herself to be thinking about marriage.
Your comment "I love him so damn much but don't know what to do" and your *telling* comment "current boyfriend", as in you're going through them like potato chips, also indicate you've got to just take some time and grow up quite a bit before you think about marriage.
You haven't even told us how long you've known this guy or have been dating him. My guess: under 6 months for both numbers. Another warning sign.
Save yourself a lifetime of grief and wait.
2007-09-21 10:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are hesitating it means you are not ready, and does not have anything to do with your love for him.
You need to really give some thought to why you are hesitating. Is it that you are not where you want to be in life before you settle down? Are you worried about money? Are you worried you will lose your freedom or that things will change between the two of you once you put the rings on?
You need to be 100% honest with yourself about the reasons you may not be wanting to marry.
The truth is that if he is the one you are meant to be with, he will try to understand you, and understand where your mind is at. If you can be honest with him about reasons why you are hesitating and talk them out, you may find that you are able to come to some kind of understanding and your excitement about getting married my increase.
Only you really know you and honesty with yourself before a big decision like marriage is the best thing. Good luck.
2007-09-21 09:43:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know you love him but do you know if you can live with him day in and day out for the rest of your life? Before you say yes, try to concentrate on the things that he does that just drives you crazy and then ask yourself if you can live with these things and don't kid yourself because he is never going to change. You have to love everything about him the good and the bad. Ask yourself this; Will you still laugh at that funny story he tells after you have heard it a million times? If the answer is yes and your not kidding yourself then say yes.
2007-09-21 10:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes more than love to succeed in a marriage. You should wait until you DO know if you want to marry him. Dont feel pressured either, you'll know when its just right for you. Good luck and God Bless :-) smile and have a happy Friday!
2007-09-21 09:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by teri is ambience 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get engaged first, and do not necessarily set a date. You will buy some time, show your commitment without taking the ultimate plunge. The fact that you love someone that loves you back is great, but marriage should be something you are BOTH ready for.
Good luck.
2007-09-21 09:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
just tell him you're not ready for marriage yet. Be clear to him that you love him very much, you just don't want to be married right now. Why rush?
2007-09-21 10:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by PrincessJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married unless you are ready. Explain to him that you love him but that at this point in your relationship you are not ready to get married. If he does love you, he should understand.
2007-09-21 10:09:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋