Any words of wisdom?

Question

This isn’t really a question I just want support. In April after trying for our second child for only 2 months we got pregnant we were so happy but lost the baby in June. The way things happened was very hard for me. We were told that after 2 months we could start trying again. I just started my period today cycle 3 of trying. I know that isn’t very long but if you think about it it has been 6 moths of trying . Its hard to wait even though we know it will happen eventually. But the part that is so hard for me is I am married we own our home as well as our vehicles all out right we have a 3 bedroom house and a lot of love and I keep getting told about my cousin who doesn’t have custody of her 2 year old is now trying really hard to get pregnant buy some guy she has been dating for like a month she is homeless and her child is living with the grandmother who is soon to be homeless. She had an abortion since her daughter has been born and my uncles wife is apparently trying to get pregnant because there relationship is crumbling again partly because she is a crappy parent and they cant handle the 3 kids they have and make there oldest child responsible for the other 2. and with out getting into all the stories I know a million ppl in bad situations who are pregnant. I just don’t get it why did my baby have to be taken away from me. All I could say when I was told about my cousin was im going to be pissed if she gets pregnant b4 me!! I know everything happens the way it does for a reason and we have already been very blessed with our son and a lot of ppl don’t even have that. It just stinks why cant ppl who actually want to get pregnant and for the right reasons get pregnant. Like I said it isn’t a question I just need to vent.

Answer 1

I understand you very well, (this is not an answer either but i just need to vent too). Couples of days ago my mother in law and i were talking about similar things, it is life and sometimes it gets difficult to understand.
In my case besides all the things that you had mention about ppl having kids and bringing them angels to suffer to this world and us here trying to have at leat one to love him/her and to give the best to and it is the most difficult thing to do.
My husband is a young man (28yrs) and a diabetic type 1 since he was 12, very succesful business man, the best son i could ever seen, the best friend to anybody and a husband that i'm so blessed, i am a little older than him (33) and i was raised by my mother who taught me the best values and morals in life, she was a single mum, but that wasn't a problem she was a mother and father and still is. My husband is very depressed at the moment b/c we can't get pregnant, he thinks about my age and about his health, and the fact that he will not be able to get me pregnant anymore (we were prego in 2005 but was a m/c) is driving him insane, and i better stop because i have so much to say that its not fair that i come here and post this long article about my life when others have it worse, but i just wanted to say that i'm with you and sometimes a lot of things are not fair, but concentrate on yourself, don't think about those things, that could only make more depressed and depression can affect your chances. Good luck to you!!!!

Answer 2

Oh you poor petal. I think the exact same thing all the time. Why do poorly 'equipped' people have babies willy-nilly and the ones that desparately want one can't or lose theirs? Its so cruel. Your angel baby just wasn't meant to be here yet and I'm sure there is another one waiting in the wings for you. When it is ready and your body is ready it will happen. Don't despair, its only been a few months and you and your body went through a traumatic time and is waiting till its 100% ready to accept another pregnancy. I'm sure that when it does happen it will be worth the wait. The more you stress the less likely it is to happen so find some relaxation time for yourself. I recommend finding an exercise class called 'body balance' which is a mixture of yoga, pilates and tai chi which is just the best best best thing for getting a supple, fit body and relaxed mind (i'm not a hippy type either but loved this class at my gym!).

Take the time to vent and purge so when its time for the baby making days all the bad energy is gone from your mind and you can relax and enjoy it!
Best of luck and I hope it happens again for you soon.

Answer 3

Yes.... I want to know that too! I know how you feel, I had a miscarriage April 3rd of this year. I was 13 weeks along. It just kills me that there are so many women out there who are getting abortions while there are so many trying to conceive and can't, or they lose their babies. And all the women who don't care who the dad is, or are pregnant and don't even care, and I know one woman now who has 3 children and doesn't have anything to do with them because she is out running around being a druggie. Her youngest is only about 3 months, she hasn't spent more than a week with her baby other than being in the hospital for delivery. It is confusing, but you'll eventually get pregnant. Hopefully we all will who are TTC.

Answer 4

Hang in there, sister! We tried for 2 years to ge pregnant, and were finally able to conceive twins through IVF. At 25 weeks, one of the twins died in utero and triggered early labor. The first twin was stillborn, and the other lived only 9 days in the ICU and then died of a lung hemorrhage. This happened just last month. So I know the pain of losing a child (actually, TWO children) that you wanted so badly to have. And I know the pain of watching others around you take the ability to have children for granted. And I know the pain of wondering WHY God would take your child (or in my case, why He had to take BOTH of them) when you have so much love to give and so many other children are unwanted and neglected. I can only say that you have to stay strong, for your husband, for your living son, and for the future children you are going to have someday soon. You have to remain positive and focus on the gifts that you DO have and keep hoping and praying for more children and don't worry about what the rest of the world is doing.

Also, have you considered foster care or adoption? It sounds like you love children very much and have so much love to give -- it might help you feel better about things if you're able to provide love and care to some of those children that are taken so much for granted out there.......

Good luck, and take care of yourself!

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I have been trying to become pregnant for the last 15 months with no luck and that makes me so upset. Especially because there are soo many women out there that don't want to get pregnant or have kids but they do! I don't understand this. People like us who would give anything in the world and would take care of our baby to the fullest, are the one's that have the hardest time getting pregnant!

**~TTC since June 2006~**

Answer 6

I feel the same way. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now, and no such luck. Everyone else gets pregnant all around me. I mean people who aren't even married and live with their parents. And all they care about is going out and getting drunk. I don't think it's fair that good people like us have such a hard time when we want to have a baby. It'll all work out in the end though I guess. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Have faith and try to be positive. Losing a child must be hard but try not to come down on others. Focus on being a good person, the ground work is set, don't lose hope, keep smiling. Creating life is a beautiful thing. Keep on truckin girl:)

Answer 8

I long for life to be completely fair, too. But congratulations on providing a stable life for the child you have. It sounds like your cousin has a lot of pain to make the series of poor decisions she has made. Too bad she is dragging children through it, and I can understand why you feel angry about this.

Answer 9

I am sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage at the end of Aug and I understand your pain. I hope it subsides.