The affair ended quietly...Was a long distance thing so running into each other was never a problem...Over the course of 5 months, misunderstandings accumulated....He started it by asking for a break, then changing his mind. I messed up as much as him, at times pursuing him, at times pushing him away...Then I ended it...
Leaving my marriage was never an option for me...For him neither...
Part of me just wants to move on and part of me is shattered he didn't try harder to change my mind...
I guess my question is...How long am I going to feel like SH!T?
2007-09-21 01:26:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you feel like sh!t? You had a brief encounter and it's over now. It didn't break up your marriage and you're still in one piece. Let it rest. Whatever you do, DO NOT tell your husband. He doesn't deserve the drama. The man didn't try harder, because he didn't want to. Doesn't mean he didn't care about you. The affair ran its course and it was time to quit. Move on and try to build a stronger marriage. And don't cheat on your husband again. It's the coward's way out of an unhappy marriage.
2007-09-21 02:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand how painful your situation is, a no win situation. I feel the affair between you and him has served its purpose and eventually filtered out. You were two people who turned to one another for some need missing in your marriages and even though you both knew it was wrong, the need over rode the guilt. Human mistake. I am sure he is hurting just as much as you are, but you gotta know, the reality of having a future together was not very good. What you both felt for each other was not really based on love, but on need. Whether that need be physically or emotional the lost of it is no fun. Now is the time to focus on your marriage, try to remember how it was in the beginning before you and your husband got married. It is never too late to rekindle the love you and your husband once felt for each other. And by all means, no matter how guilty you feel, please to do tell your husband about the affair. I do not con-dome lying, but if you have any chance to move forward in your marriage, know that telling him will only cause him unnecessary pain. Learn from your mistake and value and rebuild the love in your marriage. Best of luck to you!
2007-09-21 09:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ended it.....a very smart and wise decision to make; now stick to this decision. You know that it was wrong and I believe, though you may still be emotionally attached to this guy, you are also feeling relief. Relief from all the deception, lies and guilt. I also believe you should let your husband know about it as there is a reason you turned to someone else. You should thank God this OM did not try harder to change your mind; he also knew it was wrong. Concentrate on your marriage and fixing that part of your life.
2007-09-21 09:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No excuse for cheating....your gonna feel like **** for a very long time. People like you are the reason why the divorce rate in this country is so friggin high
(comment from above)
"And to all that give you a hard time on here ignore it they are close minded and live in a fantasy world where they think that they and their loved ones are not capable of mistakes"
Thats still no excuse to cheat sweety either stay faithful and be happy or leave if your not happy NOT a hard decision (sure wasnt hard for you to decide to cheat). I can tell you probably cheated before too and trying to make the situation less than what it was to make yourself feel better. But its not cheating ruins lives. Do that **** when you are single not when you are suppose to be "commited" to another.
2007-09-21 08:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're going to feel awful until you decide that ending your adulterous affair was for the best and move on.
That means no contact with Party #2 - at all. Ever.
Now, how are you going to break the news of your infidelity to your husband? You know it's going to hit - eventually.
Next time, do it the right way - make yourself single FIRST - then find a new honey.
2007-09-21 08:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would he fight for a relationship with you? According to you, an affair is supposed to add to your happiness. If neither of you will stand up and do what it takes to have a successful happy marriage, why on god's green earth do you think an affair is worth salvaging? You make no sense.
I would be working on my marriage, not yearning for an affair. You will feel like **** until you grow up and stop being so selfish. The world doesn't revolve around you and your happiness. I feel sorry for your spouses...............
2007-09-21 08:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
you will feel this way untill you let your self stop. Stop everything your doing that you feel is wrong. And when let you or your spouse (if you chose to tell) forgive and most important forget.
And to all that give you a hard time on here ignore it they are close minded and live in a fantasy world where they think that they and their loved ones are not capable of mistakes.
Learn to walk in the shoes of others we are all human!
2007-09-21 08:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by ktychaos13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like what ~jamaicanmixy~ had to say. I would also like to add. Why would a man are anyone for that matter fight hard for someone their cheating with, when both are married. You didn't even fight hard for your own marriage, you gave him everything you should of been giving to your husband. Seeing that he himself is married, how do you think that makes you look in his eyes when the dust settles. We fight for anything worth having. Get your mind right & try to fix what ever is wrong within your marriage.
2007-09-21 08:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
By the sound of it, you're full of resources and I'm even surprised that you haven't already moved on!
Don't you think that the man you married and want to remain married to, God knows why, deserves a bit of attention, respect and loyalty??
Don't you think that getting away with it Scot free is enougth, that you'd also want to have blood on your hands/?
Just count your blessing and be a good wife!
2007-09-21 08:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. If you both felt as though you both would never leave your marriages then why do it?
I do think you should feel like sh!t for cheating on your husband! Why would this man who is married to someone else fight for you?!?
I am glad he went back to his wife.
2007-09-21 08:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋